Circles
by CodyRhodesFan
Summary: C is for Crying. I is for Irritation. R is for Redemption. C is for Care. L is for Languish. E is for Eternity. S is for Serenity. The ‘Circles’ theory makes up people’s lives. It DESTROYED the lives of three people. ChipMUNK! C-C-C-COMPLETE!
1. Prologue: Broken Cinderella

**Here's my new ChipMUNK story! Well, I can't completely say it's ChipMUNK-y. Since there's gonna be a lot of Junk too, =D. The name goes to **_**NeroAnne**_**. Not my creation. It's even written on my profile that it's not my creation. Besides, if I'd do a Jeff/Punk, pairing, I'd usually give them a stupid name… isn't Puff too Sam-ish even for me? XP.**

**Anyways, let's go back to the story…it's gonna be dark and I put the warnings after the rating so yeah…don't be shocked. **

**This is an issue to a lot of people but: like the lovely **_**browngirlwrites**_**, I write my Phil/Jeff with Phil as a sub and Jeff as a dom. I know. A lot of you might like it the other way around but I'm warning you now that I go by age so…yeah… XP. By the way, only the prologue is written this way. ;)**

* * *

Title: Circles  
Rated: +18 – violence; themes; junk; chipmunk-y; possible character death; dark; dark; DARK  
Summary: C is for Crying. I is for Irritation. R is for Redemption. C is for Care. L is for Languish. E is for Eternity. S is for Serenity. The 'Circles' theory makes up people's lives. It DESTROYED the lives of three people & now, they must suffer the fact that they might never be the same again. SLASH.  
Basic plot: Matt stared at the screen in front of him. He'd taken Phil's laptop just because he thought that Phil had something to hide and he had been curious…and after trying too many passwords, he'd come across one he found fairly amusing. Phil Hardy. His eyes were about to pop out of his head when he saw the words PASSWORD ACCEPTED. Truth is…which Hardy? ChipMUNK & JUNK love!  
Genre: Romance/Tragedy

* * *

.prologue.

* * *

Phil walks around with his head held high around the wrestling arena.

_He'sdyingontheinsidehe'sdyingontheinside_

Matt and him sleep in different beds now, like two people that aren't fucking each other should.

Three boys, one hotel room, a broken Cinderella story…

_I'minlovewithhimGodI'mfuckinginlovewithhim_

Cinderella's slipper breaks.

_Heartbrokenintotwomanypieces_

And there's nothing left to save our precious little Cinderella anymore.

His heart's always been broken and shattered.

_Ican'tfixitanymore_

And he's always walked around hearing the same things.

_Fag._

_Bitch._

_Slut._

_Hoe._

And he doesn't want to try…

_Don'thurtmeagain_

And he still doesn't know where the hell his heart is anymore.

Nights filled with nightmares.

Mornings filled with broken 'hello's and quick pointless conversations that don't really mean anything anymore.

_There'snothingleft_

Don't cry, children. Hush, hush, babies. They'll be okay.

_hushhush_

_Our_ **broken** _**Cinderella**_.

* * *

**Yeah…I know my author's note is bigger than this but who cares? I mean, it's just like an introduction. Besides, I used to write this way and I miss it so…**

**X Sam.**


	2. Chapter One: Deadly Parade

**Okay, I promised I wouldn't ramble but I just had to! XP. About my stupidity, of course. I was walking in my mother's fuzzy slippers and they actually make me trip a lot so when I fell, my Mattymuse had to laugh. I have just the weirdest squeak ever! XD. I know, I'm stupid when I ramble…X3.**

**Oh, and I had no idea what to try for this chapter…I had like three different ideas but I finally picked one! I hope that it's one that you guys will actually like! Please? Also, I played a lot with the format, just to let you know. I don't write like everyone else…so yeah! **

* * *

**+ChapterOne**:_StartOfADeadlyParade_

* * *

It's funny.

Matt hates going out into the streets in the morning at six o'clock because it's too early and his head's pounding too hard and hearing the roars of the engines spin to life with every breath he takes and smelling the scent of gasoline as it burns has really tired him out as Jeff hops from store to store, trying to search for just the perfect clothing for tonight, Matt sighs as he tells Jeff that he's using a restroom as Jeff looks through different types of colorful too flashy belts.

Matt is just about to walk into the restroom when he notices that a man has been standing outside for quite a while, he's been standing there for hours on end, not saying a word coming out of his mouth as he leans towards the thick cold store frame and Matt just notices his clothing, the ragged black shirt of his and the tattered white shorts that barely cover enough and he notices just how beautiful that face is, even with all the filth that's trapped behind the surface of his face, Matt steps outside and looks at him, his heart skips a beat.

The hazel eyed man twists his head at Matt and a weak, slightly afraid smile spreads across his face.

"Your name is…?" Matt starts.

The black haired man sighs. "Phil. Phil Brooks."

"And you're out here because…?"

"I don't have a home."

"Why don't you stay with your parents?"

"Died."

_(hisheartdiedtoo)._

"Oh, I'm so sorry…but don't you have a family?"

"I was in an orphanage. I don't have a family."

"Then how did you know your last name?"

"It's not my last name. It's my last family's name. They figured out I was gay but they kicked me out…"

"_Oh_," Matt feels so foolish. _(oh?isthatallyoucansay?!)_

It's so funny, isn't it?

Matt holds onto Phil's face and stares into those hazel eyes and his heart's about to skip a beat, those eyes…they're so damn special, so unique, so beautiful and he feels Phil stiffen at that touch.

"What if I can tell you that I can get you a job, Phil?"

Phil's eyes enlighten.

A smile spreads across those lips. "Y-you mean it?!" he seems to want to jump up and down, bounce from the sheer excitement that's bubbling in his body.

Matt nods his head. "I can probably get you a job with my boss but be careful, some of these creeps there. Damn."

"Hey," his mind snaps back to Jeff and he looks over at Jeff who's pouting at the register man, apparently things aren't going his way and Matt knows how Jeff gets when that happens, he rolls his eyes and looks back at Phil who's staring at Jeff now, a smile spreading across his lips, so bright and enthusiastic and Matt's heart melts with warmth and satisfaction because he's never seen a smile that like before besides Jeff. "There's a party today. I think if you'll join us. Our boss, Vince, will most likely take you. It's good socializing even."

"What do you work as?"

"A wrestler."

"_Oh_," it's Phil's turn to feel foolish. _(withthatbodywhatdoyouexpect?) _and a blush spreads across his face, turning from a pale color to pure pink. "How am I going to get a job? I've never wrestled in my life."

Matt shakes his head. "I don't think you're going to become a wrestler since you haven't trained but I'm sure Vine will find you another spot."

"Like the coffee boy."

Matt chuckles. "You got jokes, don't you?"

Phil just stares at him, silently and Matt feels as if he's offended him and the minute that he's turned his smile into a frown, Phil chuckles and Matt knows that that itself is a joke before he smiles himself.

"I gotta go check on my brother. He's gonna kill me if I don't come back now. See you at the party."

Just before Matt goes away, he gives him instruction and Phil takes it in before he walks off but he stops in his position, a thought suddenly attacking his mind. "I don't have any clothes…"

Matt smirks. "Come to my house." He quickly gives him an address and Phil takes it in before nodding his head, used to so by a strong memory, 'and I'll get something ready for you."

* * *

Phil straightens his tie as he walks alongside Matt and Jeff.

Until now, he's not attempted to talk to Jeff because he knows it will be awkward so he just stares outside of the window, just looking outside in the black world that he walks in all the time and when they're finally there, Phil doesn't leave Matt's side _()_ and he hides behind Matt and when Matt hears the sound of Vince talking, he twists his head at him, a soft smile on his delicate featured face. "Vince!"

"Oh, Matthew."

Matt holds onto Phil's wrist and pulls him towards Vince. "This is…" Matt's eyes look up and down Phil's frame. "My brother, Phil Hardy."

Phil freezes instantly.

Matt sends him a look _(just play along)_ and Phil reads the condensed look in Matt's eyes before Matt continues speaking to Vince. "He's looking for a job and he's interested in applying in the wrestling business."

"Can he wrestle?"

Matt's stomach twists with acid as he nods his head nervously. "Yeah, he's a chip off the ole' block."

Linda comes towards Vince and says something in his hear and Vince nods to her once before telling Matt that they'll talk tomorrow and just as Matt and Phil walk off towards the bar table, Phil's face grimacing with disgust at the sight of the alcohol, wine and champagne and tequila, all types of alcohol there and his stomach twists with acid as he stares at Matt, suddenly feeling his heart pound with frustration. "You told him that I was _your brother_?!"

"Shh! People can still hear, you know!"

Phil stares at him with a scowl.

"Yes, yes, I did. But only because I panicked. I thought if you're related to me, you'll be more interested and he's never talked to my father so…"

Phil sighs and is about to walk off when Matt holds onto his wrist.

"What's wrong?"

"There's too much alcohol here."

"Don't tell me…"

"Straightedge."

Phil walks off when Matt loosens his grip and steps outside into the cold, freezing night, outside where Jeff's smoking a cigarette, looking up at the black night and Phil's eyes slowly go up and down Jeff's body, the fact that Jeff dresses so well has astounded Phil and the extreme use of color has also astounded him as well, and just as Phil's about to talk to him, he hears a familiar sound from behind him.

"_Phil!"_

* * *

Matt walks out of the party building and steps outside to see Jeff smoking and he rolls his eyes. "Jeff? You saw Phil?"

Jeff nods his head and takes another long drag. "He ran off."

"What?"

Jeff points towards the direction that Phil has ran in and when they both hear an ear-piercing scream, Jeff drops his cigarette and he stabs it with the heel of his shoe before he stares back at Matt and both of their hearts pound as Jeff runs towards the direction and Matt follows.

They find Phil on the ground, with blood seeping out of every pore of his body, his breathing is shallow…

Matt leans down and holds onto Phil as Jeff dials 911.

"Hey! I need an ambulance here! Fast!" he gives details about the location that Matt fails to hear as he cups onto Phil's cheek.

"Dammit…what kind of monster would do this to a person…?"

_(_**little do you know matty that it's just the start of this deadly parade  
i-it's t-t-toxic**_)._

It's so funny that it's fucking sad.

* * *

**And that's the end of chapter one. I don't know if any of you want to continue reading. Though as you can see Phil will become CM Punk in the future &…well, I got nothing to say except for…I hope you like this chapter cause I really don't know what to think of it.**

**X Sam.**


	3. Chapter Two: Damned Hospital Scene

**I has much planned for this story already. I'm watching Tinkerbell & writing it. So I'm very surprised I didn't write '_moonstone_' or '_Terrance_' somewhere around this. _Jeffy: I LOVE Tinkerbell! _Oh great, Jeffymuse has me thinking even more about it. Jeez. I need coffee & I'm tired & I'm going to a party today! YAY! X3. I luff all of you very much that it's unbelievable. All know I spoil too much. X3.**

* * *

+**ChapterTwo**:_DamnedHospitalScene_

* * *

Phil's eyes slowly open.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

His heart rate's stable.

His eyes steadily scan through the room and he sees that Matt's lying down beside him, his hard brown eyes focusing on Phil's pale face for far too long as Matt holds onto Jeff, whose head is on Matt's shoulder. Drool's seeping out of the corner of his tiny pink mouth and at the soft but warm touch, Jeff's eyes open to look at Phil's.

Phil is about to sit up but Jeff stands up and holds him down by his shoulders, causing Phil to start respiring steadily, the soft breaths falling out of his mouth too quickly and just at the memory of last night, his breath turns even shallower, causing Jeff to try and cajole him to breathe better. "Phil, dammit, breathe."

"I-I'm trying," Phil tries to convince Jeff who nods his head once and Matt just stares at both of them as their eyes lock with each other, the liquidness of their eyes just get to Matt, the lack of emotion in both of their eyes…

"What the hell happened back there, Phil?"

Phil's eyes go from Jeff's face to Matt's concerned one. "Who did that to you?"

"I'm just trouble." Phil looks down at his thighs and runs his hand through Jeff's arm, feeling the warmth of the flesh against his colder one, a smile smears across his tan pale face. "I'm just trouble…" he repeats.

"I don't get it, Phil."

"I'm a man that's been jumping from family to family for years on end and I always refused to go to homeless shelters, I made some friend and I made some enemies and they know where to track me so…what's not to get?" Phil inquires.

"Who were they? Why?"

Phil stares at him for a long time before giving him. "My parents died in a car crash and before that, they were big time drug addicts. They used to make connections with drug dealers and take more than 50 ounces a day and they had a lot of fun snorting coke and drinking beer," Phil's shoulders shudder. "And they—they never paid. They always said they would and they never did. When all of the drug dealers went against them and said that they'd either force the money out of them or kill them if they don't have the money, they were high, drunk and reckless when they got into an accident trying to drive away from it—we lived in Chicago and they wanted to get away. Someplace far. Then again, my parents never had money for a plane…"

"And you? If they were in a car crash, what happened to you?"

Phil pulls up his shirt to expose a scar smeared across his stomach and Matt inspects it, letting his finger run through the imperfection that shattered Phil's appearance and that isn't the only thing that scared Matt, it's the fact that Phil's body is covered in bruises and blood and they pop so badly against his pale flesh yet Phil doesn't seem to care at all.

"And they want the money…?"

Phil nods his head. "I sold their house when I was sixteen _but it wasn't enough_. I still had a debt."

Matt just stares at Phil.

His skin.

The blood.

Phil seems to be someone out of a horror movie, battered and bruised badly, but the lookon Phil's face, the careless that remains on his face is what shocks Matt the most.

_How long had he been living this way…?_

"Damn…" Jeff curses under his breath.

Phil just gives a weak, polite smile.

"Oh, you are so not getting out of my sight anymore, understand?" Matt inquires and Phil's eyes widen at the sternness before he looks at Jeff who nods his head.

"He's always like this."

"How do you live like this?"

A chuckle escapes from Jeff's mouth. "I make a deal with him! Buy us Skittles, Matty!"

"Oh boy."

* * *

"I am _not_ getting up!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

Jeff throws the cover on his face but Matt proceeds to pushing him off the bed and it's six damn o'clock but Matt still refuses to believe it's too early to wake up as he pushes Jeff into his bathroom. "And don't forget to scrub behind your ears, Jeffery!"

A muffled curse comes out of Jeff's mouth. "This water is damn cold!"

"I don't care if you freeze in there as long as you're clean!"

Matt steps out of the room and proceeds to go to Phil's room who he's already woken up and told him to shower and just as he opens the door, a bright blush spreads across Matt's face as he realizes that Phil's completely naked and is about to wear his clothing.

"I…um…" Matt stammers.

Phil giggles under his breath.

Matt stares in shock. "You're-"

"Is it a bad thing?" Phil asks, sitting down and pulling Jeff's clothing on his tiny frame and Matt just stands there and stares, almost as if he's trying to see behind the skin as he tries to hold back an erection.

"Um…it's sorta usually embarrassing…"

"I guess I'm just used to it."

"Sex?"

Phil nods his head.

"So you're _not_ a virgin?"

Phil points to his chest. "Me? No! What kind of question is that?"

Matt chuckles, trying to lighten the dense atmosphere as he sits beside Phil, watching him wear the rest of his—_Jeff's_—clothing and he watches how the flashy colors still pop against his skin, anything pops against his skin, it's the milky whiteness that makes Matt want to lick his skin. It seems so pure, so…

Phil tucks a thick black strand against his ear, 'thanks for letting me stay and for the clothes."

"Not mine. Jeff's."

"He likes colors a lot."

"Yeah, he just loves everything about colors."

"Reminds me of a little kid."

"He has a lot of mature qualities too though."

"Like?" Phil raises an eyebrow.

"Like he's very responsible. I can trust him any time."

Phil bats an eyelash. "Can you trust me?"

Matt stares at him, stares into those begging eyes, begging for the truth, and Matt holds onto Phil's shoulder, "hey…" his voice is soft and considerate. "I don't know anything about you yet. I don't think I can but—"

"Then why did you offer giving me a job?"

Matt is silent for a while. "There's just…something…about you. That just captured me at first sight, you know?"

Phil shakes his head and bites down his lip. "You just feel sorry for me! All of you do! It's like I'm this stray puppy outside and you feel sad for it so you think that giving me a little milk and taking care of me like some toy will make me feel better!"

Matt just stares as Phil holds his head in his hands and shakes but he doesn't cry and Matt sits down beside him, pulling Phil into a hug and running his fingers through Phil's hair. "Phil…you're not a puppy…"

"But everyone treats me the same. I don't wanna be your puppy dog. I wanna help you. If I'm going to stay here, I want to do something for you—"

Matt shakes his head. "I just want you to stay here."

It doesn't seem like he can take anything from Phil, he can't imagine the guilt that would be in the pit of his stomach if he'd make Phil work to stay but Phil feels like a burden if he'd stay and not work and Matt doesn't know what to do to make them both satisfied. "I'll go get you some breakfast."

Phil doesn't say anything as Matt walks out and he runs his hand through his hair, a sigh escaping his soft pink lips and then, he hears the sound of footsteps, soft and delicate, tapping against the floor and Jeff peeks out, his face enlightened, those sweet too soft green eyes popping against his tan pale skin.

"Phil?" Jeff giggles and then walks towards him, sitting down beside him and he presses his head toward Phil's shoulder. "Damn, you look so different. I like your clothes."

It's Phil's turn to giggle. "It's your clothes!"

"And I like it! Especially on you. It's very…you know, you have white skin so it shows nicely. I would tell Matty to wear some but he doesn't like all these colors. He's very neutral," Jeff smiles weakly. "Something wrong? You look kinda down."

Phil lets out a sigh. "It's your brother. He…I wanna do something for him because since I'm staying here, I'm supposed to do something for you. You know. Give and take. Something like that. But he won't fucking let me. He treats me like a damn toy. He doesn't get that I want to help him."

Jeff slowly nods his head. "Matt's just like that. He doesn't like taking from people."

"But I want to give him something! Anything." Phil sighs and looks away from Jeff who holds onto his shoulder and as Phil twists his head, he sees that deviousness that's on Jeff's face, the playfulness that makes Phil feel insecure only for a moment.

"What about something for me?" Jeff raises an eyebrow, sweet seduction.

Phil smirks. "I've never gone out with a solid guy in a relationship before. Just to let you know."

Jeff wiggles his eyebrow, his eyes silently undressing Phil, 'I have. Want me to teach?"

"Oh yes. Teach me all."

Jeff tilts his head towards Phil's mouth, his lips covering Phil's in a second and he pulls back and shakes his head. "You really don't have much experience in this, do you?"

"I hook up with drunken men. I don't think they care if I was beautiful or ugly or anything," Phil stares at Jeff who has now sympathetic eyes. "Please, just don't turn all 'aw, poor kid' against me. Please. I've had enough of that."

Jeff's eyes enlighten. "Fine."

Phil watches as Jeff holds onto Phil's waist, pulling him close to his lap and pulling him on top of it and Phil can feel Jeff's erect cock press against his stomach but he doesn't say a word as Jeff kisses Phil and Phil tries to copy Jeff's tongue movements and after a while, he's gotten a hang of it all and Jeff pulls off, a meek, soft smile smearing across Jeff's face as he kisses Phil's sweaty forehead. "You're very good at this, Flip."

"You went from Phil to Flip?" Phil giggles.

"It's cute."

"What else is cute?"

"Pip."

"Pip?"

"It sounds like that chipmunk from _Enchanted_." (1).

Phil chuckles under his breath before he nods his head one more time and just as Jeff is about to kiss Phil again, he hears the sound of Matt and that causes them both to jump up from their positions.

"You two? Breakfast!"

Both make their way downstairs without another word and Phil licks his lower lip, tasting the faint taste of Skittles and coffee and as he sits down on the chair, watching as Matt pulls two plates and Jeff digs his face in his plate of pancakes as fast as he could while Phil takes a taste of each, savoring each bite because this is one of the few meals that Phil eats fully and he always eats slow so halfway through the plate, he pushes it towards the table. "Phil? You not hungry?"

Phil shakes his head. "No, I'm stuffed."

Jeff takes Phil's plate and continues to scarf down the rest of the pancakes while Matt shakes his head and sips his coffee and Phil just watches, a smile spread across his face as Matt holds onto Phil's shoulder and stares straight into Phil's eyes, smiling. "Today, we're gonna go to Vince so dress nicely."

"I'm lending him some of my old clothes. It's always been nice this way." Jeff tells Matt, licking off a bit of syrup that had landed on the corner of his lips. "He looks amazing in my clothes, right, Matty?"

Matt stares at Phil for a while then nods his head. "Yeah," but he shakes his head at Jeff. "I'm not wearing those clothes, Jeff. Sorry."

"Dammit!"

Matt chuckles slightly. "Same old Jeff."

* * *

Jeff bounces up and down at Vince's office.

Matt's sitting down at the chair and holds onto Jeff's wrist, trying to prevent him from jumping even more as Phil steps out of the room with an emotionless face. "Did you get it?" Jeff is unable to hide the excitement in his voice.

"Well…" Phil's voice is soft and delicate and Jeff's smile drops. "I GOT IT!"

"You did?!"

Both of the two embrace and jump around excitedly while Matt stares at them and shakes his head, chucking at the scene in front of him as Phil pulls back with a bright smile on his face.

"After so long, finally, I got a job, 'Phil's smile then drops. "But I still don't know how to wrestle."

Jeff laughs. "That's your problem? I will teach you! It'll be fun! Just like all times, Matty! The trampoline!"

"Oh joy," Matt responds. "Run away, Phil, before he busts your head open."

"You fell I swear!"

"You hit me and then I fell and had a skull fracture!"

"Your brain was fractured in the first place!"

"It's skull. Skull and brain are two different things."

Phil giggles. "Are we going to repeat what you learned in science or are we outta here?"

"Outta here!" Jeff says before Matt gets a chance to say something and grabs onto Phil's wrist, dragging him outside while Matt walks behind them and watches Jeff skip around, Phil does the same after a while.

"What have I gotten myself into?"

* * *

Before lunch can finish, Phil pushes his plate away, feeling tired and satisfied. His eyes scan towards Jeff who also had eaten half his plate, but also because he's also eaten two plates for breakfast, and Matt's still able to scarf down all of his plate with no problems.

Jeff's the first to break the silence. "Man, I'm stuffed."

"It's what you get for eating what? Two dozen pancakes?"

Jeff giggles. "Not my fault. Food should never go to waste and Phil barely ate his!"

Matt rolls his eyes, Jeff always had an excuse for everything and well, without excuses…there is no Jeff, at all and as Matt feels a weight on top of his shoulder, he looks down to see an sleeping Phil and a blush creeps on his cheeks. "Jeff…you know that Phil takes affection very lightly?"

'_I know,'_ Jeff remembers this morning and a weak smile spreads across his face. "He does?"

Matt nods his head once more, looking down to check if Phil's actually asleep and he sees drool seeping from Phil's mouth, indicating that he's at full sleep. "It's just—weird. I mean, people get to know each other before they hook up. I walked into his room today and he was fully naked and he didn't even care. I think I might check for any potential STD's. I just feel as if Phil's…"

"I'm not."

Matt spins his head down towards Phil who stares up at him with hurt eyes and stands up, brushing dust away from his shirt. "I'm not going to let you test me for potential 'STD's. I know when I have one and if I have one. Okay? I know the signs and I definitely know that I don't have one."

"Some STD's don't even have any symptoms."

"So what? I'm not having sex with anyone around here!"

"How do I know?"

"Why don't you trust me?" Phil's eyes turn from their solid hazel state to a liquid state as both Matt's brown eyes and Phil's hazel eyes meet, both of them melting, as Phil looks down at the ground, feeling as if he doesn't have anything to look up to anymore. "I never lied to you. I've always been serious with you."

"…it's just…I'm not used to someone being okay with everything," Matt pulls a hand on Phil's shoulder. "I'm not used to someone being okay with their parents' death or just fine and dandy with fucking anyone off the streets. Phil, you lack emotion."

"Are you calling me _emotionless_?"

Matt steps back at the edge in Phil's voice.

Matt slowly nods his head. "Yes, Phil, I am."

Phil's anger turns into nothing after a moment and he sighs. "You're right."

"I…am?"

Phil nods his head. "I'm emotionless. I'm nothing."

"Phil! Don't you dare think like that! It's-"

"It's the truth."

"PHIL! Don't make me slap you right now! Don't say that! EVER."

Phil looks at Matt's eyes and sees the pure hardness of those brown eyes and even if Phil doesn't feel afraid or understand the full emotion of concern in those eyes, he slowly nods his head.

"What if I do? What if I tell you that I want to die?"

"Phil!" Jeff screams.

Matt slaps Phil's cheek, causing Phil to jerk out of his trance, hold onto the sting on his face, staring up at the man who'd saved him and now he'd hit him. Phil bites down at his lower lip while silence passes between all three.

Matt realizes that he'd hit him too hard when he sees that the redness of his cheek doesn't swell down even after a while. "I'll go get some ice for that."

Phil watches as Matt walks off.

The silence still remains as Phil sits down onto the chair, still holding onto his cheek, just unable to comprehend that Matt had slapped him. Jeff doesn't either. "Phil…? Are you okay?"

Phil slowly nods his head but it's enough to say that he's lying. Matt returns with a pack of ice and puts it on Phil's cheek, Phil holds the pack close to his cheek and those eyes look up towards Matt, no words coming out of anyone's mouths for a long time as Matt pays the check and they all leave.

The car ride is as silent.

It's dark now outside.

Phil lays his head on the car's glass and watches as the people pass by and they're all so…happy. Why is he so emotionless? Why isn't he sad or happy or anything? Just so damn numb.

He hates it.

He hates being numb.

Phil feels arms wrap around his waist and Jeff pulls Phil close to him, running his hand down Phil's side, kissing the top of his forehead, 'it's okay, Pip…it's gonna be alright, lovely."

Phil presses his head against Jeff's shoulder, and he wants to cry. He'd do anything to shed a tear, emotion, tears are all made up of emotions but no, nothing…no tears. Just nothing. And that makes Phil's grief even worse as he snuggles towards Jeff's chest. Just as they reach the house, Matt looks back at Jeff and Phil, 'you two coming in?"

"No, Matty, Phil and I need to talk."

Matt nods his head and steps out, pondering on what happened today as he gives Jeff the keys of the car and shuts the door of the car, leaving them both alone in the car. Phil doesn't say a word, just staring at Jeff's lap. As he'd been doing for the last few moments. Jeff runs his hand down Phil's side.

"Phil."

Phil looks up at Jeff but shakes his head. "I don't wanna talk right now."

"Please."

"He's right."

Jeff doesn't say anything even if he doesn't know what in hell's name Phil's talking about. He lets him continue to repeat it. "He's right…" his voice is softer now. "I am emotionless…"

"Phil, don't listen to him! He doesn't know what he's talking about!"

"He's right."

"Phil…you may be a tad bit emotionless but that's not a bad thing."

Phil pulls himself away from Jeff, looking into Jeff's eyes, and Jeff could see the pure grief and sadness in his eyes. "Jeff, please, listen to me…I've been emotionless for too damn long. When my parents died, I went to their grave…and when people cried for them, I just stood there and I did nothing. I didn't even feel sad. I-I don't know. It's like…it's like I'm there but I'm not really there… and…I just don't know. I break my parent's mirror and scratch it against my damn skin and I still can't cry!"

Jeff wraps his arms around Phil's waist and tries to calm down a sweating Phil. "Phil… just calm down."

"I can't!"

"Breathe."

Phil stares at Jeff.

"Breathe…"

Phil tries to stop hyperventilating as he takes deeper, full-blown breaths and soon, Jeff's breaths are on his face.

"Calm down," Jeff kisses Phil's forehead. "It's gonna be alright, Pip."

"It's gonna be alright…" Phil repeats, mostly to himself. The words are fading into nothingness… and both of them stare at each just one more time just before Phil's eyes drop, tiredness overwhelming his eyes, falling fast asleep…

* * *

_**EDIT: I forgotz about this. **_

_**(1) I do not own Enchanted & also...isn't that a coincidence? A chipmunk named Pip. Phil can so be turned to Pip. X3. AND A CHIPMUNK? Isn't it obvious? ENCHANTED WANTS CHIPMUNK FLUFF TOO! X3. **_

**_Enough of my stupidity._  
**

**That was sad...I'll make it sadder! '_Torn_'. My babeh. IT'S GONE! *cries* I'm so very sad that it's all gone...*sniffsniff*  
**

**X Sam. **


	4. Chapter Three: Lifeless Children

**I'm finally done with my first ChipMUNK story**_**. No!**_** Sad, no? I just can't believe it. This morning, I had a nice warm cup of Cappuccino and was buzzing throughout class. X3. By the way, my Mattymuse & Jeffy are still fighting about a ruler!**

* * *

**ChapterThree**:_LifelessChildren_

* * *

"I'm awake! I'm awake! I swear!"

Jeff's closed eyes slowly open as he's forced to stand up and walk towards the bathroom to take the bath in the usually cold water and when the water's warm, he smirks to himself. "The water's warm!"

Matt shakes his head, laughing. "Oh no! I might have to delay breakfast two hours!"

"I don't take that long in the bathroom!"

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

Just as Matt's about to walk off, Phil bumps into him, the damp hair falls onto Matt's clothing and Matt pulls back at Phil's giggling while Matt looks up and down Phil's frame as Phil hugs to his towel.

"You wear your towel like a girl."

"Jeff does it."

"Jeff's a girl."

"HEY! I heard that!" a sound of shampoo being spilled into Jeff's hair can be heard and Jeff's humming before Matt shakes his head and looks at Phil, who giggles as his hand grips tighter onto his towel.

"When you're done showering, heat up your own food!"

"Matty, you know I hate pushing buttons on that tiny microwave with a new manicure!"

Matt shakes his head and looks back at Phil, 'if you hang out with Jeff, you're gonna go to the mall a lot."

"Does he wear a bra?"

"If I let him, he would."

Phil laughs once more, his bubbly laughter, 'I like Jeff. He's fun."

"You should go back to your room and change," and Phil does just that, walking towards the room and changing from his clothing, stripping out of some and wearing some, like a second skin, and after about fifteen minutes, he's finally decided on what clothes he wants to wear before he goes downstairs and he sees that he and Matt are the only one there and that causes Phil to feel uneasy as he sits down. Phil takes a spoon and takes a spoonful of cereal, feeling the cold milk rush to his mouth, he smiles at the taste of food and he feels as if it won't go on for long.

Phil sits down and takes a taste of cereal.

"So, today, Jeff and I are throwing a party. Just stay in your room."

Phil's eyes lock with Matt's. "Of course, because you don't trust me around people and think I'll give them an STD."

"Don't start with me, Phil…"

Matt's eyes turn dangerous and Phil just sighs before he takes another spoonful of cereal. "I just don't understand why you mistrust me so bad. I mean, Jeff, you trust, so well. But me…"

"Jeff's my brother. Don't you dare compare your rights to his."

"Apparently, to Vince, I am your brother."

"Phil…don't make me throw you out of this house right now…"

Just then, Jeff steps into the room and both of them go very silent as they scarf down their food and Jeff sits down, taking a bowl of hot milk and cereal from Matt. "What'd I miss?" he says to them both but none of them speak, too furious. "I swear I didn't do anything!"

Matt grunts. "It's nothing about you, Jeff. It's about one ungrateful little-"

"I'm not ungrateful! I just want some rights. I've been living outside for years on end and I've starved for more than two days and barely have water, so don't you dare call me ungrateful!" Phil screams, his voice high-pitched.

"Rebellious princess."

Jeff holds a hand onto Phil's shoulder, 'Matty, don't be so-"

"You're on his side, too?"

"Why are you so against me?" Phil's voice is weak and brittle.

"I'm not against you! I'm the one who gave you a home and I expect you to follow the rules!" that makes Phil's face turns paler even more, despair burning into his face. "Oh no, don't you come crying around just because you can't handle-"

Jeff stares up at Matt. "You're as emotionless as he is, Matty. He's just a child. He doesn't know how we live! You're not supposed to do this to him! Come on, Phil, let's go!"

Matt watches as both of them walk off.

A bang of regret fills him.

_Why are you so…like this?_

* * *

"Is this where you go to everyday?"

Phil and Jeff are in H&M, Jeff looking at skirts with various men staring at him and Jeff nods his head. "Oh yes, I love coming here. Come on. Let's get you your own clothes, Phil!" Jeff pulls out a green top and pulls it against Phil's chest, scanning it, "no. No. You look like a tree, Philly."

Phil stands next to Jeff, looking through articles of clothing.

"So, any advice for what should I wear?"

Jeff stares at Phil and then nods his head. "Yeah, there are major things you have to learn, Phil. I know that you've been living on the streets so I'll forgive you for not knowing these things. Consider yourself lucky."

Phil giggles. "Okay…so what should I learn, oh mighty Jeff?"

"Your hair's still growing, barely, and since you're eating more, it's glowing nicely. Sadly, I like your hair just at your shoulders so I'll take you for a cut every four weeks and we need to switch shampoos and get a hair treatment for you since your hair looks very dry right now. And if you insist on wearing hair extensions, don't just slap them on like tape. Okay?"

Phil digests the information then nods his head. "Kay. Anything else?"

"Oh, there's a lot more." Jeff holds onto Phil's shoulder and smirks. "I'm turn you into a model by the time I'm done with you, Phil."

"Should I be scared?"

"You should be…" Jeff looks into Phil's eyes. "Okay, I need to get you black eyeliner and silver eye shadow. A lot of green and purple, maybe even metallic blue…but no pink. Okay? Pink doesn't look good with eyes that intense. And yellow. Yellow will make due…depending on what you wear…what do you think, Phil?"

"You're right. I should be scared." Phil giggles. "I like green."

"Yeah, green is nice."

"Reminds me," Jeff twirls a strand of Phil's hair in his finger, 'you should never, by God, bleach your hair without me. I cannot let you suffer such a fashion mistake. If you're bleaching your hair, you need to see a fashion expert, need to change your entire wardrobe and make up."

"I'm not bleaching my hair. That's final."

"You're just saying that to avoid me dragging you around, no?"

Phil nods his head. "Is it that obvious?"

Jeff laughs and nods his head. "I don't blame you. Matty's the same way when I tell him that I want to go shopping. Usually, he says no. And—oh, Phil," Jeff pulls out a pair of underwear from the men's section, 'this is very tasteful, no?"

"Jeff!" Phil's cheeks turn pink.

"Oh, come on, try it on!"

"No!"

"For me?"

"No!"

Jeff holds onto Phil's arm and drags him to the stall anyways, throwing Phil and the piece of clothing inside, shutting the door. "Sorry, Phil, I didn't hear you complaining."

"Jeff, I will look horrible!"

"I don't make that type of mistake! I know what's good on you and what's not. The only few differences between you and Matt is that you're thinner and have olive eyes."

"Jeff…I'm having trouble…"

Jeff opens the door and steps inside, locking it and then looking at Phil, taking in Phil's form in the underwear, he smirks. "I love it."

Phil's cheeks go brilliant pink as he looks away, 'I don't. It bothers me."

"That's 'cause you've never worn professional underwear until now! I'm buying this. Now take it off."

"How do you take off professional underwear?"

Jeff sighs and tries to pull down the tight underwear off Phil and as Jeff slides down along with the article of clothing, his head gets buried towards Phil's ass and Jeff giggles. "Damn, this is so not the time for me to get hard."

"Jeff?"

Jeff pinches Phil's ass, causing him to grunt as he shifts and looks down at Jeff who giggles before standing up. "I'd go on but we got a lot of shopping to do! There's basically no time and Phil—?"

"Hmm?"

"Nice ass."

* * *

After shopping for about three more hours and buying enough clothing for Phil to last a lifetime and not to mention, the too much supplies of body and hair care products, Jeff stops towards their final destination.

Phil's eyes widen. "Hell no!"

"You're getting out of this car right now, Brooks and you're following me, understand? I'm doing this because I care."

A salon.

That's the last thing Phil wants to see.

In moment's time, Phil's sitting down as his hair's being snipped and Jeff is instructing the woman before turning to Phil. "I just need to give you some shape. I like your hair too but it's so…shapeless."

Jeff's eyes trail up and down Phil's body. "And…"

"Oh no."

"Oh yes."

It's only after moments after the lady's done with Phil's hair and Jeff runs his hand through the as he'd guessed dry hair, but he'd fix that soon enough and Jeff drags Phil towards a stall, standing beside him.

"Okay…so you have sensitive skin, no? If you feel any pain, just hold onto my hand."

Jeff pulls out his hand towards Phil's as they wax Phil's legs. And when she starts, his hand instantly grips tight onto Jeff's. "I swear…this isn't necessary…"

"I like the length of your legs and the feminineness of it. Shut up and take it like a man!"

"A man who now has a makeup bag."

"Phil!"

"Owie!"

"She's almost done!" Jeff explains, sitting down and letting Phil grind his hand into pieces. "Let's talk. That'll ease your pain."

"Fine."

"You're gonna be wrestling with some pretty mean people but I know a lot of them that are sweet. I know you're gonna be amazing friends with a guy named Evan Bourne. Me, you, Evan and John should go out! I mean…like hang out. Watch a movie…"

"I thought you were gonna throw a party tonight."

"We are!" Jeff smiles his too warm too sweet smile. "I know Matt won't let you around but I'll keep you company."

"Don't you just love parties?"

"I do. But you're my friend." Jeff's smile turns sweeter. "Besides, I can finish making you into a model. And get up, Phil. We need to go home and…I just have bought the cutest thing for you to wear!"

"You are such a girl."

"You are too. I got you makeup!"

The two skip off towards the car, Phil's just happy to be leaving while Jeff has other plans for the straightedge vixen…

* * *

"Stop moving, Phil!"

Jeff's standing in the shower, scrubbing the skin of Phil's back while Phil shifts around and Jeff sighs, holding onto Phil's shoulder. "There. Done. Finally." Jeff puts the object down and looks at Phil. "There, touchable smooth skin."

Phil giggles.

"I'd fuck you but I'm so damn tired."

"Amen."

Phil remembers Matt and he can already hear the beat of the music while Jeff smirks. "Come on, I wanna show you something…"

* * *

"NO!"

"Come on, Philly, please!"

"NO! I look like an idiot!"

"SHOW ME!"

Phil steps out of the bathroom, now in a very tight, very lacy, very show off black dress with pink ribbons and white lace, his hair adorned by a headband with cat ears and black gloves and Jeff smiles, wearing identical clothes to Phil but instead of gloves, he had a cat nose. "You're joking, right, Philly? You look amazing! My feline friend!"

Phil flushes and looks into the mirror and twirls around. "Tight dress."

"I know. I bought it a size too small 'cause I like tight stuff and show off that perfect skin. You went through all that torture and you're not showing off? What kind of an idiot are you?"

Phil shakes his head, a grin smeared across his face.

Matt steps inside of the room, 'Jeff, keep Phil—"his eyes go up and down Phil and Jeff's clothing. "You two are going to bring the death of me…"

Jeff flashes two tiny white papers. "Remember when I went through those last two boring poem reading sessions with you? You owe me!"

Matt sighs. "I hate you."

"I love you, too, Matty," Jeff smiles and Matt steps out, shutting the door behind him while Jeff giggles and looks at Phil. "There's this one system with Matt. If I do things like go to poetry readings with him or do a chore I don't normally do, like clean the attic or basement, then I get a slip that says that I have one thing I can do. Usually, it's dressing up so…"

Phil holds onto his head. "You are one odd family."

"I know but you love us anyways."

A knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Jeff asks.

"It's Randy Orton!"

"Does Matty know you're upstairs?"

"No."

"Okay, come in!"

Randy steps inside and his eyes are right away glued to Phil, 'whose your insanely hot friend, Jeff?"

"Fuck off, Randy, he's my brother."

Oh right, the WWE thing.

"How old?"

"Thirty one."

"Hardy twins!" A moment later, Randy's 'mannequins' as known by the WWE universe walk inside, Cody and Ted, both dressed to match in black and when both of them look at Phil and Jeff, eyes trailing.

Randy chuckles, looking from Cody and Ted, to Phil and Jeff. "Hey, boys, I'm trading you! I'll have these two instead!"

"Hey!" Cody exclaims. "Not fair!"

"Yeah!" Ted agrees.

They both cross their arms across their chest, with the same angry look and Phil laughs. "Are they always this way?"

Jeff nods his head. "Just wait until we got to McDonald's. They will put down their food at the same time, drink the same time, wipe their mouths the same time…it's almost like they both have the same mind."

"We don't!" Ted and Cody both chime in.

"See?" Jeff giggles. "Randy, I know that look on your face. Sorry, you're not getting lucky tonight with either of us."

"Oh, rebellious princesses, aren't we?"

"Sexy rebellious princesses." Jeff corrects him, holding onto Phil's shoulder and bringing him close. "He's going to join the WWE."

"He doesn't seem the wrestling type."

"Neither did I when I first came in."

"You still don't look like it."

"Hey!"

When they hear the door being opened, Randy takes Jeff's hand and runs towards the bathroom door, Ted and Cody hiding under the bed while Phil takes the nearest thing towards him, the radio and opens it to a song while Matt opens the door. "Hey," Matt starts, sitting down besides Phil. "Sorry for being so…you know—an ass earlier."

Phil shakes his head. "It's okay." It isn't but he doesn't want Matt to stay in any longer.

"The fact is…" Matt pulls Phil towards his lap, running his hand through his side, 'I don't like anything happening to you down there. They get drunk and they bed you and—"

"They get an STD because of me," Phil whispers.

"No, no, then you'll get hurt…and I don't want you to get hurt."

"Prove it." With eyes shining too sadly, Matt takes Phil's chin and leans down to kiss him, Phil groans into that kiss but he pulls away. _What about Jeff? No, I can't do this._ "Matt, I can't—"

Before Matt can react, he hears something crash down into the bathroom and trying to be shushed whispers as Matt pushes Phil off his lap and opens the door of the bathroom to find Randy and Jeff onto the floor, 'hey, Matty…it's not what it looks like…"

Matt's head is about to explode. "Jeffery. Nero. Hardy."

"It's not what it looks like! Honest!"

"I don't want to hear it! You know you're not supposed to hook up with that horndog, all he wants to do is get into your pants-"

"I'm wearing a dress-"

"JEFF!" Matt twists to see Ted and Cody trying to leave the room, 'and you two…" then his eyes go towards Phil's eyes, filled with sorrow. "You tell me that I don't trust you! It's because I can't trust you! You're just a kinky slut, no?"

"Matt!" Phil screams in desperation as he watches Matt walk out of the room, leaving Phil there, in shambles. And like lifeless children, Phil and Jeff just stare, waiting for a word…but nothing fills the air. _Nothing_.

* * *

**X3. I like doing this. I can make huge chapters with no problem.**

**Anyways… reviews are much appreciated, my lovelies. **

**X Sam.**


	5. Chapter Four: Sneaky Little Ones

**Long time no see? Awww...let me make it up to you with a chappie! I don't know if this is as big as mah others but...**

* * *

+**ChapterFour**:_SneakyLittleOnes_

* * *

Phil wakes up to the sound of something falling and when he opens his eyes, he sees that it's a gold holder that's fallen and woken him from sleep. He's still in yesterday's cat clothing and he looks at his bed to see that clothes are already available for him, black skinny jeans and a sleeveless green t-shirt with a purple open vest over it and he looks back at Jeff before shaking his head and going to shower. The room is dark and as soon as Phil goes into the bathroom, he hears Jeff flicker the switch on. Apparently, Jeff doesn't like the dark. Phil steps into the shower and bathes into the searing cold water, scrubbing the skin as Jeff has done and then walking over to wear his clothing, finding a pair of underwear wedged between the shirt and pants.

After dressing up, Phil feels slightly uninvited to walk outside and find Jeff's latest project and when he steps out, he sees that Jeff has the entire room painted with pink paint and his eyes widen. "How did you do this so fast?"

Jeff laughs. "I did this last night when you were sleeping, Phil. Paint's drying."

Phil shakes his head and sits on the bed, taking in the fact that Jeff's wearing the exact same thing, except exchanging colors, faded blue jeans, green vest, red t-shirt, the colors are peeking underneath the coat he's wearing that's now covered in pink. Jeff drapes the coat on the bed and looks around, admiring the pastel pink color that covered the used to be all white walls. Phil, on the other hand, feels like Paris Hilton, with the golden decorations that Jeff's put up the room, oversized golden mirror, white frames around, wall art of red roses and a bunch of pictures of wrestlers, Phil guesses. Jeff points towards one picture of a thin black haired wrestler, 'this is Evan Bourne."

Phil stands there, looking straight at the picture and then nods his head. Then Jeff points to another picture, 'this…this is my best friend, John Morrison."

Phil squints to see the sparkles that are on his pants and the cross shape that's on his sunglasses then laughs. "He's so…sparkly. So…your type."

Jeff wiggles around his eyebrows and nods. "Yeah, though he found it hard to believe that I'd fucked Orton."

"You-"

Jeff puts a finger on Phil's lips, 'don't tell my brother that we did! He's gonna butcher me then cremate me and then cremate my ashes too! Matty is just too overprotective!"

Phil nods his head. "Your secret's safe with me."

"Good, 'cause I invited him over…and I need you to stay with Ted and Cody, just hang out for a bit, they're going to go out to a restaurant for some Lunch. I'll call you when we're done." Jeff's eyes are begging and Phil sighs before he nods his head.

"Does that mean that there's…nothing between us?"

Jeff just stares at him, 'there is something between us but you know love, just sex and kisses, it doesn't matter if I have it with you or Randy."

Phil nods his head in agreement, 'yeah…true. Guess so."

"Are you disappointed, Phil?"

"No, I just thought I was gonna have a real relationship for once."

Jeff sighs and holds onto Phil's shoulder, 'real relationships are hard to control, you know? They're very…tricky. You'll end up crying over a stupid fight. You have to commit to him and him only. It's hard. So…I play the field, flirt, and kiss, fuck…whatever. It's just 'cause I want to avoid being hurt. Who needs to settle down and find a husband? There's still the entire world made for me."

Phil nods his head, 'yeah, I guess you're right."

"Besides, when you spend time with Ted and Cody and see how their relationship is, you'll see that it's hard to control, 'Jeff kisses Phil, a quick peak on the lips before he turns to the mirror, staring at his figure then dancing around before giggling.

For a while, Jeff waits for Randy and Phil waits for Ted and Cody, and when a pebble hits the window, Jeff looks past it and opens the door, stepping down a ladder that has been pulled up and Phil locks the door before he goes downstairs, both of them giggling and walking off as Randy puts the ladder back in place. Randy and Jeff just run off, laughing while Phil walks off with Ted and Cody.

* * *

"I didn't do nothing!"

"Cody!"

"Teddy, I swear!"

Phil's eyes dart from Ted and Cody, who are fighting about who knows what and he finally nods his head, 'yeah, Jeff, no real relationships. I get it." He hits his head on the table and he hears his phone ringing.

Phil takes the sparkly phone that Jeff insisted on buying and presses the metallic blue object towards his ear, 'hello?"

"Hey…" Jeff's breathless voice barely speaks out, panting, 'how are you three doing?"

"They're fighting and I finished eating…I don't know, three hours ago. Where in hell's name are you two?"

"Randy's…" a grunt escapes his lips. "Hotel room."

"Oh great, my best friend is having sex with Randy Orton and I'm sitting here with these two that are fighting about God knows what, 'Phil sighs and then looks down at his shoes then his thoughts flash towards Matt and nervousness pools around his heart.

"What can you do? I didn't want it."

"You sound like you're having the worst time of your life, 'Phil sarcastically spews out. "How is Randy even letting you call?"

"He hates me calling but I won't let him finish if he won't let me so…" a moan escapes Jeff's lips and he shuts the phone, Phil buries his head in his arms before he hears Ted and Cody suggest, 'you know, we can take you home."

"Would you?" Phil's eyes enlighten. "I'd like to."

Ted stands up, 'and you're not driving Cody."

"I am!"

"You can't drive nothing!"

Phil hits his head towards the table, 'oh God, what did I do to deserve this type of torture…?"

* * *

By the time that he's at the house, he climbs up the ladder again and he opens the light only to face Matt Hardy and he steps back, feeling nervous, laughing at the angry faced Matt staring at him. He steps back as Matt presses Phil towards the wall, 'where. Is. He?" Matt says, thick and angry.

Phil gulps. "I…don't-"

Matt's eyes glow darkly. "You better tell me or I'll destroy both of you."

Phil gulps down nervously, 'you just have to do that. I'm not telling you." There's more confidence in his eyes as Matt pulls him towards the bed and pins him down, making Phil squirm and fidget around, 'let go of me, Matt!"

"Tell me where is Jeff! Or I'll make you talk!"

"I won't tell you!"

"Seriously, you're a bad influence on my Jeff!" Matt steps back, shaking his head. "You're making him do things that he won't normally do!"

"You're the one that's blind!" Phil stands up, staring deep into Matt's eyes, 'you're the one that thinks that Jeff's all innocent! He's far from that and I didn't do anything. If anything, he's influencing me."

"Oh, I so believe you!"

Phil twirls, moving away from Matt but Matt holds onto his arm, 'I'm not done with you, Phil."

Phil looks back at Matt and stares into those eyes, those eyes that are glowing in this darkened color that isn't his beautiful shade...wait, beautiful? Phil knows. Phil can see it. That's why he's staring this way.

"Matt, do you like me?"

"That's not the point! The point is 'you're influencing my Jeff and I won't let you do it!"

Phil sucks in a breath and stares into Matt's eyes and Matt pushes Phil towards the bed once more, sitting beside him and Matt buries his head into his hands, 'what am I going to do to you? You won't listen. You both won't. I'm trying to protect you. I'm not just someone who gives off rules that he doesn't follow half the time...Phil, I follow these rules, too and it's not that hard. But still, you both refuse to listen. You both want freedom you already have. If he wanted to go off to go bang someone, at least let him warn me. Maybe I won't said yes-"

"It's Orton," Phil finally gives in. "Randy Orton."

Matt' eyes boil with angry and he grabs onto the strap of Phil's vest and pushes him towards him, both of their eyes staring at each other as Matt shakes Phil continously. "You don't mean that, do you? He's not banging Orton, is he?!" Phil gulps down before nodding his head.

"He...is." _I'm sorry, Jeff. I'm so damn sorry._

"Oh shit," Matt stands up and walks towards the phone, trying to call Jeff but he won't answer (for too obvious reasons) and he slams the phone towards him and looks back at Phil before he nods his head at him. "Thanks for telling me. When that little brat comes back, he's going to get it."

Phil swallows, feeling guilt build up in every particle of his body.

* * *

Phil can't hear any screaming anymore as he lays in his room.

Jeff's grounded, that he can tell for sure, for something around two to three months but he can't be certain. Jeff steps into the room, furiously, dressed into black clothing, a simple t-shirt and pants, and then he walks towards Phil, sitting down beside him and their identical clothing don't even ause them anymore. Phil rests his head on his pants while Jeff takes a quick breath of air. "Why did you tell him?"

"I was confused."

"Phil..." Jeff's eyes are glowing in an over the edge color. "Don't you even feel sorry?"

"I do!"

"You do a bad job of pretending."

Phil really does feel guilty, the knotted acid in his stomach that refuses to leave his stomach and the scene replays, over and over, again and again, until his head's begging for it to stop, but when he catches a glimpse of his face in the mirror, the face that's always the same and he sighs softly.

"Phil, just please, don't take his side. They all take his side. Every one of my past friends, 'Jeff points towards a picture of a girl and him on the wall, 'that's Britt. She turned her back on me after a fight. She's been trying to be friendly but I know that she's really just in it so she can tell Matt about what happened and who did what and where did we go. So I don't trust her. And that's Julie." He points to a brunette. "She used to also be a good girl then there was this one time when I told her that I think her earrings are overrated. She walked off to the bathroom and never came back. She told Matt that I hit her, which I didn't and I denied it. Matt played along and then insulted her in the car. He was always on my side even if my girls always turned out to be on his side. Phil, don't turn on me."

Phil hugs Jeff, 'come on, Jeffy. You know I'd never turn on you."

Jeff pushes him off and huffs before shaking his head. "You should prove it to me. I just don't easily believe you guys. I want--_need_--to know that you're on my side-"

Phil just stares at Jeff momentarily before nodding his head, understanding Jeff's reasons before he hears the sound of Matt walking inside and handing both a tray of sandwiches for lunch, the cheese filling peeking out from underneath the bread and Jeff watches as Phil takes off the crust and then eats it and Jeff giggles. "You're that type that takes off the crust."

Matt walks off without a sound, like he has for days. Phil's beginning to miss him talking to him. Even if it's just an order.

The moment that Matt goes out of the room, shuts the door behind him, Jeff leans into Phil for a kiss and it's not simple either, it's filled with passion and heat, their tongues entangle and Jeff climbs on top of Phil, making Phil's skin turn hot and feverish and Jeff brings the also heated skin towards Phil's, the friction unbelievable, the feel of their heated skins against each other, sticking and hard to seperate. Phil feels Jeff's hands playing with Phil's pants, running a hand down Phil's thigh, to feel the fabric and then slapping Phil's ass just to tease him for a moment which causes him to giggle in a kiss as they part. Jeff goes back to kissing, except this time, he starts kissing Phil's neck, biting and nibbling onto Phil, tasting the salty, unique taste of Phil.

It isn't long before Jeff unzips Phil's pants and Phil feels the air brush against the most intimate part of him, causing him to shiver. Phil then uses his hands to feel up Jeff's pants, feeling the already soft skin underneath and when he'd gotten towards Jeff's cock, he brushes a hand against the fabric to feel the hard organ, causing Jeff to slap Phil's ass again. Jeff takes off his own pants, "if you do it, God knows how long we'll stay at this."

Then he drops the pants from his figure so that Phil can see that he's wearing girl panties underneath, a cute polka dotted white underwear and his cock is basically suffocating underneath. This causes Phil to giggle as Jeff tackles him down to the bed with kisses, showering him all over his body before he takes off Phil's own pants completely, feeling both of their skin, softly brushing as Jeff contiunes to kiss at each piece of flesh Phil has. After a while, Phil himself goes to kissing Jeff's neck, just to taste the skin mixed with sweat. Jeff takes off Phil's t-shirt to see that it's toned, probably from street fights and Jeff watches as Phil takes off Jeff's own shirt, tossing it somewhere along Phil's pants, while both of their lips meet once more.

Phil feels Jeff's cock poking at Phil's thigh and it isn't long before Phil wraps his own legs around Jeff's waist, both of their cocks crashing poking at each other's skin, causing Jeff to let out a much held back moan. Jeff then pins Phil's hands towards the bed, topping off him again while Phil's legs still remain wrapped up around Jeff and then Jeff rolls around, causing them both to be sprayed on the bed. Jeff looks at Phil's ass, that's now sticking out and Phil feels his cock press against the matress. Jeff smirks, going to top off Phil again, slapping his ass to cause Phil to giggle and moan both at once, practically choking to do both. Jeff then slowly slides into Phil, not letting Phil take all of him in and that causes Phil to grip on the sheets. "Jeff, just do it!"

"Beg for me."

Phil sighs, panting. "Jeff, fuck me."

"I can't hear you."

Phil buries his head into the bed, 'Jeff, fucking put your thick cock in my tight ass!"

"And that's the way to say it, 'Jeff then shoves his entire cock into Phil's ass, causing Phil to start panting furiously and without warning, he slides out of Phil and to tease him, he sticks his finger inside.

"JEFF! I don't want your fucking finger! I want you to fuck me!"

"Yes, I know. You don't have to scream. You should be glad this room's soundproof." Phil continues to pant as Jeff slides in him again, feeling the tightness of ass suffocate his cock and Phil feels him sliding in and out, slowly, so very slowly and all of a sudden, his pace fastens and he feels as if he's tearing apart with warmth and pleasure. "Jeff," Jeff already knows that's a signal to the fact that Phil will cum soon and he just nods his head to himself before he sees Phil's cum soak the sheets, Phil's suffocated cock finally spilling and after a few more thrusts, Jeff feels his own release coming. Fluid burning warmth into Phil as Jeff rolls them around again, causing both of them to be sprayed on the bed. Both panting furiously, hearts beating too loudly as Jeff stares at Phil, smirking. "And that's the way you do it."

"Shut up, Jeff."

Both start giggling as Phil presses his head against Jeff's shoulder. "Jeff, why did we do this?"

Jeff sighs. "Because...I don't know..."

"Am I just a toy to you?"

"No...actually, you're more than that, 'Jeff stares into Phil's eyes then leans down to kiss Phil's cheek.

"Maybe a real relationship woun't be so bad."

Jeff nods his head, finally accepting and digesting the information. "Maybe so, 'he hugs Phil tightly and watches him as he falls asleep. Now, he's complete and utterly asleep. No sounds coming from his mouth. Jeff runs his hand through Phil's hair, remembering the last real relationship he's had and that causes him to sigh, 'God help me with Phil. Please. I don't want to hurt him...and I don't want him to hurt me..." Jeff presses his head against Phil's. "Is that so much to ask, God? Why can't I have a happy ending to a sad story? Just please, make Phil mine. Make me Phil's...I want to be bonded eternally with someone. I wanted to have someone. Be with him. Marry him. Just please. Let him be the one."

* * *

**This was mostly bad sex & sneaking outs. XD. Review??**

**X Sam.**


	6. Chapter Five: ScareTearDare

**To **_**MagicallyMalicious**_**, not to worry, the ChipMUNK action will start…I just don't know when. Yeah, there is a lot of Junk around but when it stops, it'll stop drastically. XP. **

* * *

**+ChapterFive**:_ScareTearDare_

* * *

Phil wakes up, feeling nausea roll off his stomach. He stands up and rushes to the bathroom, remembering the feeling before throwing up in the toilet, feeling the acid burn his throat. He hears Matt opening the door of his room and walking inside. "What in hell's name—?"

Matt watches as Phil continues to vomit violently, his throat burning so badly that he isn't able to breathe. Matt walks over to him and shakes his head, lifting his cheek, to feel the hot skin underneath, 'you have a fever and a rash and you're vomiting. Let's go to the hospital, Phil."

"No, I'll be fine." Phil insists, looking back down onto his neck, seeing that in fact there's a rash forming against the skin.

"No, you'll come with me and I'm taking you to the hospital whether you like it or not."

Jeff walks in on them and Matt stares at his brother for a moment, telling him to open the car while Jeff walks over towards Phil and helping him stand up, supporting him while Matt rushes outside towards the car and Jeff tries to slowly quicken the pace of pulling Phil alongside of him.

The car ride is silent and Matt buys them breakfast quickly along the way.

Jeff doesn't eat much of his and neither does Phil while Matt shakes his head at them. "I can understand Phil not eating but Jeff…?"

"I'm effected by him not eating, 'Jeff wraps an arm around Phil's shoulder, pressing his hot skin against his own.

Matt shakes his head and he speeds his pace up, as usual, speeding all too much but he can't help it and now, at the hospital, he opens the door for them and struggles to push Phil towards the room. It isn't long until they're all crammed into a tiny room with a Doctor who takes various blood tests on Phil and now, waiting for the results, Phil stares up at the ceiling.

Jeff walks over to him and runs his hand through it.

"Jeff, stop spoiling him." Matt sighs.

"He's sick, Matty. I can't help it."

The Doctor returns with a sad smile on his face, staring between Phil, Jeff and Matt. "Phil has HIV."

"WHAT?!" Matt blows up, staring back between Jeff and Phil, walking over to Phil and staring at him. "You don't trust me, he says. You don't just have any STD—you have HI-fucking-V! Whoa, good work, Phil…good damn work…"

Phil looks down, ashamed, biting down his lower lip.

"And you-"Matt's cut by Jeff.

"Matt! Stop! He got it from me!"

Matt's eyes widen as he stares up at Jeff who rolls up his sleeve to uncover his own rash, the color identical to Phil's and he touches Matt's arm, making Matt flinch at the realization. "He fucked you, didn't he?"

"No, Matt. I fucked him. I forgot to use protection. It was totally heat of the moment. You're not supposed to be yelling at him. You're supposed to be yelling at me."

Phil stares up at Jeff, eyes widened, at Jeff's defense. "T-thank you." For what?

Jeff smiles back and hugs Phil, hot skin touching hot skin, Jeff kisses Phil's forehead, 'no problem, baby."

"So let me get this straight?" Matt blinks harshly. "You're together with a homeless man who we helped just because I was sorry for him?!"

"Matt-"

"JEFF!" Matt exclaims, staring back between the two, between green eyes and olive eyes, 'look. I'm throwing him outside! I swear! What in hell's name?! Jeff!"

"You're scaring him, Matty."

"And he claims that he doesn't want to be treated like a puppy dog when he is one." Matt stares deep into Phil's eyes, 'you know, before you, stuff like this didn't happen. You ruined us."

Phil just stares down. "Just leave me alone." His voice cracks.

"Matt, don't be so rude! He's my boyfriend!"

"He's only your boyfriend because you feel sorry for him too, don't you?" Matt snaps at him, staring deep into Jeff's soft eyes.

"Matt, sorry, I'm not a photocopy of you. I care about him. I like him. I don't wanna hurt him. Phil's different. There's something so very unique about him…and may I remind you, you kissed him." Jeff smirks at the end.

"That wasn't a real kiss! I didn't mean to let my lips touch with his!"

"Oh, really?" Jeff raises an eyebrow. "You willingly kissed him! It took him by surprise. You just don't want to be with him because he's in a status below us. It's the fact that he doesn't have a house or anything…that he didn't go to school or whatever, that doesn't matter to me, Matty. I like Phil. And I suggest you grow up."

Jeff helps Phil up. "Come on, we're leaving, Pip." He kisses Phil's nose and walks out with him, hand in hand.

* * *

A shadow walks into the darkness.

Staring into the hospital scene.

A smirk.

"Oh, Phil, happy, aren't you? We'll change that…"

* * *

That night, Phil walks into the ring for the first time.

Jeff makes sure his looks is perfectly accessorized, black and yellow boots, along with yellow trunks with pink stars across a white line, a black t-shirt with CM Punk written on the back. He's ready.

Jeff avoids Matt at all costs, can't look into his eyes at all…

He stops when he sees John Morrison and Evan Bourne standing by the doorway. "Jeffro!" John exclaims, engulfing his friend in a hug then he turns to Phil. "New wrestler?"

"Yeah, meet Phil Hardy." Jeff smirks at the end.

"So how's things going with Randy Orton…?" John says, remembering the possessiveness of Randy around Jeff.

"He's fine, I guess. Though I broke it off."

"Bad move."

"Well, I don't care. I always tell him that if I fuck him, there are no strings attached, no?" Jeff reminds John.

"But it's Randy Orton." John protests.

"Point taken." Jeff smiles as he walks towards the high-flying superstar, 'Evan! I got a new friend for you! Evan, Phil. Phil, Evan."

Evan looks at him, 'hello…"

"Evan, shy, meet Phil, confident and shy at the same time." Jeff grins, pushing Phil towards Evan, both bodies bumping and blushes creep against their cheeks.

"Sorry." Phil smiles at him.

"It's okay." Evan responds.

"See? They're gonna get along great!" Jeff says, excitedly. "Phil…come with me for a moment…"

Phil nods towards Jeff who pushes him back into his locker room, shutting the door behind him and walking towards Phil, pressing his lips against his own, tongues entangling in a mess, before Phil pulls off, breathless. "Jeff…"

Jeff lifts Phil's chin again and kisses him once more, letting his tongue explore Phil's mouth and they don't even hear the door cracking to reveal none other than Randy standing there with wide eyes. "Jeff?!"

Jeff pulls off, staring at Randy. He's fucked up Phil's job on the first day.

Randy blinks, trying to register what's happening. "Did you just kiss your brother?" Randy asks.

Jeff silently nods his head.

"Fuck."

"Look, just…" Jeff can't take covering up for anyone anymore and runs off, letting Phil walk off after him but Jeff's silhouette isn't seen after a while as he fades into the darkness outside.

"JEFF!"

Matt rushes towards Phil. "What happened?"

"Jeff…just ran off. Randy woke in on me and Jeff making out and—since with the whole Hardy cover you had for me, he just ran off…I guess he couldn't take being embarrassed like that in front of Randy."

"Fuck, 'Matt curses, 'Jeff?"

He tries calling Jeff on his cell but he won't pick up and just as Matt suggests just going home, claiming that Jeff will calm down then come back, Phil stares at him, blinking rapidly. "Matt…you don't understand! I know something's gonna happen…I can just feel it…"

"Let's just go home. He'll be okay."

Phil just nods towards Matt. "Fine."

* * *

Jeff stops when he thinks he's run enough, pressing himself against a tree. He tries to piece together the pieces of the embarrassing night before deciding to walk back home. Just as he's about to move away, he drops his bracelet. Leaning down to pick it up, a hand wraps around Jeff's waist.

"_Hola, querido…"_ (1).

* * *

**(1) it means **_**hello, darling**_** in Spanish.**

**Um… review?? I would've added more but I like the suspense.  
**

**X Sam.**


	7. Chapter Six: Like An Angel

**We will know the shadow! **_**Matt: …JEFFEH!**_** Seriously, mah Mattymuse makes it hard for meh to not turn this into Hardycest. XD. I am so behind on some of mah fics. XP. I still update a lot, no? Let's see, another chapter, lovelies! I am on a roll! X3. Enough of mah weird rambling, let's get to the ficcy. More of mah weird rambling at the end of this chappie. **

**Oh, one more thing, in response to **_**NeroAnne**_**, well, pretty much. I'm trying to build it up to the storyline that we have now. You know, Jeff and Matt are against Phil…Mark's after him…that sorta thing. XD. *KIZZ* X3.**

* * *

**ChapterSix**:_LikeAnAngel_

* * *

Jeff stops when he thinks he's run enough, pressing himself against a tree. He tries to piece together the pieces of the embarrassing night before deciding to walk back home. Just as he's about to move away, he drops his bracelet. Leaning down to pick it up, a hand wraps around Jeff's waist.

"_Hola, querido…"_

Jeff feels a shiver run down his spine. That voice…he thinks he knows that voice…he turns his head around to see Verrel Guerrero's face.

"Oh, you."

Jeff feels Verrel grab onto his arm, the strong man pushing Jeff towards him, and Verrel's little friend, his bodyguard, Daquan, smirks at Jeff, taking his hand and pressing him against the tree. Verrel runs his hand down Jeff's pants, feeling the silk of Jeff's underwear, Jeff lets out a whimper.

"See, Jeff, you don't make me do this, _querido_." That Spanish accent thick, as thick as honey. "But you're on Phil's side and anyone on Phil's side…"

Verrel takes a twig from the floor, breaking it quickly, 'this happens."

Before Jeff can respond, Daquan swings his fist towards Jeff's face, thick muscle collecting with his soft face until Jeff feels the pain burn against his skin. Another whimper escapes his throat. "Let go of me!"

"Sorry, querido, but this must happen, no?"

"Shut up! LET GO OF ME!" Jeff shouts, trying to break from Daquan's arms, a soft slurred whimper falls from his lips again. Tears burning in the corners of his eyes. "Let go! Let go!"

"You saw Phil the other day at the party?"

_They find Phil on the ground, with blood seeping out of every pore of his body, his breathing is shallow…_

"That is nothing compared what we're going to do to you, querido." Verrel watches as Daquan huddles Jeff up in his arms, almost crushing him as Verrel walks off and Daquan follows. "Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you gotta learn that right now, you're in my hands and I can break you, pamper you…do whatever I want with you." Verrel's eyes lock with Jeff's. "And right now, you're nothing more than a fighter in the Hole."

The Hole is a place not too far away from this world. A chained alley in which people gather up to see street fights, usually with young children and teens against young adults and older, Jeff feels a lump rises in his throat before he swallows. "No…Verrel…" but he doesn't listen to Jeff's pleas as he guides Daquan back to their 'home'.

* * *

It's morning.

Matt lays on top of the couch, Phil on top of him, both of their eyes still resisting sleep as they ponder on their thoughts. Phil lets out a soft whimper, 'this is all my fucking fault…" he says, burying his face into Matt's back. "If…if I wasn't in the picture…that wouldn't have happened…if-if-"

Matt stares at him. "You're right. If you weren't in the picture, this wouldn't have happened! He could be dead for all I know! Thanks to you!" Matt snaps, causing Phil to bury his head deeper into Matt's scent, trying to forget.

"Matt…"

"Phil," Matt sits up and turns around to face Phil, running his finger down Phil's face. "God, I'm fucking sorry for doing that to you. Mistreating you. I know I'm not perfect but Jeff…I'm just so scared for him, you know? He's the only thing I have left…if I lose him…"

Phil buries his head into Matt's chest and Matt holds onto the broken boy, running his hand down Phil's back. "Dammit. God, I just…I'm calling the police, okay?"

"I already did, 'Phil's voice is broken now. "They didn't answer. I gave them your address and his picture when you fell asleep and they just didn't do anything about it. They say they'll look but I doubt they even started looking."

Matt puts his head in his hands, 'let's just hope for the best."

Now, it's Phil's turn to feel blood boil in his veins. "Hope?! I'm not going to sit around here being all depressed while my only friend could be God knows where! I'm not sitting here hoping, I'm going out there and trying to find him…and if he's dead…I won't stop until there's a body. I swear. If there's hope that he's still alive, I'm going off to find him. I don't care what you think, fine?!"

Matt stands up, his eyes stern as he nods his head. "I'm coming with. Where do you suggest we look first?"

* * *

"Hello, little, little mouse."

Daquan stands at Jeff's little room, a cell that barely fits him and the others that are with him, Jeff stares at Daquan's face, glaring at him as Daquan's hand goes towards Jeff's neck and he tears off Jeff's necklace, letting the silver dig against the skin, Daquan smirks as he brings the pure silver close to him. "You're loaded with money, aren't you?"

"Shut up and give me back Matt's necklace!"

Daquan plays with the necklace, trailing a finger over Matt, before he smirks and looks back at Jeff. "You think your brother's coming for you?"

"Honestly, I think he's sitting at home, waiting for the police to call or something…" Jeff knows that Matt isn't the type to get up and look around. He wouldn't know where but Jeff feels content knowing that Matt at least cares for him.

Daquan laughs. "I like you kid. Too bad we gotta get you in one of those fights over there." He opens up the cell and walks towards Jeff, tearing off Jeff's pants, exposing him in his panties, Jeff's mouth drops as Daquan tugs at his top, tearing it off as well, Jeff's chest glistens in the dull light. "Take it off before I rip it off."

Jeff nods his head and pulls off his underwear, letting teardrops fall from his face, as his bare ass presses against the cold floor. "You see kid, you're in the Hole right now. There isn't a way out of here. You live here like a poor kid. You got nothing and you're leaving with nothing, got it?"

Jeff just stares at him and takes a breath, feeling acid burn against his throat. "Please, just don't do this to me…just let me see my brother…just one call…? Please?"

Daquan laughs, closing his cell and walking off, leaving Jeff exposed and naked on the floor. His head pressing against the cold wall as he runs his hand down the skin of his legs, trying to feel some type of warmth.

"Hey, kid, come over here."

The man at the end of the cell calls him. Jeff crawls over towards the filthy clothing man as he strips off his shirt and covers Jeff's body and Jeff's body shakes, looking at the man standing. "What's your name?" Jeff asks.

"Me? I'm Hunter."

"Hunter?" Jeff repeats. "Why are you here? I thought you quit wrestling a long time ago." He can know see in the faint light, trying to squint to see the face and he finally realizes that behind the dust, there he is, Hunter.

"Jeff, that guy is pure evil…he wants to take over the industry so I tried to stop him…but that didn't work then discovered the Hole and he made sure that he won't stop from getting here to the top. That's why they have fighters. They want it to be dirty-fighting with blood and alcohol and…damn, it's a nightmare."

Jeff's eyes widen. "Alcohol in the ring?"

"Some contestants bring their own mixture of alcohol, and since alcohol is acidic, they smother the other guy's cuts with it…hurts damn bad. Usually, that ends the match."

Jeff looks down. "I don't wanna be in a match like that! It's too…too damn brutal! I don't wanna! Hunter!"

Hunter's hand go towards Jeff's chin and he lifts it, 'how's Randy?"

"Randy's Randy. He's always been that way, 'Jeff shivers, trying to wrap the piece of cloth over his bare body twice but finds it impossible to cover anything. He feels too utterly exposed. "He never changes, you know."

"Jeff, your skin's feverish."

"I got HIV from him, 'Jeff snorts, letting his hand run down his hair. "Apparently, us both sleeping with other people isn't the best thing. It just makes the disease even more sure for me to get it but now, I gave it to Phil…and Phil…" Jeff's eyes widen at the memory of the ravenette, tears pooling as they fall rapidly. "God, I'm so stupid from running off like that! If I hadn't run off, this wouldn't have happened…I could be in home right now, eating ice cream from a bowl and watching reruns of _House_."

Hunter chuckles. "I always knew you were the _House_ type."

Jeff stares at him, 'it isn't funny."

"Just rest up, kid because when they come back, they're gonna make you fight so damn hard that—"

"That?" Jeff repeats, his voice soft.

"That you might die."

Jeff's eyes widen once more, his throat dry and tears pooling once more. "It's not fucking fair! I don't wanna die! I-I-I-"

Jeff feels Hunter's arms wrap around him, holding him as Jeff sobs and cries, the pain racking through his body.

"Hey, it's gonna be alright…"

"No, no, I don't wanna die…I don't wanna fight…" Jeff protests, burying his head into Hunter's chest, letting his tears soak his skin, warmth burning against the cold skin of his chest, Jeff hears his own whimpers as he falls asleep…

* * *

After two hours of looking, they just can't find anything.

From traces of malls in which Jeff likes to be in, from cafés, to hideouts, to anything they could possibly think of, no traces of him. Phil even suggests digging in the ground and they have, near every place they think would be good enough for a burial and they're relieved they didn't find anything from that. Their desperation just strengthens their desire to look and look and now, standing at the park, Matt looks around, behind trees, under collapsed places. No, nothing until now.

"Matt! Come here!"

Matt's face tears away from the bushes and trees, running towards the distressed Phil as he holds up a necklace, 'did you drop this?"

"No, I gave this to Jeff!" Matt snatches the silver pendant from Phil's hand, inspecting it, bits and pieces of dry blood pressing against it, Matt's heart explodes. "Can we do some sort of blood test for this?"

"Yeah," Phil responds. "I know how to. Let's get back home…"

* * *

Matt watches as Phil places the silver necklace on the table, letting a few drops of some red liquid fall onto it, and another white one, Matt sees in desperation as Phil takes a bit of blood and puts it against glass, staring into it by a microscope. "Blood Type…A?"

"Jeff's blood type…is there anyway that we can now for sure it's Jeff's?"

"Yeah, a place in the lab," Phil puts the necklace in a clear plastic bag, 'we can go there now or…Matt?"

Phil snaps Matt out of his thoughts as he takes the bag from Phil's hand, looking at it, inspecting it from everyway and he sighs. "I know it's Jeff's blood. Who else could it be? Let's just…quit…this seems like he's—"

Phil slaps him at that moment, glaring at him. "No! I don't care if it's Jeff's blood besides, he can't have that deep of a cut that he's bleeding to death! I know he's out there! I can feel his presence! Understand? Now shut up and take the stupid piece of jewelry and take it to a lab so we can know more. Okay?"

Matt stares at him momentarily before nodding his head. "Fine."

Phil's voice softens. "I miss him, too, you know. He was the only person that treated me something other than a street puppy or a piece of filth. I was…someone with him…and I know…I know these streets better than anyone. I fucking lived on these streets, saw people die in these streets…trust me…please, just once, trust me, Matty…"

Matt lifts Phil's chin and looks at him in his eyes, 'please, Phil…"

Phil lets a soft smile press against his lips, 'please…" his voice is softer now. "Trust me."

Matt wraps his arms around Phil's waist, bringing him close to feel Phil's warm skin against his and he tries to find comfort in his tiny frame but Jeff's was slightly larger than Phil's, and a little fatter as well… Matt runs his hand down the petite frame of the ravenette, running his hand down Phil's hair and he buries his nose into his hair, the smell of his the smell of Jeff's shampoo, a unique mixture, 'I swear I trust you, Phil…"

* * *

**Yeah I know. Plot twist thingy. XP. Don't worry, Jeff's alright...for now. Besides, we're going to go back to the arena and Phil's rise to CM Punk and stuff later on, right now, I want you to see the importance of 'The Hole' (XPP. Can't think of a better name) 'cause they're gonna make a major come back later on. & Yeah, mah weird OC's. Daquan is a nice name...I dunnoo...& Verrel just fit everything. See? Weird rambling like I promised!**

**X Sam.**


	8. Chapter Seven: Save Me

**EDIT: Sorry, I got the wrong chappie, darlings. I wrote this for _Forbidden_. XD.**

**I just had to say this, **_**NeroAnne**_**. *WUBB/HUGZ/KIZZES* XD. But I know as many wrestlers as my mother knows. Seriously. I barely know half the Divas. Not to worry. Jeff no die. It's just the beginning of the fic. That would be bad. XPP. And yes, Jeff is fatter…by 5 pounds. Okay, now I feel like an idiot. Well, he is older, no? He has to be fatter. And Phil's been living on the streets. Leave the kid alone…there's also the fact that Jeff's observant about his weight…eh…X3. No weird rambling this time. Or did I just ramble?**

**I dunno…**

* * *

**ChapterSeven**:_SaveMe_

* * *

"Get out."

Jeff who has just eaten his breakfast, a scruff of rough dry bread that only makes his throat drier, stands up, still trying to cover himself while Hunter's hands touch onto Jeff's shoulders, leaning down to whisper into his ear, 'okay, Jeff, listen to me…I'm gonna try to get you out. Do what they tell you to do and listen to them, fine? I'm gonna let go right now, go…"

Jeff's body's shaking as he walks towards them, the cloth that he's wearing barely covers anything and the man holds onto Jeff's shoulder, demanding the cloth from him and Jeff reluctantly gives it to Daquan who smirks.

"Daquan…please…"

Daquan shakes his head as he pushes Jeff inside of the battle arena, a bunch of men staring as another opponent comes into the ring. There's nothing much there. Bottles of alcohol, some crushed, some not, and the man that's Jeff's facing, God good, he's never seen someone so big, so horrifying—

'_God, please help me. Please…'_

The man walks towards him, a smirk on his face, grabbing onto Jeff's shoulders, crushing it into pieces by just a simple gesture.

'_Matty! Phil! SOMEONE! ANYONE! Help me!'_

* * *

Daquan paces around the Hole before exiting through the door that's also being guarded by bodyguards and seeing his passkey, they let him through and now, traveling through the alley, he makes his way to the park, and finds two ravenettes talking about a boy named Jeff.

Jeff.

That's their Jeff, no?

There's no resemblance. Or is there?

"Matt! Come on, we gotta find him!"

"Where do we fucking look?! Jeff—I'm scared…I'm scared of finding him mauled under a rock or—"

"Matt…"

"_Shut up and give me back Matt's necklace!"_

No…Daquan shakes his head. It can't be. He watches as Phil takes out a silver necklace from his pocket, identical to the one he throws out yesterday in the park to be stolen, and he shakes his head.

It doesn't matter.

Matt stares at Daquan for a moment before he walks over to him, a weak smile trying to form on Daquan's face. "Daquan, my man, hey…by any chance, have you seen Jeff around lately?"

Daquan stares at him in confusion as Matt pulls out a picture of Jeff, and the bodyguard is now completely and utterly sure that the pampered brat in the picture is truly now the one that's undergoing a life-threatening battle that will kill him but he shakes his head at them. "Never seen him."

In the picture, Jeff looks more beautiful than beautiful, makes Daquan want to touch him, feel his ass…he shudders at the thought before pulling his jacket, pretending as if he feels cold.

Phil scans the necklace in his hands before looking up at Daquan's shirt, seeing a tiny diamond stuck onto his neck and it takes a person as observant as Phil to spot it, it's barely there…and now, looking back at the necklace, where the 'Matt' is dazzled by jewelry, he sees that the same sized jewel is clinging onto Daquan's shirt and with that, Phil pounces on top of Daquan.

"Hey, hey, kid! I'll break your bones! What in hell's—"

Phil tries to punch the tall man as Daquan carries Phil's light form, and Phil waves his arms and legs, trying to struggle out of his grip.

"Phil?!" Matt exclaims in horror.

"I know it, Matt! He has something to do with Jeff! He has that diamond on his shirt…I—"the next time Phil sees the spot, he realizes that the jewel must've fallen off and a blush creeps against his face as Daquan drops him and grunts, looking down at him. "Consider yourself lucky, kid. I won't pound your face into mush this time but you won't be so lucky this time…"

Daquan walks off and Matt, shocked face, turns to Phil. "What in hell's name was that about?!"

"I know he has something to do with Jeff! I know I had a bad feeling about him! I know—I saw this diamond on his shirt…it's from this necklace, Matty…I know…" Phil's in the verge of starting to sob and when he does, he breaks down badly, holding onto Matt as tears fall down his eyes. "Not emotionless…see, Matty? You can trust me…I'm hurt…I'm in pain…"

Matt wraps his arms around Phil's frame. "Oh, Phil…"

"I want Jeff! It's unfair! I know! I know! I swear I do! Trust me! Matt!" Phil's shouting every word that comes out of his mouth. "Matt…"

Matt lifts Phil's chin and looks at his eyes. "He's the only person I ever devoted to…" Phil whispers, 'he's the only person I ever thought I'd actually love. God…Matt!"

And Phil doesn't want to admit that he feel as if he's slowly taking a huge liking to Matt, too. But more than nothing, he wants Jeff back. He wants to be in Jeff's arms again, to hold him…he wants it so bad it hurts.

"Will you follow me follow Daquan?" Phil asks.

"No, Phil!" Matt turns around, breaking the embrace. "I know that Daquan has nothing to do with Jeff. Okay?!"

Phil's eyes water once more as he runs off, and Matt just realizes what he's done, closing his eyes and scanning for the ravenette.

'_Oh fuck.'_

* * *

Phil slowly tiptoes towards where Daquan is heading.

The blackened place scaring the shit out of Phil but he won't complain. He needs to and has to find Jeff before anything happens to him and now, still following, he sees as Daquan walks inside the Hole and if he thinks the alley is scary in the daylight, then he knows he'd be terrified in the moonlight.

But nothing could compare to the Hole.

Cells of people.

Horrible.

There is no one there at the entrance and as Phil makes his way towards the battle, he gasps, his eyes watering once more…

His Jeff…

Jeff lies on the floor, his head twists to look up at his opponent, the naked man's back is scraped with letters of 'worthless' written on the back because of the smashed up alcoholic bottle on the floor and as Phil runs towards Jeff, trying to help him up, the man grabs onto Phil's shoulders while he tries to help Jeff, lifting them both up and Jeff finally stirring into consciousness brightens up at the sight of Phil.

"Phil?!"

"Jeff!"

"Can we get out of this mess?" Phil asks and Jeff looks around, grabbing a busted bottle of alcohol and smashes it into his stomach, feeling too fatigue to do anything else, he collapses on the glass, groaning and grunting, tears forming into those garden green eyes and Phil helps him up, Jeff's weight on Phil's shoulder as he tries to drag Jeff, seeing that it doesn't work. Phil carries Jeff's entire weight into his arms, feeling as if he's going to make him fall and runs. He runs as fast as he cans to the entrance and pulls Jeff out, still running until he feels as if he can't run anymore, putting Jeff on the park bench.

Jeff takes a breath as Phil pulls off his shirt, wrapping it around Jeff to stop his bleeding while Jeff grabs onto Phil's shoulder. "Get me clothes. I need clothes. Bandages. We are not telling Matt about this."

Phil's eyes widen. "Why—?"

Jeff sighs. "We just won't. Our little secret." He takes a deep breath. "I don't want him to worry, Pip…just get me some clothes, and bandages and I'll fix the rest, okay?"

Phil nods his head but before he goes, he looks back and shakes his head, taking Jeff's weight in his arms and running off. He knows that he'll never forgive himself if he loses Jeff's sight again.

* * *

Now, dressed in his usual preppy clothing, a blue dress and white shoes, he walks with Phil, trying to come up with an excuse.

When they get home, the first thing Matt does is hug the living hell out of Jeff. "What in hell's name?! WHERE WERE YOU? We were worried sick!" But Matt's face is more of happy than angry.

"I really was upset, Matty…" Jeff's faking act is priceless. Phil knows so too. "I had to get away for a while…"

"Oh, Jeff. Let's get you something to eat and hey, I'll watch that chick flick you like to watch." Then he turns to Phil, 'thanks…"

Phil doesn't say anything, just shoving past Matt, still angry at him for his mistrust at him but Phil won't say a word. Nothing at all. He walks into his room and lies in bed, frustrated. It isn't long before Jeff walks in and sits down besides him, laying down with arms around Phil's waist.

"Goodnight, Pip."

Phil doesn't respond. And Jeff doesn't ask why Phil's so upset. He knows better not to.

* * *

**Review?**

**X Sam.**


	9. Chapter Eight: The Reign Of CM Punk

**For those of you who don't know, I fixed the chappie. O.O. On with the ficcy! X333. To mah darling, Areesha, I'm trying to balance it out. Like I said, I'm trying to balance the ChipMUNK with the Junk but when I stop the Junk, it's gonna be ChipMUNK. XD. It's complicated but don't worry. I haven't forgotten about my babies. I'm just making this fic, nice and slow.**

**The other chapter was for Forbidden, which as all of you found out right now, is Hardycest. And I accidentally deleted the Doc so I have to re-write it again. XP.**

* * *

**ChapterEight**:_TheReignOfCMPunk_

* * *

That morning, Phil stretches and finds Matt sitting on the bed, watching him and Jeff sleep.

"Don't worry. You don't have to wake me up, 'Phil spits out in anger. "I'm awake. The little filthy STD bitch is awake!"

With that, Jeff snaps his eyes and stares at Phil stands up and walks into the bathroom, ready to take a shower and Jeff stands up and goes to get clothes for Phil, not saying anything to Matt.

"Get out. I'm gonna shower, too."

"Wait, did you and Phil by any chance…"

"No, we didn't fuck yesterday. He was angry at you," Jeff responds, staring at him, glaring as Phil pokes his head out of the shower, telling Jeff to give him some clothing and the blonde gets a bunch of clothes and gives it to Phil. Phil shuts the door and before Jeff can say anything to Matt, the bell door rings.

Jeff walks over there to answer it and finds out that Randy's standing there, Jeff's face flushes as Jeff twists his head as Randy walks inside. "Hey, 'Jeff says, trying not to look at Randy's eyes.

"They found you."

Jeff nods his head.

"Look, about seeing you kiss Phil, hey, it's okay. For a price." Randy's hand runs through Jeff's thigh, and Jeff stares at Randy as he leans own and kisses him as hard as he could've.

* * *

Phil steps out of the shower, his wet black hair adorable around his face, and his clothing made of yellow and purple.

Matt sighs. "Look, I didn't mean to mistrust you yesterday…the important thing is that you're both safe…"

"This always happens to me!" Phil exclaims, walking over to Matt so that their lips are only inches apart, faces all too close, 'they always tell me that they trust me but nobody ever does! I'm nothing to them, am I? I'm nothing to you, am I?"

Matt holds onto Phil's face, looking at him and downstairs, they hear a moan of satisfaction and Matt and Phil look at each other before they walk downstairs, seeing Jeff on the floor, with his dress on the floor, Randy's pants beside it an Matt's eyes widen. "Jeffery. Nero. Hardy!"

Randy gets up and gets his pants while Jeff reaches for his dress, slipping it over him as fast as he could've as Randy walks out of the house and Matt stares at him angrily. "When will you ever learn?!"

"He started it!"

"Yeah and I'm the Queen of England!"

Phil twists his head away from Jeff, betrayal sinking in as he walks upstairs, not saying another word as he slams the door of his room and it can be heard all too loudly.

"Jeff…"

Jeff's eyes are now bubbling with tears. "He threatened to tell the entire WWE that I slept with him. I had no other choice, Matty…I don't want everyone thinking of me as a slut."

Matt leans down towards him, wiping away his tears.

"I blew it, didn't I?"

Matt shakes his head. "Look, Phil's easy, he forgives you easily…just go up there and talk to him."

"Yeah, 'cause I'm just as easy to get to bed!" Phil exclaims, walking downstairs and just as he's about to walk outside, Matt grabs onto Phil's shoulder and Phil twists his head to look at him, stirring with confusion.

"I'm not letting you go out there. I don't want to end up looking for days for you."

"I'm not Jeff. You can easily forget me as I forget everything, 'Phil snaps back and Jeff walks towards him, hugging him tightly, letting Phil feel the warmth of his body as they press against each other. "I'm just a sad excuse for a human being, Matty. I know that. I swear I do…"

"No, Phil, no…" Matt whispers, kissing onto his nose. "You're more than that, you're like a little brother to me…"

"And you keep telling me that I shouldn't compare myself to Jeff because he has more rights than I do." Phil says, and that's when Jeff grabs onto Phil's arm, trying to push him closer to him, their eyes locking with each other. "Jeff, I don't even want to look at you! I can't believe that-that-"

"Phil, look at me…Randy threatened to expose me and you. If you're going to work in the wrestling business, we need to keep you as Phil Hardy and you're gonna have it hard if they think that we're together…we both are."

Phil looks down then nods his head. "Fine."

* * *

The weeks pass.

Jeff has been training Phil on a trampoline and as Matt had warned, Phil had gotten hurt because of it.

Months pass.

CM Punk, as he's known by the audience, has been slowly being favored by some and hated by some. Phil has gotten many tattoos, Jeff has promised that they'd look astounding on him and they do. Phil has gotten a lip ring, too…and even after a while, Phil has developed his own style, thanks to Jeff.

Then there's that match after Phil has won the Money in the Bank.

Jeff wins it.

Phil doesn't even remember who Jeff is playing against but he watches the match. He still doesn't get the hang of the wrestlers that play with Jeff and now standing there, he feels hands around Phil's ass.

"What—?"

Phil turns around to face Verrel.

"Oh, you."

Phil's voice is filled with disgust and Verrel pushes him towards the wall, biting and nibbling onto his neck as his hand slips Phil's trunks out of his legs, exposed his limp dick and when Verrel sees the organ, he smirks before he squeezes it in attempt to get Phil hard as he bites onto Phil's neck, sucking and tasting.

Without warning, Verrel pushes inside of Phil, causing Phil to feel as if he's tearing into two pieces. A scream escapes Phil's mouth and Verrel kisses him, biting at the lip ring.

"Verrel…"

"You didn't pay me back, bitch."

Any of the money that Phil has owned, he'd given o the Hardy's, in attempt to pay them back.

"It's my parents' debt! Not mine!"

Verrel slaps Phil and leans down towards his ear, 'if you don't listen to me, Phil, Jeff is going to get hurt…or better yet, let's make you hurt him."

"No!"

Verrel pushes Phil's trunks back towards his exposed ass, covered up and dressed. The evil man staring at him darkly. "Look, if you don't do what I say, I'm going to rape that little bitch of yours you call a boyfriend, understand?"

"Jeff?" Phil says his name, feeling a pang of horror fill his body.

"Yes, him."

Jeff's theme song plays in the background and Verrel smirks. "Or better yet…" Verrel pushes the silver suitcase towards Phil's stomach, 'go out there and do that signature move of yours GTS or whatever and take that title and walk out or else." The man hisses.

Phil is about to leave, holding the suitcase in his hand.

"Oh, and do me a favor, Phil, 'the voice of Verrel makes Phil shiver. "Don't tell anyone what I'm doing to you…unless you want your precious boyfriend to go back to the Hole…"

He walks in there and those moments are the hardest moments of his life as he does the GTS on his boyfriend twice before stealing his title and walking off, trying to seem happy but all he feels is empty.

He stops and sucks in a breath, trying to forget it all but he can't.

He seriously can't.

It isn't a while before both Jeff and Matt walk towards him, a look of shock plastered on both their faces.

"What in hell's name?! PHIL!"

Matt gets up and slaps Phil, pinning him to the wall, staring at him in anger. "I took you in. We gave you a home and this is how you repay us?! By stealing my brother's title?!"

Phil's eyes are bubbling with tears. "I…I…"

"Save it." Jeff says, coldly. "And it was over the moment you came into the ring, Phil—or should I say, _Punk_."

* * *

**The Hardy feud never happened here. Okay? XD.**

**X Sam.**


	10. Chapter Nine: Conventions Of Love

**Yay! Just what we need, another chapter for '**_**Circles'**_**. I just had to work on this sometime soon. XP. **

* * *

**ChapterNine**:_ConventionsOfLove_

* * *

After that day, Phil finds it hard to live in the Hardy household.

How can you not when you've stolen what's rightfully your boyfriend's? Or ex boyfriend for any matter. That morning, Phil wakes up early, he even tries to fix up breakfast, but can only make a few pieces of toast and he waits an hour for Matt to come downstairs, announcing that Jeff's still bathing for Phil to pour a glass of orange juice and then shove it towards Matt.

"You know, 'Phil tries to explain everything. "When I found Jeff? I didn't find him—he's hurt. He's hurt bad."

Matt's eyes go towards Phil's face and even in solidified anger and fury, he asks, 'what do you mean? What happened?"

Phil takes a quick breath. "I mean that I followed Daquan back towards the Hole." Matt shudders at the mention of that unholy place. "And Jeff was in a match with one of them. And he was hurt bad and when we got out, he told me not to tell you…but now, Verrel's back and that's the only reason I stole Jeff's title was because he forced me to fuck him and he told me that if I didn't do that to Jeff then…then… he'd hurt Jeff…he'd force him-"

With that, Matt stands up. "And your proof for this is…?"

Phil, shaking, walks towards Phil's room and Phil lays down and pulls a foul-smelling piece of clothing, battered with blood, 'that was my shirt but I used it to wrap it around Jeff 'cause…they made Jeff fight naked…"

Matt takes the piece of cloth from Phil's hands, looking at it and inspecting it and even with the strong scent of blood, Jeff's perfume is mixed within it and Matt looks back at Phil and with a broken voice, he asks, 'what kind of a brother am I? Why did I let this happen to him?"

Phil is about to try and comfort him but Matt throws the shirt towards the bed and hugs him, hard, crushing him in the embrace, trying hard to contain himself as he runs his fingers through Phil's hair. "Matt…"

"MATTY!"

Jeff's voice breaks the duo from their embrace as Matt looks back at Jeff, angry at him, 'don't touch him! HE-HE-"

"No, Jeff, he-"

Jeff storms off before Matt tries to explain the situation to him and Matt follows the now purple and green clothed Jeff, trying to calm him down. "Jeff, he-"

"I don't want to know it, Matty! I can't believe you're on his side! You know how hard I worked for it! And he comes in with a suitcase and takes my title away in just one move! No! I'm not hearing it! Next time this happens to you, then talk to me." Jeff glares angrily, sitting down in a kitchen chair and eating through a piece of toast, munching around the edges.

"Jeff-"

"No, Matt."

Matt sighs, finally giving up before walking up to Phil's room, seeing that Phil's brushing through his already neat hair and then looks back at Matt. "He didn't listen to you, did he?"

"You know him that well?" Matt jokes.

Phil nods. "Well, he is the one person that made me look pretty…but…I feel spoiled, you know? Like I'm not working from what I'm getting. Hell, I was homeless. You saw me. I used to live on nothing but water and a loaf of bread that was supposed to last the entire week for me."

Matt's stunned. "A loaf of bread for the entire week?"

"I told you. I was poor. Whatever money I had, Verrel and Daquan took it away from me. I have to give so damn much that it's impossible to pay them before I die. And even now, with this income, I can't pay them…" Phil says, looking down at his feet.

"Damn, your parents partied all the time?"

Phil nods. "That's why I'm not ashamed of fucking anyone."

"'Cause you see it all the time?"

Phil nods once more. "Yeah…I've never really seen a real relationship work out. Half the time I followed my Mom who broke up with my Dad then started dating three guys at one time…then I lived with my Dad and he didn't date, he only banged…then they got back together but I knew that both of them were cheating on each other…"

"Damn." Matt responds. "When did you lose your virginity?"

"Thirteen."

"Thirteen years old?!"

"Yeah…" Phil says, now uncertain.

"Hell no!" Matt exclaims, staring at Phil, now stared at the petite ravenette. "That's illegal!"

"I know…" Phil says, looking down, unsure of what to say.

"How old was the—"

"Twenty five."

"That's sick, that's majorly sick…"

Phil's stomach rolls with nausea. "Stop making me feel like a freak!" Phil's eyes are about to water as Matt stares at him. "I already know that I'm one but please…don't make me feel like I'm a sick person."

"Sorry." Matt doesn't know what else to say, feeling guilt burn in the pit of his stomach. "Hey, you're straight edge, right?"

Phil nods his head.

"Isn't like a convention there for that thing?"

Phil again nods his head.

"We should go. You, me and Jeff…if Jeff ever lightens up…God knows that life's gonna be hard with him like that."

"You used to act like that when I moved in and Jeff took a liking to me."

Matt's eyes widen, 'really?"

Phil nods his head. "Really."

"Damn, I'm insane then."

"Yes, yes, you are."

"Hey, come on! Make me feel better!"

"No, no, I won't."

"Yes, yes, you will."

Matt watches as the ravenette walks off into his room, disappearing for the time being and he takes a quick breath when he sees Jeff walking by. "Not going to take about it, Matty." Matt then scans for a cut on Jeff…God knows how hurt he's been… he scans head to toe and realizes that even in the soft, silk clothing, it doesn't show as if anything's wrong with him.

'_Maybe on his back? On his legs? Where?'_

Matt shakes his head before he walks away and disappears into the kitchen. For later on, he knows that he has a convention to go to.

'_But is it a date…?'_

* * *

During the cab ride, Matt keeps on tickling onto Phil's stomach.

"Hey! Hey! Stop!" Phil says, letting Matt, who's now on top of the ravenette, let the fingers play with the soft skin.

"No. Your fault for questioning me!"

"I didn't question you! I just asked you what time we'd be back home!" Phil reminds him before Matt slides off Phil, helping him up. "See? The cab driver is staring at us now!"

"Only because he's daydreaming of me. 'Cause I'm handsome."

Phil rolls his eyes at Matt's notion before he thinks of Jeff, who has gone out with John Morrison for a night out in a bar then go back to John Morrison's house for a sleepover and he wonders if somehow Randy's mixed into the mess as well because he always is for some reason.

When they walk into the convention centre, they're met by two people that Phil's shocked to see himself, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes and as always, they're dressed to match. Both in a red color, Ted in a button down and white pants, paired with black shoes and Cody in a red hoodie, white pants that are too tight for his own good and black boots and Cody's head is on Ted's shoulder.

"What are you two doing here?" Matt asks before Phil can.

Ted chuckles, "It's 'cause we had nothing to do so we came around."

"Ted, you say the word 'nothing' too much."

"Your date is your brother?" Cody pitches in and Matt sighs, before shaking his head.

"Hey, guys, can you keep a secret!"

"There's nothing that I can't keep locked!" Ted exclaims.

"Stop with the 'nothing', it got annoying five months ago!" Matt exclaims, then leans slightly closer so that they are the only people hearing it. "Phil isn't really my brother, you know? I just told Vince that so that he'd be more likely to consider Phil around but don't tell anyone else, okay? 'Cause I don't wanna lose my job for lying."

"_Ooh_," Cody says, jumping around, 'so you're telling me that it's sort of a secret forbidden thing that only you two and Jeff know about?"

"Actually, Jeff doesn't know that I took Phil out and no, we're not together."

Cody rolls his eyes. "And Teddy and I aren't really fucking each other behind stage."

"Cody!"

Ted has always been shy of their relationship but Cody, Cody would fuck Ted publically if he wants to. He once stripped in front of everyone in a party just because he knows that it'll shock the rest of the people.

Matt chuckles. "But no, we're really not together. Come on, Phil, let's sit down."

Cody and Ted follow Phil and Matt as they sit down in the front row to listen to the lecture that's being held at that convention and in the middle of it, Matt has fallen asleep, drool seeping from his mouth as Phi listens actively. Ted and Cody have been poking at each other's bodies from the start. When it's over, Phil shakes Matt awake so that they can enjoy the rest of the convention.

Little badges and buttons, booths with games like knocking down bottles of alcohol and smashing them into pieces, this place seems to be Phil's haven. Matt just wants to get it over with.

Phil stops to inspect a button. "You can make your own."

"Swell." Matt says, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

Phil takes one of the empty purple leathered buttons and then walks to get the jewelry and pieces of rhinestones while Matt sits down and talks to Cody and Ted who change the conversation every two seconds into something else and in the middle of it, they both end up fighting before Cody talks Ted to the bathroom to 'fix his shirt'. At that time, an hour has passed and Phil finally comes back.

"Where have you been?"

"Making the button."

Phil sits on top of Matt's lap, feeling comfortable while Matt tenses up slightly as Phil shows him the purple leathered buttons that now has Jeff's name on it and a few tiny hearts around.

"You miss him, don't you?"

"I don't like it when we fight." Phil admits, pressing his head towards Matt's chest and just as Matt is about to take Phil home, they both bump into Vince, who scrunches up his nose at them.

"So it's not Phil Hardy?" he asks, his voice slowly rising.

'_Dammit, can't trust that little gossiping Rhodes of a—'_before Matt can finish his own curses, he nods his head.

"Well, this is perfect then."

"I wasn't too fond of Phil breaking up our storylines. Even with the storylines, Jeff's been wanting to be on top for so long…and when Phil took the title, I was shocked yet excited to be working with a storyline like that and now that I realize that Phil's not really a Hardy, it makes things even more exciting…me and him should run the plotlines around soon."

Verrel walks towards Vince and then smirks at Phil. "Oh, Phil, you don't drink?"

Phil shakes his head. "Never had one."

Matt glares at Verrel who looks back at Vicky who's smiling in a very fake smile at them before shouting at Verrel about something. Chavo standing there and not doing anything while Adam is trying not to double over laughter.

"Oh," Vince looks at Verrel. "He's going to be working on this storyline."

Phil shivers at the thought of Verrel doing whatever he can with _this_ storyline. Matt then says a quick goodbye before pulling Phil alongside of him, trying to push him past the crowd. Slightly shocked that Vince's so accepted of this all but now slightly afraid of how the storyline is going to twist now.

Matt takes Phil to a café close by and sits down with him, ordering a quick order of two coffees and two slices of cake before looking at Phil who seems to be deep in thought. "I don't want him to hate me even more." Phil's almost whimpering by then.

"Hey, I'll talk to him. Soon enough, Jeff will straighten out. He's just being a rebellious princess."

Phil lets a little smile take over his lips. "Thanks, Matt."

"No problem."

They sip their coffees and when Matt finishes his slice of cake, Phil offers to share his. "You know, you don't eat much."

Phil nods his head. "I don't."

"How's the HIV thing?"

"I still have that fever but it's cooling down with the medicine but I'm scared 'cause I don't know much about it but then again…" Phil stops eating and looks at Matt. "What am I going to do about sex?"

"You have a person in mind? Jeff? Jeff already has it so you won't worry about passing it but if you're ever sleeping with anyone else, then I suggest condoms."

Phil nods.

"But…" Matt lifts Phil's chin. "If you're ever going to have a relationship with anyone, then I suggest that you wait for it…you know, wait a few months then have sex."

Phil's eyes widen. "People wait that long?"

"Some of them don't have sex until they're married." Matt tells him, 'but I'm not that type to wait."

Phil blushes as Matt pays the check. Both of them walking away, taking a stroll towards their house and just as they're about to walk into the house, Matt stands by the doorway, looking through his keys.

"Hey-"

"Matt…"

"What, Phil?" Matt's eyes meet with Phil's.

"I…I'm sorry for ruining your evening."

"You didn't ruin anything." Matt laughs. "Besides, I had fun. Minus the lecture and waiting for you to finish that button thing."

Phil pins the button onto Matt's jacket.

"Hey, purple is so damn girly."

"I like purple!" Phil interjects, crossing his arms.

Matt laughs before looking into Phil's eyes, both of their eyes locking with each other before Matt leans down to capture Phil's lips into a kiss, a heated and passionate one. Matt opens the door and smirks at him. "Let's finish this inside."

Phil smiles before walking inside and the moment that Phil slams the door shut, Matt grabs onto Phil's arms, kissing him, letting his tongue explore Phil's mouth, and every time they did pull apart, Matt returns to kiss him. Over and over before Phil feels breathless and Phil sits down, Matt on top of him, sealing it with one last kiss, Matt collapses on top of Phil. Phil giggles. "Get off."

Matt grabs onto Phil and pulls him out, pulling him on top of him before running his hand through Phil's back. "Goodnight, Philly."

"Goodnight, Matty…"

* * *

**That was adorable. XD. **

**Review?**

**X Sam.**


	11. Chapter Ten: In Pain & Pondering

**Haha. I stole mah sister's account: turned from **_**GrayxFreak**_**, to **_**TheEdgeOfSam**_**. XP! She didn't want it and I like playing around besides I now use it for when I exceed the messaging limit. Something I do all the time… XP! I broke the record of 100 messages per day. XD!**

**Anyways…here's a chappie of '**_**Circles'**_** that I was working on for like two days straight. I finished halfway then mah sister wanted meh to watch some video and I shrugged it off before watching the thing. It's like…so damn long. It was torture watching McFly videos. XP! Mostly 'cause I don't like them that much but personally, I think Tom Fletcher & Harry Jud are yummy. XD!**

* * *

**ChapterTen**:_InPain&Pondering_

* * *

"_Phil!"_

_A fifteen year old teenager looks up at his drunken mother who is just in her pink bra and floral skirt, leaning down to get a bottle of alcohol, Jack Daniels, her heart pounds with exhilarations as she unscrews the bottle. "Stop," Phil tries to convince her, holding her wrist but she stares at him and giggles before she puts the bottle to her lips and swallows so much that it's pooling out of her mouth then she giggles once more before standing up. "Come on, Mom, let's go get you to—"_

"_Shut up, Phil." She snaps at him. "We're going to a party tonight so wear something appropriate."_

"_We got to a party every night."_

"_Whatever, just wear something—"_

"_Hell, all I've got is two outfits," he points to his black dress shirt and white pants and black shoes, 'and there's that other one."_

"_Wear the other one. This one looks like you're going to a funeral."_

_Phil rolls the sleeves and nods his head before following his mother over to wherever she'd disappeared to._

_She spends her time driving them in her busted Cadillac to the party, the white car barely gleaming in the darkness and when she finds the destination, it's around nine o'clock and the tired Phil tries to snap out of his trance as she walks into the room and starts to dance with any man she can find and he sits down, trying to avoid being near alcohol and falls asleep…_

_It isn't until he wakes up that he notices that he's in a different place._

"_Hmm?"_

_The dark cellar isn't lit up by anything, not a light, not even the faint hint of anything, the blackness still treads on as tiny droplets of water fall onto the floor, each one falls to the rhythm of Phil's now unsteady heartbeat…_

"_Where—?"_

"_Hello, Phil."_

_That voice…_

_He stands there, slapping Phil's cheek and drawing a soft little whimper from the child. "Where is she?! The little no good bitch?" _

"_She…at the party…with me…" Phil croaks out, staring into those familiar solidified cold eyes. _

"_And you didn't stop her?!"_

"_I was tired…" Phil tries to explain as he's been shoved by the man's hands towards the wall, pressing him hard and in a moment's time, a pair of scissors have been shoved in Phil's shoulder, the two points digging into his skin as hard as ever, making the teenager whimper even more, pain exploding through every artery and vein in his body. "Please…"_

_It's not soon until he's met with a punch in his stomach, and the man pulls Phil's shirt off, exposing pale white flesh, and the man smirks, pulling an ax, making Phil's heart explode horribly as the point of the sharp object hits his stomach, blood pooling out of his stomach… "STOP! Please!"_

* * *

"Phil!"

"No, stop!"

"Phil, wake up!"

"PLEASE!"

Matt can't take it anymore as he stands up and shakes the ravenette out of his disturbing slumber, Phil's eyes popping open with distress as he snaps out of his trance.

"Hey, you okay? You're sweating…"

Phil notices that his usually dry skin now has been soaked to the curve, sweat covered the outer layer of his skin, and he's out of breath, panting nervously as the cold memory further on makes his heart pound out of his chest.

"Nightmare?"

"Yeah," Phil says, rubbing his eyes.

"Tell me about it."

"I'm not going to tell you the typical 'I don't wanna talk about it' shit because I really do wanna talk about it…it was after a party…and my mother was there and I fell asleep…woke up in this dark cellar and got beaten to the curve. He hit me with scissors, 'Phil says, trying to ignore the shocked look on Phil's face, 'then hit me with an ax on my stomach."

"An…an ax?! Who is this crazy guy?"

Phil blinks. "My father."

"W-what? Didn't you call the police?"

"The police know my parents. They've been trying to catch them for years…besides, it doesn't matter now…my father's friends with Verrel though so that's why Verrel's out on me."

"I don't understand. Verrel has nothing to do with you."

Phil shakes his head. "He thinks I killed my parents."

"What?" Matt says, pulling back jet black strands of hair, 'why? You didn't do anything to suspect it, right?"

"No!" Phil exclaims, feeling slightly offended but it tunes down in a bit. "Actually, he thinks that just because I'm straight edge and they aren't makes me a bad son and out to get them because they're not like me when it's the opposite story."

"They hate you because you don't wanna drink?" Matt says, appalled, his eyes filled with disgust. "That's insane!"

"Well, that's my parents for you…"

"Come on. Let's go get you some breakfast. Can you go bathe while I make some?" Matt asks, and Phil nods his head, running upstairs to run the water. While waiting for the hot water to show presence, he looks through his dresser and tries not to break down at the thought of Jeff, his Jeff, buying these clothes for him… he pushes the thought away as he scoops up a navy and white t-shirt with Tom and Jerry on the front, tiny little rhinestones around it and he pulls out the sweatpants, also navy with a few rhinestones writing 'Tom And Jerry' on the pockets. He sighs before he pulls himself in the bathroom, and bathes, not caring about the too hot water that's burning his skin. He doesn't care that he's gotten first degree burns out of it. He just doesn't.

He wears his clothing and brushes his hair before going downstairs with Matt sitting down, the food already in plates. The sad Hardy chuckling, 'you know, 'Matt says, looking at Phil, 'Jeff usually takes this much time to get ready if the water's warm enough."

Phil looks down at his feet. "I miss him."

"He says he'll be back in the afternoon but I doubt he'll sit around long enough to listen to us." Matt says, taking a spoonful of cereal and eating it. "You think he'll be happy if I buy him some Lucky Charms?"

"What are Lucky Harms?"

Matt laughs. "Lucky _Charms_. It's some sort of sugar cereal that Jeff used to love eating. I banned it from him." He chuckles.

"Too much sugar?"

"You have no idea."

"I'll buy you a box, too."

"You like them?"

Matt shakes their head. "I'm more of the type to eat the ones that aren't too sugary—like Special K, but I do fancy a bit of Cheerio's every now and then."

"Is it weird that I don't know any of them?" Phil asks.

Matt laughs before hugging him, 'just eat your cereal and we'll make due. Fine?"

"Fine, 'Phil says, sitting down and taking his bowl, eating its contents and as always, he never finishes it and pulls the halfway full bowl in the front of the table, causing Matt to shake his head before sipping his coffee.

* * *

It's around five in the morning when he hears the sound of the door clicking open and when Matt sees the pale Jeff walking inside, he knows, he just knows, that there's something different.

In his eyes.

In his face.

Something just completely and utterly different but it's the same face and it's the same eyes but still…

"Jeff?"

"Hmm?" Jeff says, his eyes staring at Matt's.

"Can we talk?"

Jeff nods his head and sits down beside Matt's, there's no spark in those eyes…he just realizes, there's no life…they're so damn dead. It's so unlike him. The colors that he's wearing, faded and broken, colors that used to be of pink, purple and yellow are now of blue, red and black.

The realization slaps onto Matt's face as hard as ever.

"What happened to you?"

"What?" Jeff says, eyes widened, standing up, still shocked that Matt's face is filled coated with paleness and horror, fear washing over. "What's wrong, Matty?"

"You…you're…clothes…face…_eyes_…"

"What?" Jeff repeats, looking up and down his clothing, trying to find out what Matt's trying to say then pulls out a mirror from his pocket and looks at his face, no blemishes, nothing but clear tan pale skin.

"Jeff…" Matt says, lifting Jeff's chin and looking into those eyes. "You look…so…_dead_."

Jeff looks at the mirror again and looks at his face then a soft whimper rises from his throat. "Dead, 'he repeats, looking at the mirror. "Dammit, Matty, I'm so dead inside…"

"Jeffro, what's going on?"

By God, he'd never heard Jeff say the word 'sad', much less the word 'dead'. Jeff is a little sparkle of joy, he'd never seen him like this and he isn't prepared to see him like this, the child that has been once lulled by warmth and joy is now tearing up on the inside. "Is this all about your title, Jeff?"

Jeff shakes his head, putting his hands in his pocket of his jeans. No skirts. That's another slap on Matt's face. And he could see a hint of boxers, not panties, not Jeff's usually pink or purple or yellow or bright aqua underwear, no, boxers of all things. His hair's greasy and pulled back into a ponytail held by a piece of elastic, not a scrunchie, not pretty clips, no, none of that…

"No," Jeff says, his voice thick with pain. "It's not any of that, Matty!"

Matt embraces Jeff, hugging him, feeling Jeff's body press against him nicely. "Come on, Jeffy…let's go to the kitchen and hey, I even got you some Lucky Charms…you want some right now?"

Jeff shakes his head.

"Skittles?"

Matt's eyes widen as Jeff shakes his head once more. He'd never once see Jeff reject Skittles of all things.

Jeff hops towards the kitchen, shoving past Phil, who's standing there with wide eyes as his eyes trail up and down Jeff's body and Jeff sits down, legs crossed, looking down at his feet. Matt follows him, trying to think of things that Jeff enjoyed the most. "How about me and you go out shopping?"

"No."

"A party?"

"No. Matt, I don't want any of that, 'his voice's dead serious.

"What's going on, Jeff?"

"Nothing."

Phil sits down and looks at him. "If it makes you any happier, Jeff, I'm sorry-"

"I SAID IT'S NOT ABOUT MY DAMN TITLE ALREADY! Take it! Take it for all I care, dammit!" Phil's heart races as Jeff stands up, his eyes bubbling with anger, mixed with desolation, and Phil's gobsmacked, he really is…did Jeff just scream at him? He'd seen him angry, but never seen him this angry. "I'll be in my room."

Phil's eyes are still wide as he steps out of the room.

Matt stares at Phil, trying to get the image of his head, his Jeff—like this—he shakes his head and starts to move away but Phil grabs onto his wrist, looking down and almost sobbing. "Matt…" his voice's broken. "Is this my fault?"

"I don't know," Matt's voice is soft as he kisses Phil's forehead. "I'll go check on him."

Phil nods his head, looking down, feeling the guilt stab him in the back. "I did this…"

"Phil, don't think like that, okay?" Matt says, starting to walk away, but pauses and looks back at Phil. "I don't know what's up with him but I'll check with him and you try talking to John Morrison, fine?"

Phil nods his head. "Fine…"

With that, Matt exits the door, to keep Phil alone, in pain, pondering, wondering…

* * *

**What? I couldn't help it. I had to write it! X3! You know how much I like a little mystery & angst in mah stories. By the way, I've tasted Cherrio's but I've never tasted Lucky Charms...XP. True story! XD!  
**

**Review, please, mah darlings.**

**X Sam.**


	12. Chapter Eleven: C Is For Crying

**And the suspense begins…*rubs hands together***

**Oh, and KimberAnnBRAND wrote meh a **_**HardPunkzanin**_** one-shot. (Matt/Phil/Jeff/Mike) Yummy foursomeness! Oh, and here's one thing I NEVER expected, like…**_**EVER**_**. MATT HARDY IS **_**TOPPED**_** BY CM PUNK! Oh hell yeah. Jeff & Mike top CM Punkers & Punkers tops Matt? YEZ! YOU MUST READ! X3! IT MADE ME THINK THAT MATT IZ TOPPABLE. SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN IN MAH LIFE.  
**

* * *

**ChapterEleven**:_CIsForCrying_

* * *

Phil moves slightly, feeling Matt grip onto his body, hard and his soft breathes onto Phil's ear.

He doesn't know how he'd gotten here.

In truth, he knows that that night, after Matt's talked to Jeff, Phil had been looking through the check book and Matt looks horrible, pale, scared, and Phil doesn't ask him what he'd seen as Matt takes Phil to bed after a chaste kiss, and he'd fallen asleep quite quickly but Phil's thoughts still linger.

What did Jeff say?

What does Matt know?

When he feels Matt moving and he feels eyes set on him, 'what happened, Matt? Last night?"

Phil turns around to face Matt's face who still has a ghastly pale to it. He looks as dead as Jeff now. "I saw him in his cuts, remember…the ones he'd gotten from Verrel?" Phil's hearts stops at the thought of Verrel as he nods his head. "I didn't expect them to be so bad and they scared the shit out of me. I asked him what was wrong and he didn't answer me. I don't know… how can he lose so much damn blood? How can you look at it?"

Phil's eyes are now watering. "Dammit, Matty…you're talking to a person who'd been in a million street fights…that seemed normal to me. I was used to seeing it. I didn't know that was bad…hell, Matty, what do I know?"

Matt runs his hand through Phil's side, pressing the body close to him.

They're both in Matt's room, battered in colors of slightly dark blue. Pictures, games, posters of bands, Slipknot, Three Doors Down, Three Days Grace. Phil moves around to look at Matt's face once more, kissing him and Matt kisses back, letting his tongue roll around Phil's mouth.

"Are we a real thing, Phil?" Matt asks.

They stop talking about Jeff instantly and start talking about the 'us' that doesn't seem to be there.

"I don't know," Phil whispers.

He'd broken apart this family.

'_All because of me…disgusting, disgusting me…'_ this wouldn't have happened if he didn't come in. Then Verrel wouldn't have done what he did to Jeff, then Matt wouldn't be worried…everything would've been perfect for them.

Matt feels Phil's hands go down towards his pants.

This is the only way Phil knows how to forget.

Phil plays with the waistband of Matt's pants, feeling the warmth of Matt's skin against his own, the feeling is beyond impossible to explain.

"Phil…" Matt says his name, in annoyance but Phil only looks up at him before starting to bite and suck at his neck, tasting the flesh of Matt, the unique mixture of flesh and sweat, it's astounding and before Matt can stop him, Phil's hands dig down Matt's waistband, through the orange-banded purple boxers, and Phil giggles. "I thought purple was too girly."

And he grabs onto Matt's cock, feeling the hard and firm organ and Matt's lips are trailing along Phil's neck.

"Matty, 'Phil giggles out the name.

"Are you just using me for sex, Phil?" Matt's eyes are now dead serious and Phil's eyes are wide, with horror and terror as he pulls his hands out of Matt's waistband, 'are you just with me because Jeff isn't?"

"Matt!" Phil's eyes are still wide. Precious olive eyes solidifying with pain. "Why would I do that?"

"Some people just do, 'Matt says, breathing in and out. "I mean, you did say that Verrel raped you but you act like that doesn't matter…does it matter to you, Phil? If I rape you right now?"

"It matters, 'Phil says, trying to avoid eye contact with Matt. "It matters-"

"But why are you acting like it doesn't? Like nothing matters? Phil—I just don't get you. You stay strong through the hardest of things but just break at the simplest of things…why is that?"

"I was a child of the streets, Matt. Everyone raped me…it didn't matter when Verrel did it! But I knew it matters to Jeff if he did it, so that's why I took it easy but I do care. When you're used to a certain type of pain, you're used to shunning it too and…why do you like hurting me so much?"

Phil's eyes are now bubbling with unshed tears.

"Phil…"

"Why do you like hurting me so much?" Phil repeats the question, his voice raw and broken. "You didn't answer me."

"I don't like hurting you, Phil."

"Then stop hurting me, Matty…stop it…please…" Phil responds, feeling Matt's hands on his face, holding him, and then placing a soft fluffy kiss on his mouth. "You hurt me so damn bad…"

Matt runs his hand through Phil's hair. "I'm sorry, Philly."

Matt doesn't want him that that's the same reason that he has Phil around. He feels nothing for the ravenette but he needs him around, for the comfort, for the sweetness, it's not sex, but hey, it's something to keep Matt occupied from his concern over Jeff—Matt doesn't want to admit it to himself that he's using Phil around like a toy, that he absolutely feels nothing for him—

Phil stands up and moves away, breaking Matt from his thoughts as he says that he's going to go shower.

Matt nods his head and goes downstairs to make breakfast but when he comes downstairs, he's not too shocked to find out that his phone buzzing. He opens his message and stares at it.

'_I need to talk to you, Matthew.'_

It's his father.

Matt responds quickly. _'Sure, I'm just gonna eat something before coming over, okay?'_

He places the phone down for a moment and walks over to the fridge to get milk, making his usual coffee, making sure it's as bitter as bitter can be before he drinks it and by that time, his phone is buzzing again.

'_I need to talk to you. Now.'_

Matt puts his cup in the microwave and walks out, quickly scribbling onto the board on the fridge that he's going out for an emergency and coming back soon, a habit that he'd done whenever something like this comes up before rushing out the door, dropping the black marker to the floor.

A moment later, Jeff walks into the room and picks up the marker, putting it on the table as Phil walks inside.

Jeff stares at him for a moment, closing his eyes for that moment. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Phil asks, confused before Jeff pops a pill into his mouth and puts the bottle onto the table. Phil's still confused as he sees him sitting down, legs crossed, staring up at Phil with a look of sympathy. "Why?" Phil tries to get an answer out of him.

"For this."

"For…?" Phil turns around to make a cup of coffee for both him and Jeff and Jeff doesn't say anything as he watches Phil move around.

"He's using you."

"Who?" Phil asks, blinking once before turning around to see Jeff's face laced with sympathy.

"He's using me. He's using you."

"Who?" Phil repeats, slightly agitated.

"Matt." Jeff purses his lips. "He uses me and you to get his mind off things. He doesn't like thinking about things. He just does things to ignore them and he's been doing this all my life, you know? I'm like his thing for him to make him stop caring about it all, you know? After my mother's death, hell, I was sad but Matt…Matt was torn. I was the only thing that kept his mind off things like that."

Phil sits down now, pushing the cup towards him.

"He hates it when I start talking about things about her, then about Dad, he hates me talking about him, too… just cause he knows that our family isn't the same as everyone else's. That we're demented. He cares about me, yes, but he's still using me as an object to try and push everything else at the back of his head and he's using you because he can't use me anymore."

Phil's eyebrows raise.

"He's using you for comfort. That's the only reason why he kisses you. He claims to think that you're the one who's using him just for the sex but in truth, it's him."

Phil shakes his head. "No…"

Jeff takes a sip of the coffee, 'look at me, Phil. I broke up with you because of a title and I was blunt and straight about it and I'm gonna fight for it. Gonna fight in the storyline…but behind that, I still like you and I admit that and you still like me because you know that's who I am—blunt, straight…yes, I'm a kid and hell yeah, I'm now taking anti-depressants…"

Phil's eyes go towards the bottle and Jeff throws the bottle towards him. Phil catches it and looks at him, smiling softly at Jeff.

"…but I don't let it stop my life."

"Why do you need anti-depressants?" Phil asks, sipping his cup of coffee, trying to forget what Jeff's said about Matt pushing everything else away from him and using them both as objects.

"Depression. The Doctor says it's a symptom of HIV so he gave me some medicine. It's all cleared up now…I think… I'm trying to help myself through it but I sorta like it that Matt's trying to pretend that he cares about me. He doesn't care about anything but himself. That's Matt for you. Selfish. That's all he's ever been…why do you think I'm always looking for attention? He pretends to care but he really doesn't. I know. Dad knows…"

Phil looks down. "And how did you know that he told me that he's using me for—?"

"I was by the doorway. I was just eavesdropping, just once…I saw you both kiss and that kinda shocked me. Walked in, heard this, and felt sorry for you…because he's using you the same way he's using me but now, since he knows that I'm off limits."

"He… he's really using me?" Phil says, looking down at the cup of coffee in front of him and suddenly, not feeling as if he wants it anymore.

Jeff's eyes are now bubbling with tears as he stands up, walking over towards Phil and Phil stands up as well, both embracing as tears fall out of their eyes, leaking out badly. "Circles theory, 'Jeff says, chuckling sadly.

"Circles theory?" Phil repeats.

"They say these seven things is what makes us up. C for Crying. I for Irritation. R for Redemption. C for Care. L for Languish. E for Eternity. S for Serenity. The 'Circles' theory. They say that these things make up life…it makes it sad and it makes it good at the same time…the 'Circles' theory."

"I don't feel good about anything anymore…" Phil says, looking down at the floor. "I just feel so damn sad."

"I know how you feel…"

The two look at each other before sharing a fit of laughter, broken laughter, and then embracing once more.

* * *

Matt stands there, walking in to see Gilbert, sitting down, sipping a cup of tea and he sits down, trying to understand why he'd called him.

"I'm sick of seeing you do this to him."

"Hmm?" those words knock Matt out of his trance, eyes widened.

Gilbert puts the cup of tea down and looks at Matt, sighing. "You're using Jeff, aren't you? Didn't you get rid of that old habit back in high school? Hell, it's become so obvious that even John Morrison called me up yesterday about it."

Matt's eyes widen. "I just have a lot of things on my mind—"

"Same excuse you used in high school?"

Matt nods his head and listens to his father sigh. "I don't like seeing Jeff like this. I know he's a very happy and perky person and I don't want you to break that. You know how Jeff is. He's so sensitive."

"Yeah, he is." Matt nods.

"And anything just hurts him. So how long before Jeff realizes this? And when he does, how do you think he's going to react?"

"I think he knows…"

"Why do you say that? Nothing happened to him, right?" Gilbert says. His words quick and concern laces his words.

"He came inside yesterday and he was wearing boyish clothes and looked like he came from a fight, 'Matt licks his lips. "It's unlike him. You know how Jeff can be, girly and perky and happy…but God, he looked so damn dead. It was like a wake up call…and I still don't know what's wrong with him."

"Do you think I should talk to him?"

Matt shakes his head.

"Look at me, Matthew, if this isn't straightened out, then I'll have Jeff move back with me. I don't like seeing my son hurt. I know that may be a drastic change for you but you have to learn to cope and move on." Gilbert tells him, patting his son's back and Matt nods his head, unable to understand how he's going to cope but he knows that he has to, or else, he'll have to live alone for a very long time…

* * *

**Here's a little of the next chapter…I don't know why I like doing this right now. Perhaps, it's because I'm organizing my ideas.**

_Matt stands there, looking at the fire igniting the building in front of him before John runs up to him…_

Matt: where's Jeff? Where's Phil—?  
John Morrison: still inside the building. No one can find them both…

**Poor, poor things. XP!**

**X Sam. **


	13. Chapter Twelve: Decisions That Are Made

**Aren't I on a roll? Updating every story I possibly can in one day. XD. I already updated '**_**Candy & Icing'**_** & updated on '**_**Meet You By the Skate Park'**_** & updated on **_**'True Romance'**_** and now, I'm updating here. XD. Damn, that sounds tiring. I must have no life.**

**And yes, I don't. But whatcha gonna do? I can't go anywhere since mah mom is pregnant and mah father has to work late…the only day I can go out in the weekends. X3. I have mah sister though… damn, I wish I can get rid of her & her OC, Nikki. XD. Yez, Nikki…but seriously, who grows out of liking the Miz? Okay, enough rambling. Enough of it. Let's go onto the chapter before you scream at meh.**

* * *

**ChapterTwelve**:_DecisionsThatAreMade_

* * *

When Matt had returned, he'd seen both of them laughing and embracing as if nothing has happened.

Phil and Jeff had gone back to bright colored dresses and high heels. Both are now matching each other, while Jeff wears a yellow top with a butterfly in the centre and pink pants, Phil's wearing a pink top with a flower in the centre and yellow pants, Jeff's sneakers are yellow while Phil's are pink, Jeff's scrunchie is yellow while Phil's headband is pink. Matt feels himself sigh in relief as he sits back down but he can't help but think about what his father had said, about taking Jeff back.

He kisses onto Jeff's forehead, causing him to giggle while he winks towards Phil who nods his head.

"We're off to the arena, okay? John and I have plans!"

Both Jeff and Phil stand up and walk out of the room, Jeff pulling a purse along with him as Matt shakes his head. He'd never understand any of them and now, sighing, he looks back down onto the shoes.

What in hell's name is he supposed to do?

Come straight. Tell Jeff the entire act and then tell him that if he doesn't straighten up—but before his thought can continue, he sits down, breaking his own thoughts and the excessive thinking causes him to sleep.

Then he hears the sound of someone knocking onto the door.

He walks up right towards the door and realizes that it's Ted before letting him inside of the room, 'what, no Cody?" Matt asks.

Cody then walks after him, with a white dog in his hands, 'hey, Angie brought Lucas back."

Angie had asked Matt if she could take Lucas for a dog contest in California and even if Matt insisted that Lucas didn't know any tricks, he'd still given Cody's cousin the dog eventually and at the sight of his friend, Matt takes the dog, brushing his hand alongside of his pure white fur.

"Hello, Lucas, did they hurt you?"

"It's the opposite really, 'Ted retards, showing him his arm, where a bite mark is. "He bit me! The stupid thing bit me!"

"Lucas has feelings you know!"

Cody then pushes Ted out, mumbling something about Randy then Matt closes the door, laying the dog down and brushing between Lucas's ears. "Hey, Lucas, come on, let's go out for a walk. I need to think."

Taking a leash from its place, he puts it around the collar and walks out with the dog following him.

* * *

John Morrison doesn't really like spending the afternoon walking around but this time, he decides to. He prefers more advanced machines but today, he agrees that the weather is good and a nice outing would be great.

He walks for a while and then stops when he sees Matt before he starts running over to him.

Matt doesn't say anything for a while, as he stares at Lucas then back at John Morrison who now hangs his head in shame, blushing. "Your Dad talked to you, huh?" John asks and Matt sighs before nodding his head.

"I know you did it because you care about Jeff, 'Matt says, looking down at the asphalt sidewalk before looking back up at John's face once more. "I understand. But now, I might lose him because of it. That's what I'm scared about. I had no idea that I was being an asshole."

John nods his head. "I understand, Matt."

Then before Matt can say anything, John's cell phone rings and John picks it up, 'hello, Evan…"

* * *

Phil and Jeff are giggling as Jeff presses Phil towards the wall of the WWE arena, they're both in one of their rooms and Jeff kisses Phil's lips, a chaste kiss, before Phil tries to pull Jeff off.

"Phil…" Jeff shakes his head, 'you know that Matt's only using you."

"I dunno…I still feel horrible if I do this to him."

Jeff smiles and hugs him, embracing him into a warm hug, 'see, Phil, you're the type of person that everyone can like. You're sweet, and you'd never hurt anyone. But Matt…hey, I don't wanna see Matt hurt you, okay?"

Phil nods his head.

Verrel walks inside, leaving both Jeff and Phil to shake in their places.

Verrel walks towards Jeff, lifting his chin and staring into him, 'hello, querido…how are you today?"

Jeff looks like he's going to bite his finger off as he takes out a bottle of his pills and takes one as he feels as if he needs one and Phil stands beside him, both trying to be strong, both trying to act as if it doesn't matter that the prince of darkness is here himself, staring at them, silently undressing them with his eyes.

"Jeff, did you hear about your precious brother?"

Jeff shakes his head, holding onto Phil, trying to the stronger one, his eyes solidifying with coldness and blackness.

"What—?"

Jeff's mouth is attacked by Verrel's and Jeff tries to push Verrel off by the Guerrero won't push himself off until the kiss is done. Verrel smirking at him.

"Leave him alone." Phil snaps. "It's me you want."

"Yes, but in order to get to you, I must get to the ones that you care about most. You won't care if I kill you right now but you'd care if I hurt this little pet." Verrel says, staring at Jeff, smirking, 'and oh, Phil, I need my share at the end of the month. I'm no longer taking $100 from you. I should take $2,000 with your income."

Phil's eyes widen but he slowly gives in and nods his head. "Or some very endearing people to you can and will get hurt."

Verrel leaves, leaving Phil and Jeff standing there, as Jeff tries to think of a way to forget everything and with that, Jeff slaps onto Phil's back, causing him to stiffen as Jeff giggles. "Tag, you're it!"

And with that, Phil runs after Jeff who giggles as he runs around the building, smiling and giggling. Jeff's the type that takes everything away, every black thought doesn't exist when Jeff's around and Phil doesn't want to think about Jeff's depression state at times because it's only a symptom. It's not Jeff. It's never been Jeff.

* * *

"Stop talking already!"

John finally shuts the phone and Matt finally takes a breath as Gilbert stands outside of the yard, grinning at the boys as John walks towards Gilbert, who he takes like a second father and hugs before Gilbert turns to his other son for a quick, warm embrace. "Hey, Dad…" Matt says, not really wanting to see him but at the same time, wanting to for some unknown reason.

"What you boys doing?"

John jumps up and down excitedly, 'me and Jeff and Phil were going to decorate Matt's room but first, we have to meet together in the arena and tell Vince that Jeff, Phil and me need to take tonight off since we don't do anything and yes, Matt, we are decorating that rooms of yours that is invested by weird bands and football and foot stench."

"What do you expect? I'm a boy." Matt reminds him, 'Jeff's a girl. You're a girl. Phil's a girl. I'm not."

And with that, John's phone buzzes again causing Matt to groan as the perky tanned man presses the phone close to his ear and when he hears Evan's distressed voice, his smile turns into a tight line as a look of horror bathes across his face and he runs off, as fast as he can and Gilbert and Matt who'd never seen John so horrified, follow him to the arena and Matt just hopes that everything's alright…

* * *

Matt and Gilbert stop by the arena around fifteen minutes after John's arrived and both with pale faces of horror, staring at the fire that's ignited in the building. Matt's eyes are about to pop from terror as he turns to scan for John Morrison who runs towards him when he spots him.

"Where's Jeff? Where's Phil?"

John's face is still paler than ever as he speaks out his horrified words. "Still inside the building. No one can find them."

"Hell, I'm coming in," Matt says, ready to jump inside of the building but John's hand is around Matt's hand as he shakes his head and they watch as the building ignites and after a few seconds, both of them run towards the building, in search of both silly wrestlers that seemed to have vanished…

* * *

"Jeff!"

"Phil!"

Both of them are now looking at each other as they look outside to see smoke and it's not too long after the fire infests the room that they're in, both of them holding onto each other for dear life, whimpering…

"What do we do?" Jeff asks, his eyes looking around as beads of sweat fall from his face and Phil looking for an exit, grabs onto Jeff's hand and pulls him out before meeting up with John and Matt.

"Come here."

Jeff goes with John and Matt goes with Phil, hands linked, they run off but a plank of fire falls on top of Jeff, causing him to shriek with horror as Matt tries to pull him out of the wood, and John grabs onto the fire extinguisher and sprays Jeff with it, the liquid falling against slightly burned skin as they continue to run for their lives.

* * *

It's only after they're all out that they've all decided to head to the house.

Gilbert sits on the chair as Jeff puts some sort of cream on his huge burn, trying to ignore its existence, it's a second-degree burn so touching it causes him pain and he flinches most of the time when anyone touches his shoulder but Jeff realizes that he could've died there and is thankful. Then he turns to Phil and embraces him, happy that he's alive, just celebrating it.

Jeff and Phil walk towards a couch and sit down as Gilbert sighs and looks at Matt. "I want Jeff to stay with me."

"What? The fire was not my fault! I didn't know—"

"I mean for the weekend. Just to see if he's fine. I need to see how much he's changed and I'll make my decision then if he should stay with you or not." Gilbert says, causing Matt to have his mouth open but he slowly nods his head, knowing that he has no other choice. "I know you want to prove that you and him are on good terms but I can't see anything. I can't see bad terms or good terms. I need to make sure what's best for Jeff…you understand, don't you?"

"I understand, 'Matt sighs once more, looking at Jeff and Phil as they watch some click flick and he shakes his head.

"Good." Matt walks towards Jeff and taps him on the shoulder, making Jeff look up at him, grinning widely, pink lips glowing against his skin and Matt smiles back at him, sitting down beside him, both of them now crammed on the couch and squeezed and squished together but Matt doesn't care. "Jeff…"

"Yeah?" Jeff smiles, grinning widely.

"I need you to pack your stuff. You're going to be with Dad for the weekend. He needs you around sport."

"Okay!"

Matt smiles. Jeff never takes these things the wrong way and now standing up and skipping upstairs to pack—his entire closet probably—and come back downstairs so that he and Gilbert could spend the weekend together and the only thing that scares the hell out of Matt is that he and Phil are going to be home—_alone_. For three days.

* * *

**Haha. I am so evil. Get Jeff out so that they can be alone. XD.**

**X Sam.**


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Past Of Phil Brooks

**I always forgot how to reply to question. Dammit. To NeroAnne, yez, the 'Circles' theory iz mah creation 'cause I'm too lazy to Google up something real besides, I wanted something that fit the story. XD. Also, girls, I have to tellz you something: I might update once more today since I had been working a lot on_'Circles' _for some reason so I can honestly say that there will be more drama stirring in the fic. Just a warning. XP!  
**

* * *

**ChapterThirteen**:_ThePastOfPhilBrooks_

* * *

That morning, as Phil stretches in his bed, he remembers that Jeff's not around so he has to pick his clothes by himself and with that, he steps out of his bed, opening his drawer and looking through the articles of clothing before pulling out black pants and a silver and white striped t-shirt, not being the type that knows what goes with what. He walks into the bathroom and showers quickly before looking at the clock and realizing that he'd woken up earlier than he'd expected but shrugs it off before he dresses and goes downstairs, seeing that he's all alone, he decides on making some sort of breakfast.

Phil takes out a stack of bread and looks for something to heat it up—he'd seen Matt use something before. Phil takes the bread over to the silver machine that Matt called a 'toaster' once. Phil lets his finger through it before he puts a piece of toast in it, waiting for it to heat up.

Matt walks into the room and wakes beside Phil.

"How long does this thing take?" Phil asks.

"Well, you didn't turn it on," Matt tries to suppress his laughter, standing in front of Phil and turning the object on, making Phil blush and feel like a moron. "You've never cooked before, have you?"

Phil shakes his head as strands of wet hair come into his face in shame. "Yeah, never cooked anything before."

"My poor Phil," Matt kisses Phil, making sure his tongue's entangled in his mouth and Phil tries not to kiss back but he gives in anyways and when Matt pulls away, a look of confusion furrows on his face. "What? Is there something wrong with the way I kiss or something?"

"Um…" 'You're using me. What should I do?' Phil flushes into a pink color once more.

"Talk to me."

Matt sits down and pulls his arms open and with that, Phil walks towards Matt, as Matt pulls Phil up his lap, kissing his cheek and running his hand through his back so that he feels comfortable. Phil's head is on Matt's shoulder as the silence engulfs the room. Matt breaks the silence.

"Is there something wrong with me, Phil?"

"I feel used."

Matt's eye snapped open as that as he looks at Phil. _'Phil knows. Shit.'_ And with that, he feels his cheeks redden as the silence engulfs them once more, making Phil bat his eyelashes. Both of them in their own thoughts and worlds as Phil snuggles into Matt's chest, thoughts running through his head and he finally breaks the silence. "I don't want to be used, Matt."

Matt lets out a sigh, 'look, I'm not going to use you. I swear."

"But—"Phil blinks, letting his eyes swim with a thousand emotions that he can't control, and Matt can see that as well as he can. "What if you do? I don't want to be hurt again. I'm tired of getting played around with like a toy…"

"I'm not going to hurt you."

Phil stares up and Matt and for a moment, he believes him and gives in, blushing furiously before he gets off of Matt, realizing how close they are. Matt chuckles before planting a light kiss onto Phil's lips and then turning around to face his hungry puppy dog as Lucas barks, making Phil run off and Matt laughs. "Isn't that adorable, Lucas?" Matt leans down, petting the dog behind his ears, 'he's scared of you."

With that, Matt pulls out Lucas's red plate and stuffs it with dog food before feeding the dog, watching as he starts eating the contents. Matt pulls out a leash and hooks it to Lucas's collar before exiting to find out where Phil had run off to.

* * *

Phil and Matt are curled up in the couch, blankets covering their bodies as him and Phil watch the season of 'Lost'. Phil doesn't watch much TV but he wants to know why Matt's so interested in the show and in most of the parts, he's more interested in reading the TV guide since he can't understand anything that's going on but Matt's eyes are practically glued to the screen.

"Matt?"

Still watching. Phil rolls his eyes.

"_Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatt_?"

He's still watching. Phil giggles and lets his hand reach down towards Matt's pants, letting his hand touch the flesh and at that, Matt recoils, staring down at Phil and shaking his head off. "Shh, watch!"

"It's boring!"

"What's boring? I love this show."

"It's_ booooooooooring."_ Phil emphasizes on the word and Matt sighs as he flips through channels before landing on 'Gossip Girl' and giving the remote to Phil and in the first few minutes, Matt falls asleep. Phil tries to shake Matt back into consciousness.

"What? Is it over yet?"

"Matt, I don't wanna watch this!"

"But it's a chick thing. I don't understand but you do."

Phil giggles but shakes his head. "I don't wanna watch this." He flips through channels and lands onto a movie stirring before a smile curves on his face, 'I watched this when I visited my aunt in California."

Matt blinks. "Harry Potter?"

Phil nods his head.

"Oh my God, you're a Harry Potter geek!"

Phil's smile drops and Matt laughs before pulling Phil to him and watching the movie with him. But midway, Phil has turned it off, the silence roaming as Phil presses his body against Matt's and kisses his lips lightly. He hears the dog bark in the kitchen and Phil presses his body even harder against Matt for protection and Matt laughs, kissing the top of Phil's forehead. "He's not going to hurt you."

"How do you know?" Phil asks, pouting.

"I don't know but hey, Lucas is a darling," Matt says, running his fingers through Phil's jet black hair as Phil sighs, his hot breath onto Matt's chest, 'Phil…I want to know why you're like this. I mean, you know—I want to know what happened before."

Phil's eyes snap open. He never expected Matt to ask him that, 'you want to know what happened to me before?"

"Yes. Your childhood."

"Or lack of it." Matt stares at Phil as Phil gives in and tells him the story, letting the silence roam on for a few moments before he launches into it. "Like I told you, I had a bad childhood. My parents are drunks and they didn't care about me. I didn't care about them. That's why I'm so 'emotionless' in your words. 'Cause I've never been cared for so I don't know how to care for others… this 'relationship' thing is new to me. This insane thing called 'love' is new to me also. And Chicago is dangerous at night. It's been scary I guess."

"And what about your father beating you up? And Verrel's debt?"

Phil looks down and continues his story. "My parents are so much in debt, yes. When my mother divorced him and she took me to parties, he kept on stalking me I guess. Since I'm not his son anymore, he can do anything to me. Hurt me. Butcher me. He won't care. That's the way he saw things…that I wasn't related to him anymore. And when it happened to be the opposite, my father taking care of me and my mother all alone to drink, he still did abuse me I guess. When they did get back together, I was glad. She toned down his abusive side. I guess he hit her, too… and Verrel's debt was because they bought cocaine, heroin, and alcohol from him and they expected me to just pay it off when I grew up but really, who'd hire me? I didn't have a job and I couldn't do it…hell, I stole most of my money after the car crash.

"After my parents' death, I went to spend time with my aunts who were rich. All of them were. I had five and I only spent my time with four, 'cause I didn't want to be hated by another one. Besides, my parents hated Andrea because of a fight in their wedding about it being stupid that they'd marry just because my mother was pregnant of me so I wasn't allowed to see her but she occasionally calls me and checks up on me. My parents make me lie and say that I'm doing fine—if I didn't say that, I would've gotten hurt and I knew it. My other aunts all treated even worse than my parents did, and so did my uncles, since they also think that I had something to do with my parents' death. Like Verrel, they think that just because I'm straightedge means that I hated my parents."

Matt stares at him as he runs his hand through Phil's back and kisses his forehead, 'my poor baby…don't worry, babydoll. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again. Okay? Just stop crying."

Phil doesn't even know that he's had tears cascading down his eyes until Matt points them out and Matt then leans down to lick off the tears, the taste of sadness all too bitter for him. Phil stands up and fixes his hair, walking upstairs, and Matt stares at him, 'where are you going?"

"Meeting up with Evan."

Matt laughs, 'so I guess Jeff was right about you taking a liking to Evan?"

Phil nods his head and Matt laughs once more as he watches the ravenette go upstairs to change his clothing and come back downstairs, hurrying outside because apparently, he seems to be late. Matt notices that Phil cleans up well, his once bloodshot, puffy eyes are better now and Matt sighs before taking his phone and calling his brother. "Hey, Jeff," Matt grins.

"_Hello, Matty!"_

Matt cringes at his nickname. "Where are you?"

"_With John. Playing poker with Dad."_

"Let me guess. Dad won?"

"_He's winning. Hey, Matt! That's offensive! I can win too if I want."_

"Suurrrrrre."

"_So, Matty, is there a reason for this conversation?"_

"Yes, he opened up to me."

"_Phil did?"_

"Yes, yes, he did."

"_Matty… hold up a second guys,"_ the sound of footsteps so Matt knows that Jeff's trying to be into a room all alone, _'now, Matt, I don't want him to get hurt and I don't want you to get hurt. Are you sure of this relationship?"_

"I'm not sure."

"_Take him out."_

"Out where?"

"_A date, Matt! A date! If it goes well, then stick together and if it doesn't then don't."_

"That's gold coming from the person that's had too many failed relationships before."

"_Matty!"_

"Just kidding, Jeffro. Goodnight."

"_Goodnight."_

* * *

**Yay for a date. X3. Second date. XP!**

**X Sam.**


	15. Chapter Fourteen: In Matt’s Thoughts

**And Ladies & gentlemen, the DATE! YAY! FINALLY! XD! XP!**

* * *

**ChapterFourteen**:_ProbingInMatt'sThoughts_

* * *

Matt walks in to wake his sleeping Phil up and he can't imagine how beautiful he looks when he's asleep. Matt knows that he's still somewhat using him, there's just something about Phil's body that makes him go insane but of course, he tries to refuse him many times and he doesn't know how long he can handle it. He likes Phil, he really does, but he doesn't know if he wants the sex more or the love. He's trying to keep his lust under control but it's proven to be hard for the ravenette.

That moment, Jeff enters the room, giggling.

"Jeff? Aren't you supposed to be in bed right now?"

"No! I mean, there's so much to go through! Phil's going out on a date which reminds me to go get him some pretty make up and nice clothes and—we've got so much to do! We have to go to the salon, do his hair, and fix his eyebrows and moustache—"

"Dammit, Jeff, I didn't say that I'll marry him." Matt says, laughing, as Jeff nudges Phil awake and when Phil sees Jeff, horror strikes.

"I'm not going on a date, Jeff. It's a friendly evening."

"It's a date. Now get up, wear something and meet me downstairs because me, John, Evan and you are going out to fix you up for your first _official_ date with Matt! No conventions! That's not a date! He's taking you to a nice restaurant and a slow, midnight walk and it's going be so cute that I'll want to puke my guts out from how cute it is! Chop chop! Let's not waste time!"

"It's six in the morning." Matt reminds Jeff.

"Dammit, we're two hours later already!"

Matt chuckles at Jeff as he pulls the sleeping Phil out of bed and takes him to the bathroom, locking the door, and looking for clothing while Matt walks out of the room, leaving them both alone with their bidding in their mind. Matt walks downstairs and finds Evan and John standing there, for some reason, since Phil and Jeff start matching, Evan and John have to match too. Apparently, the colors are aqua blue, lime green and soft purple. Colors of the ocean. That is cute when he thinks about it. But it's also freaky. _'Very freaky.'_

* * *

"Beige, gold, a sprinkle of white." Jeff decides as he tries to apply make up for Phil, making Phil move as the tip of the cold brush meets Phil's eyes, 'if you move one more time, I'm going to kill you."

"I hate this."

"Hate is a strong word but I really, really don't like you," Jeff sings, pouring a gold shade onto Phil's eyes before applying beige at the corners of his eyes then at the top, he applies a sprinkle of white before staring then applying a sprinkle of silver over the white. "Open your eyes."

"You're reading for tonight."

Jeff moves away to see his creation and since Phil doesn't like make up, Jeff only does his eyes, and the color gold seems to make his olive eyes pop out. Phil's clothing consists of a pair of short shorts that are beige so it fuses with Phil's natural flesh tone, a white top that has a golden vest over it, and golden boots. John's idea to make Phil wear all the metallic colors and Evan and Jeff agree.

"Oh, and if you mess yourself up, I am going to kill you, understand?"

Evan and John walk towards Phil and both of them start spraying a bottle of some sort of spray on Phil's hair and when Phil looks at the mirror, he raises an eyebrow, his hair has sparkles of silver and he looks at John and Evan who are now smirking at him as Jeff grabs onto Phil, dragging him to the restaurant that he'd booked for him and Phil.

* * *

When Phil and Matt meet, Jeff walks off, giggling.

Matt's eyes trail up and down Phil's clothing, now slightly embarrassed that his clothing is so casual but Phil claims that it's fine before they sit down in the most private table they can find. Matt orders some sort of Japanese rice that Phil doesn't really catch the name off and Phil orders a plate of pasta, not knowing what else to pick.

A nod from the waiter's head as he walks off, pulling on the curtains so that they can enjoy their privacy.

"So…"

"I hate Jeff." Phil jokes.

"Well, after all this, I guess you should. Good deal that Evan and John didn't come to check up on me. I think they would've ordered me to wear some sort of suit or something. I hate suits." Matt ends with a smile before taking a sip of his water.

"And you're doing this to see if our relationship is worth it."

"Jeff?"

"Jeff."

"I swear I should stop telling him things. He's full of gossip. Hell, they all gossip…especially Rhodes. Can't shut his mouth up for a second." Phil giggles as he takes a sip of his own water.

"Well, I like them."

"They gossip so much that they watch 'Gossip Girl' episodes two thousand times a day."

Phil giggles even more as he takes a crayon and draws onto the table, drawing a dog with blue lining before drawing a 'X' on top of it.

"You hate dog that much?"

"I've had a big phobia since I was five of them. I dunno…they just scare me and especially there's the fact that I used to be homeless so I'd always hear them barking. I just hate them. More than you can imagine."

"Hate is a strong word but I really, really don't like you…" Matt sings.

"I swear, that song should be dubbed as 'The Hardy Song' or something 'cause Jeff was just singing it earlier."

"Where do you think I got this habit from?"

A chorus of laughter fills the air as their food arrives and Phil watches as Matt engulfs the food before slowly eating his own. "You know, that's not healthy," Matt says after a spoonful of rice.

"What?"

"Eating so little. You eat half of what you're supposed to eat."

"Oh," Phil says and he knows it but he's so used to eating little that even with a big portion, he only eats a little bit of it out of habit. And halfway through his food, Phil puts his spoon down causing Matt to grab onto one of the spoon and stuffing a spoonful of pasta into Phil's mouth. "Hey!"

"You are eating the rest of this, even if I have to spoon-feed you."

"Matt!" Phil laughs at Matt takes another spoonful and pulls it into Phil's mouth, leaning closer and they're only inches away by the time that Matt takes a few more spoonful and by that time, Phil is protesting against it. "Come on! I can't have another bite!"

Matt takes a bite and then kisses Phil, making Phil taste the pasta that's in his mouth, and as they break away, Phil giggles. "That one was the best one."

"Now drink your soda."

Phil drinks the rest of his drink, gulping it down in seconds as Matt grins and when Phil's done, he kisses him once more. "Good boy, Phil."

"I'm not a doggie dog."

"I know. You don't even look like Lucas. Or maybe you are Lucas…did you reincarnate into Lucas? Can you turn into a dog and human? 'Cause I never get to see Lucas anymore with you around…you must be Lucas, aren't you? Then I know you like tuna! Lots and lots of tuna."

"But tuna is for cats." Phil replies, confused.

"Lucas likes it though. Odd dog. Now big a good boy so I can buy you some more tuna later on."

Phil nods his head, grinning. "Fine."

"Now what are we supposed to do?"

"In Jeff's words, 'moonlight walk'."

"Jeff should know that we are living in reality, not living into some cheap romantic comedy."

"Jeff's Jeff."

"True."

* * *

As they stride towards the park, staring at the lake that's there, both of them all alone, and they feel the peace around them. No one's around them and they sit on a bench near the lake. Phil's head onto Matt's shoulder as Matt's hand runs around Phil's side before he kisses onto Phil's forehead.

Matt stands up and takes Phil's hand, pulling him alongside of him.

They both sway to the silence of the lake, 'what made you want to dance?"

"I dunno. I just feel like it. And whatever Matt Hardy wants, Matt Hardy gets. Besides, I'm known for being romantic."

Phil giggles as Matt twirls Phil around before lifting him up.

"Hey, no fair! Put me down!"

"I will."

"Well?"

"I didn't say when."

Matt twirls Phil around even more as he lets go of Phil's waist and Phil's legs tumble down so that Phil falls into the lake, making Matt laugh.

"_MY OUTFIT!"_

With that, Matt turns his head around. "JEFFERY NERO HARDY, YOU ARE NOT SPYING ON US, ARE YOU?!"

"Pay no attention to the squirrels behind the bushes."

"Evan!"

"What?"

"That's like telling him where we are!"

"Pay no attention to the talking squirrels behind the bushes."

Matt shakes his head as he helps Phil up, who seems to have lost one of his boots into the lake and without looking for it, Matt shushes Phil and gets him on his back, walking off.

"Are they still there?"

"I dunno! You check!"

"John! I'm not checking!"

"They already know that we're here, boys."

"No, we're the talking squirrels!"

"There is no such things…"

"Chirp, chirp…"

"I thought we were squirrels, not birds."

"Same thing."

"Have you by any chance passed elementary school, Evan?"

* * *

Matt has Phil on his back as he walks to his house and by the time that he'd reached Phil's room, Phil has been asleep and he lies him down and just at a moment of curiosity, his hand reaches at the hem of Phil's shirt and he pulls it off, seeing Phil's pale skin. He knows that he's invading Phil's privacy but he can't help it.

'_What you going to tell him when he wakes up? 'Oh, I changed your clothes when you're asleep, I hope you don't mind that but I saw your entire naked body'?'_

Matt shakes his head.

'_Just tell him that Jeff did it. Jeff already knows how he looks like naked. Yeah, right, Jeff! That'll work!'_

With that, Matt strips Phil down, even tearing off his wet underwear then stepping back to stare at the naked Phil. He knows that he's a heavy sleeper, something that Jeff has told him before. Matt looks through the drawer and pulls out Phil's yellow pajamas before dressing him into the t-shirt and shorts, leaving him in the satin, glowing due to the moonlight escaping from the window.

'_Dammit, he's so fucking beautiful.'_

Matt kisses his lips as lightly as he can before walking out to see Jeff standing there with a scowl on his face.

"You know, he won't appreciate knowing that you stripped them and changed his clothes."

"Come on, Jeff…"

"No, you're using him! You said that you wouldn't use him, Matt."

"Are you going to tell?"

"If you don't straighten out soon, yeah. But in the meantime, you tell him that I changed his clothes, fine. You invaded Phil's privacy, Matty. That's not right."

"I hate to admit it, brat but you're right."

Jeff walks out. "I have to go, Dad's waiting for me and I won't mention any of this to anyone but I will tell Phil if you continue to act like he's just a sex toy."

Matt looks back at Phil, staring at his angelic face as he falls asleep and he knows that Jeff's right, that he shouldn't be using Phil for just sex, but there's just something in him that tells him that he can't change and what does Jeff know? Jeff acts the same way…well, there's the fact that Randy does know it's just for the sex but then again, it's still coming from a person that's exactly like him. He slams the door shut and walks towards Phil, hugging him and kissing the back of his neck. "Dammit, what am I going to do?"

Changing is hard and right now, he's unsure if he does want to change.

* * *

**XP! Some humor, some romance, some fluff & some drama! EVERYTHING CRAMMED INTO ONE CHAPTER. XD!**

**X Sam.**


	16. Chapter Fifteen: A Talk With Matt

**Long time no see, huh? Anyways, Happy New Year! **

* * *

**ChapterFifteen**_:ACall&ATalkWithMatt_

* * *

Matt watches as Phil slowly wakes up from sleep, and Matt kisses his cheek, telling him his fake story, that Phil had fallen asleep on his back and Jeff came around to change his clothing since he finds out that it's infectious to Phil if he stays in wet clothing and with that, Phil lets out a soft smile. "I had fun last night."

"Yeah, me too," Matt steps out of the bed and kisses his lips lightly. "I'll go make some breakfast. Do you want eggs?"

Phil nods his head as he sits up and stretches out and Matt kisses him once more, just loving him in the yellow pajamas, they're quite provoking, the satin that hugs against his skin all too beautifully. "You don't have to shower, you know, you took such a bath yesterday."

"I'll shower tonight. I don't feel like it this morning." Phil responds.

Matt just doesn't know why Phil doesn't get that he's silently provoking him in those clothes—and that's why Matt doesn't want Phil to shower. If he doesn't shower this morning, then he doesn't need to change his clothing. He knows that it's sneaky but he can't help it. Phil looks so—_ugh!_

During breakfast, a cell phone rings and Phil reaches in, taking out his before he stands up and walks out, apparently, he wants the call to be private and Matt tries to pretend that doesn't annoy him but hell, what does he have to do with Phil's calls? _'You're his boyfriend. He's yours. Link it together. Hello.'_ Matt takes a quick breath as he continues to eat through his scrambled eggs and eating through his slightly burned toast and then smiling when Phil comes back with a pale, sad face and sitting down onto the chair, now playing with his food and between minutes, he takes a tiny two to three bites.

"What's wrong?" Matt can't help it. He doesn't care if he's breaking beyond the barrier and he's invading Phil's privacy anymore. _'Of course, 'cause you saw him fucking naked yesterday.' _

Matt's eyes are now undressing Phil, he knows how his skin looks like, and he'd touched it even, soft and delicate, smooth and downy…and when he'd seen Phil's perfectly toned ass, he knows that all he does want to do is ram into him, hard, and at that thought, Matt bites his lip. "Me and my aunt talked. You know. Andrea. Apparently, the rest of my aunts died, even my uncles. I didn't even fucking know. It was a huge accident—but they're gone and so is her husband. Andrea has cancer. Fuck, I only have one family member left and I can't even see her anymore…" Phil's voice softens.

"They died?" Matt doesn't want to ask how.

"Yeah, apparently, they had a party after kicking out some biker boys and Andrea needed to go home 'cause she felt sick because of her pregnancy. Her husband stayed and so did the others. The bikers came back, said they didn't take shit from anyone and killed them all, massacred them. When Andrea realized she had cancer, she had an abortion because her child would have cancer too and she didn't want to pass it on to her."

Matt's hand touches Phil's as Matt moves towards Phil, embracing him. He smells the sweet scent of his skin, the pure honey that's attached before kissing onto his nose. "It's not fair…" Phil mumbles. "People have families and children and—and—I don't have anything! Nothing at all! I want my family back! I'm the last descendant of my family and oh fuck, I'm so damn scared…"

"Scared?" Matt repeats, as Phil nods his head.

"They're all dead and Andrea's dying…what if something happens to me? I already have HI-fucking-V who knows what infection could kill me. I know this is some sort of sign. My family is fucked up so I'm supposed to be fucked up, too…"

"God, Phil…don't worry, you'll be fine."

"I won't! I won't be fine!"

"You have a family. You have me and Jeff and my own Dad if you'd like." Matt says, lifting Phil's chin so that their eyes meet and Phil twists his head.

"What brother fucked his other brother?" Matt knows that he's taking about him and Jeff. "What brother is dating his older brother?" and now, he's talking about them, Matt and Phil and he doesn't even have to say anything about Gilbert, who barely knows his existence, and who doesn't even treat him like a son. Phil stands up while Matt holds onto his shoulder, and lets out a breath of warmth onto Phil's skin, making him shudder with pleasure.

"It isn't fair." Phil repeats.

"Don't worry, Phil. You're not going to die."

"I am! I can feel it in my veins—I am going to die and I'm so fucking scared about it!"

Matt lifts Phil's lips and kisses him, letting his arms wrap around Phil's waist, the kiss almost melting away both of their problems as Phil stands up so that their tongues are closer to each other. Matt pulls away, breathless and in Phil's ear, whispers his name, all too beautifully, 'Phil…"

A call breaks them both away from each other as Matt picks up the phone to answer Jeff.

"_How are a certain two doing?"_ Jeff asks, giggling that all too famous giggle of his, making Matt roll his eyes.

"Lucas and Phil? Bad."

"_Phil and you! What's going on right now?"_

"Phil's thinking that he's going to die. Apparently, his aunts and uncles have been battered in some massacre party by some bikers and Andrea is Phil's only aunt left and she has cancer."

"_Poor Phil…I'd be scared shitless too."_

"What do you want me to do?"

"_Take him to his aunt!"_

"What?!"

"_Matt… you need to learn how to connect with people. Take Phil to his aunt in…"_

"California."

"_Still! It's in the USA. Take him there! You're practically rich. Come on. Poor Phil needs reassurance!"_

"Jeff…California, shit…"

"_You're in a real relationship with him. You have to show him that you can be serious. Besides, if you can do it then do it! You shouldn't care about anything else than making Phil happy."_

"Phil is happy."

A various chorus of sobs can be heard.

"_Yes, he's so happy that he's sobbing from joy. It's just a suggestion anyway."_

"Good, 'cause I'm not doing it." Matt shuts the phone and looks at Phil, seeing the pure sadness that's plastered on his face before he goes for a walk outside in the garden, seeing Lucas bark and yelp at Matt angrily before Matt leans down to stroke his ears, apparently, he'd been eating well. He flips his phone open. "Cody? Yeah, can you take care of Lucas for me? I'm going to travel…"

* * *

Phil had gone out for a walk and just now, is returning home and when he steps in, he finds two large trolleys, while Matt smiles at Phil. "Okay, let's go, or do you need to change?"

Phil looks down at his clothing, faded jeans, simply graphic t-shirt and white sneakers. "Where are we going?"

"Airport."

"What? Why?"

"I'm taking you to California to visit your aunt, Andrea. Now, come on, help me load these in my car before we go," and with tears almost falling from Phil's eyes, he nods his head, pulling his own trolley and Matt pulling his own and Matt unloads it in the back of the trunk, both of them driving to their destination. And Matt just can't help but stare at Phil's face, glowing healthy, a smile so bright that the sun looks dull. Matt lets his smile widen as he drives off. _'Thank you, Jeff.'_

* * *

During the airplane flight, Phil looks slightly tense as he looks back at Matt, grinning at him as he kisses him lightly onto the lips and his face is still glowing despite the fact that he'd been scared of airplanes since it's his first time on one, but he's just absolutely thrilled about seeing his sick aunt. And with Matt's hands run along Phil's back, Matt finally asks, 'is something bothering you?"

"Don't tell her I used to be homeless, Matty. She'll start saying that I should stay with her. I don't want that! I want to stay with you and Jeff…or…maybe I should stay with her-"

"No, I love you staying around."

"Am I a burden?" Phil asks, his eyes set on Matt's, 'and I don't want anything to comfort me. I want the truth! Am I really causing you a lot of trouble since I've gotten here? Do you think it's better off if you don't know me?"

Matt just stares at him. "Phil, me and Jeff both like you but…you are a burden on me. Still, I think you're worth it."

"_Think_, 'Phil repeats. "But I'm not worth it…maybe I should just stay at her house. But until then, just don't tell her two things. That I used to be homeless and that I'm gay. My family absolutely hates gay people…another reason why they're all against me. I'm the opposite of them. I do everything they tell me not to do…"

"Oh, Phil, 'Matt kisses Phil's hair. "Just rest up. We still have a long flight ahead of us, okay? And you look pretty tired. When they bring the food around, I'll wake you up, fine, darling?" Phil nods his head as he snuggles towards Matt's shoulder and Matt smiles as he watches Phil snuggle up to him. His precious Phil. _'What am I doing? Using him like this…'_ but Matt doesn't know how to get out of his own habits.

* * *

Andrea grins as Phil and Matt enter her house, 'oh hello, darlings!" she turns to Matt and embraces him. "Thank you for bringing our last family member here—Phil's grown up. He looks so different than he did last year! Do you want something to eat?"

Both of them shake their heads. "Actually, Phil and I were just going to go to bed."

With that, Andrea guides them to two separate rooms and as Phil says, the lady's rich, her bedrooms are huge and the beds are huge, the room is decorated fairly beautifully, with tons of golden, beige and white colors and as Matt nods his head, he sits down and pulls his trolley with him, sitting it down and looking for his pajamas while Andrea takes Phil to the room on the opposite of Matt's.

When it has flashed 4:00 in the morning, Matt has slipped out of bed, in a navy blue sweatshirt and black sweatpants, he steps out and goes into Phil's room, shutting it up to see Phil in one of his nightwear, instead of yellow, he's wearing a blue satin t-shirt and short shorts, his legs exposed and his hair flying around. Matt leans down to plant a soft kiss on his lips before slipping beside him, putting his hand into Phil's shorts, feeling the skin of his ass.

'_Dammit. Soft. Softer than ever. So damn delicate.'_

Matt leans down and bites Phil's neck and starts nibbling onto it, slipping his hand out and starting to shake Phil into consciousness and after a while, Phil finally does wake up, shifting so that he can see Matt.

"If she finds us, we're screwed."

"Feels like in high school when you run away from home to see your boyfriend and your father is following your every movement…"

Phil raises an eyebrow.

"Long story."

Matt leans down to kiss him once more, earning a soft moan that Phil tries to suppress as Matt gets on top of Phil, running his hand through his side. "Besides, we're only doing this for three days before we go home, what's the worst that can happen?"

"You told Jeff about this?"

Matt nods his head. "Dad's actually thrilled having him over even longer."

"Matt, I love this relationship stuff. For once, I can feel this actual connection with you without fucking. And you're right. I should wait for it and I know that I'm not going to sleep with you for a long time."

With that, Matt shuts his eyes.

'_Dammit! Why does this always have to happen?! I want him in bed __**now**__.'_

Phil closes his eyes and starts to fall asleep, while Matt lays beside him, yearning to touch Phil's body and when Phil does fall asleep, Matt's hand slip under the hem of his shirt, feeling every part of his body and he feels so perfectly. He slips his hand into Phil's underwear, feeling his cock.

'_Damn. Damn. Damn.'_

* * *

**Matt isn't learning his lesson. XP! This would've been an awesome Hardycest idea. XD. But no, I prefer ChipMUNK. Also…review? I guess Matt is being so damn evil right now. Using Philly. XP! **

**X Sam.**


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Graveyards & Coffee

**Um...next chapter?**

* * *

**ChapterSixteen**:_Graveyards&Coffee_

* * *

That morning, Phil wakes up to an empty bed and smiles. Matt's good at this sneaking around things and with that, he stands up and goes to shower, trying to find the most boyish clothes he can find, cross-dressing is another term for gay for Andrea, and when he can't find anything, he grabs a towel and walks towards Matt's room, finding Matt in black pants and a black button-down. "Can I borrow some clothes?"

Matt nods his head and pulls out a navy sweater and black pants, handing them over to Matt. "Hey, instead of running towards your room, you can just change here."

"Um…"

"What? Don't trust me?" 'He shouldn't.'

Matt then turns around and drops his towel and he manages to sneak a glance as Phil is too occupied dressing up, before Matt remembers that he hadn't given him any underwear but Phil doesn't seem to care. _'A homeless habit maybe?'_ before he sees that Phil's walking outside so he follows him.

"We're going to go see Chase."

"Chase?"

"That's the name of Andrea's husband. They all got buried in the same place, even my parents are there, 'Phil shudders before turning to Matt. "They think it's nice that an entire family, bonded with so much, is together even in peace. I'm not part of it so I can get buried wherever. No one really cares if I die."

"Don't say that! I care!"

Phil smiles at him before kissing him, 'and I care about you."

They pick up some breakfast, a cheese sandwich for each, before arriving at the cemetery and Andrea steps out, moving towards her husband's grave while Matt and Phil move towards Phil's parents' grave, seeing their gravestones engraved in the hard stone.

_RIP  
MARQUEZ BROOKS  
Loving son, father and brother  
1964-2009  
May he be in peace with his wife_

_RIP  
HELENA BROOKS  
Loving mother, daughter and sister  
1968-2009  
May she be in peace with her husband_

"Loving my ass, 'Matt says, staring at the engraved words before turning to Phil who seems to be in some sort of pain. "You don't miss them, do you? They treated you like shit. How could you miss them?"

"I don't know. I'm just an idiot like that, okay?" Phil twists his head around and Matt notices that he really is hurt before he hugs him, embracing him, 'they're gone…my entire family is gone…and Andrea's dying…what in hell's name do I do? I'm going to be buried in some cemetery soon. I'm so scared, Matty…"

"Don't be, baby. Come on, let's go back to the car."

Phil nods his head as Matt says that he's dropped something and as Phil disappears, Matt leans down to the gravestones. "I guess I'm not worse than you both, using Phil like this…we're in a relationship and he's just sex to me…what happens if I do sleep with him? I don't know…I guess you're enjoying your son being tortured senselessly by my hard to leave habits."

"Matt! You said you'd come!" Phil calls from the car.

Matt twists his head and nods before walking towards the car and sitting in the back, starting with a make out session, making sure that his tongue's entwisted into Phil's in the most passionate way he can kiss him, and then—

"OH MY GODNESS!"

Matt and Phil pull apart to see Andrea's pale shocked face.

"Oh shit." Matt mumbles underneath his breath as Phil pulls away from him, blushing into a pink color, and Andrea steps into the car, not saying anything throughout the ride home but when they're both at home, Andrea speaks out, 'wait, so you're both together?"

"Yes," Matt says before Phil can say anything else.

"How dare you, Phil? A gay relationship? How are you going to have children? How are you going to carry on our family name to another tradition? Hell, if you decide to marry a man, you won't even have Brooks as your last name, will you?"

Phil hangs his head down, 'but-but I like Matt a lot—"

"Speak nothing of it! You are staying with me because apparently, this Matt character has gotten you into things that are very unlike you. You seem more distant and depressed with him around! I will not let my nephew suffer this badly! Phil, you go upstairs while I have a talk with Matthew."

With that, Phil knows that he can't protest and walks off.

Matt and Andrea sit down and the scowl on Andrea's face doesn't fade off as Matt tries to explain himself. "Hey, I'm not letting you take Phil away from me. He doesn't like girls. Hell, he is a girl half the time. I have no intentions of hurting him and he's a very sweet boy. Phil deserves to decide!"

"Fine! He decides but you'll see… I know my Phil, he'll decide to stay with me, safe away from your gay little society! Horrible! Just plain horrible!"

Matt's face is now hardening as he walks upstairs to Phil's room and watches him on the side of his bed, his feet playing with a tiny red ball and Matt slams the door shut, walking over to Phil and rubbing his hand through his back, trying to explain the situation to him. "She wants you to stay…and I want you to leave. We both agreed that you should decide on what's to happen."

Phil turns his head to look at Matt, 'I'm not sure anymore."

"Phil, just come with me, 'Matt leans down to kiss him, both of them starting to make out as passionately as they can before Matt pulls away. "I don't want to lose you. See? You'll be hurting me so bad if you leave right now…"

Andrea wakes in with a tray of coffee and she places it down onto a table, 'I think you might need some coffee, darling." She kisses the top of Phil's head before stepping out, scowling at Matt once. Once Andrea is out of the room, Matt starts to speak again.

"You know that she hates you because you're gay. She's only acting sweet so you can stay. You're going to get treated like shit around here. I can just feel it."

Phil turns around to Matt, his eyes now bubbling with tears that threaten to fall any second, 'but I deserve it! I deserve being treated like shit! That's what I fucking am!"

Matt's astounded by Phil's sudden outburst and the way the words roll off his tongue, Phil desperately sounds like he wants to be dead and that pains Matt more than anything, knowing that someone as dear as Phil to him thinks that he should be treated any less of a human he is.

Matt takes the cup of coffee and places it between Phil's hands, 'hey, drink this. You'll feel better."

And with that, Phil sips the drink, softly taking sips of it until it's finished and by that time, Phil still feels sleepy so he walks into the bathroom and slips out of it with navy short shorts and a camisole, the cotton fabric hugging every bit of his curves perfectly as he lays onto bed, ready to fall asleep and Matt lays beside him, hands onto Phil's hips, bringing him close, Matt's breath onto Phil's skin as he falls asleep.

* * *

**Not a very long chapter but hell, Phil has been given a choice. The ones that have most things happening in them are shorter than longer ones for some reason. XD! It's always been this way, no? XP! Weird logic.**

**X Sam.**


	18. Chapter Seventeen: Passion & Fluffy

**Thanksies for the reviewz. You are all awessssssomeeeee... X3. Mizzy: meh too...X333. *slaps him* Mizzy: even with a red mark, I'm still awesome!**

* * *

**ChapterSeventeen**:_PassionFilled&Fluffy_

* * *

That morning, Phil feels Matt's lips make its way towards his neck, kissing him softly before pulling off and Matt stares as Phil stands up, 'hey, Phil…did you think about if you're staying or leaving?"

Phil wakes into the bathroom, taking one of his cross-dressing clothing, a green t-shirt and a pair of purple pants before walking into the bathroom and changing, still talking to Matt, 'I'm unsure still. This is a big leap and I don't know if I can make it."

Phil steps out of the room and Matt's hands wrap around Phil's hips before he kisses him softly, 'you look beautiful."

Phil blushes before he pulls himself out of Matt's grip, Matt's eyes on Phil's girly thighs that he'd wanted to touch that morning, his pants is tight around his thighs so Matt can see the perfect curve of them, and it's driving him insane knowing that he can't run his hand through it, to feel the warmth he knows will be there.

Phil and Matt walk downstairs to eat breakfast and Matt's eyes are onto Phil's, wondering what are they about to do today. He's very unsure but he's sure that he wants to wow Phil, that he won't let Andrea take his Phil away from him, not at all. And as Matt's arms hug around Phil's waist before he kisses him in front of Andrea, Phil kisses back in the hungry kiss before he pulls apart. Andrea stares at them with disgust. "I'm going to go shop later. Are you both coming?"

"Sure!"

Matt grimaces in disgust. If there's anything in the world he hates the most, it's shopping. He hates it, especially in the morning and would only go out if Jeff really won't let him sleep the night before. But at this occasion, Matt agrees to go with him, knowing that he'd regret his decision later.

* * *

"What do you think, Phil?"

Andrea is trying on green tops, a t-shirt and a shirt, wondering which one looks better at her and for around an hour, she's been debating on which one looks better and Matt's eyes are about to drop as his stomach growls and he grabs onto Phil's wrist, pulling him outside and heading to his destination but when Matt sees a black sweater in a store, he walks in and checks it while Phil giggles and follows him.

Phil finds a pair of pajamas that seem to fit him and tries them on, while Matt follows him into the men's dressing rooms. "Phil, can I see?"

Phil opens the door and waves his hand in a 'come inside' motion and as Matt walks inside, he realizes why Phil wants him inside now. A black camisole with a pink bunny design in the middle, the stomach is made entirely out of lace and his shorts are cotton, 'well? What do you think—?"

Phil feels Matt push him towards the door and start kissing him hungrily. Phil giggles in the kiss before he starts kissing Matt back, letting Matt's hands wrap around Phil's waist before Matt's hands slowly play with the elastic on Phil's shorts, made entirely out of lace, Matt feels the fabric and before Phil can say anything, Matt pulls it down, exposing Phil's pink underwear.

Phil's face turns into the same soft color as Matt leans down to pull it down, his hand grabbing onto Phil's cock. "But-but—what about all that stuff about waiting? I want to wait, Matt."

"Shh, sex will be good. I promise I'll be gentle and loving."

There's some sort of desperation into Matt's voice and that's when he looks at the mirror for good this time and realizes what he's really been wearing and what it's really been showing off, endless curves, no wonder Matt's so seductive into his trance. He won't blame him and as Matt pulls down his own pants and boxers, leaving his exposed ass and cock in the open, Phil's eyes widen.

Matt throws his clothing in the corner and Phil's feet makes the his underwear and the shorts slide towards there before Matt allows Phil to touch his cock and it feels so good in Phil's soft hands. Matt throws off Phil's top, leaving him in nothing at all, and Matt throws his own top away, smirking. That's it. He has him right where he wants him. Matt's teeth start biting onto Phil's sensitive skin, loving hearing Phil's moaning and he knows that the people outside are probably puzzled but he doesn't care. He loves to hear Phil moan and as long as they can't open the door, they can't do anything about it.

Phil tries to suppress his moans, he really does but Matt's bites are so rough against his all too sensitive skin and it feels so damn good. Matt's finger trails along Phil's ass as his other hand cups one of his ass, Matt's finger shoves itself inside of Phil's unprepared hole. So much for being loving and gentle. Phil bites down his lower lip, trying to distract himself from moaning out Matt's name before Matt lets another two fingers push inside of Phil's warm and tight ass.

Matt allows himself to shove his dick as he feels Phil's warmth and tightness fully and Phil bites his lips so damn hard that he looks like he's going to bleed as Matt pulls himself in and out, speeding with every second, slamming him harder and harder into the door until the door threatens to break and he shuts his eyes after every thrust—except at one hard and fast thrust that Phil finds himself screaming Matt's name.

With that sound, Matt comes inside of Phil and at Matt coming his load of heat into Phil, Phil lets his own load pour down. Both of them satisfied, Matt leans down to dress himself and Phil tries to steady his breaths before he starts wearing his clothes before meeting up with Andrea.

"Where have you two been?"

At that, both blush and follow Andrea into the food court. "Good, 'cause I'm starving!" Matt exclaims, leaning down into Phil's ear, 'especially after that."

Matt's still hot breath sends a shiver of warmth down Phil's spine as Matt runs towards the food court and Phil laughs before he runs alongside of him, both of them moving towards a table and trying to get a quick meal before they know they have to head home.

* * *

That night, Matt steps into bed with Phil, who decides to sleep in sweats tonight so not much of his skin is exposed but Matt's content now that they've had sex. That night, as Phil falls asleep, Matt turns to his thoughts. Now that he and Phil had had sex, he seems less and less desirable by the minute.

'_See? You were fucking using him!'_

Matt doesn't know if he should break it off or not. Phil seems sweet and he knows that he likes him but not much anymore now that they've both slept with each other. He knows that he'd be hurting Phil's feelings but what can he do? He doesn't feel anymore attraction. Maybe that's all it ever is, attraction, lust, nothing more beyond that.

Matt bites his lower lip as he rolls on the other side of the bed. _'Dammit, what in hell's name are you going to do, Matt?'_

He can't leave Phil then Jeff would know and Gilbert would know then Jeff would stay with him forever yet he can't stay with Phil forever—maybe he should make Phil want to stay with Andrea. That's what he'd do. He'd made Phil want to stay home with Andrea…but how? Matt shakes his head as he feels Phil move towards him, 'thinking?" Phil asks.

"Yeah," Matt chuckles before he turns around and Phil hugs him.

"You're right. I loved the sex but I love being with you more than anything, 'Phil says, snuggling to Matt's body and Matt wishes that he can say something, anything, but he doesn't want to lie anymore and at the same time, he has no other choice but to lie as he runs his hand through the ravenette's hair. And that's when Phil says those words that makes Matt's heart melt, 'you weren't using me. I know."

'_I was using you. You just like me too much not to see it.'_

"Goodnight, Matt."

"Goodnight, Phil."

* * *

**What's up with my chapters being short? We need long ones! Hell, I could add Chapter 16 and 17 together but since they both have too much to bear in one chapter, I separated them. Besides, the sex makes up for it, no? Actually, it waz very bad & written exactly before I went to bed. XP!**

**X Sam. **


	19. Chapter Eighteen: We Can Make It

**You know the last few chapters I've done these last few chapters all in one day? This is the last one I've done that day. Then it goes to meh thinking! XP!**

* * *

**ChapterEighteen**:_WeCanMakeIt_

* * *

Andrea and Matt sit across the couch as Matt takes a sip of his coffee before bouncing back and forth at himself and Andrea as Andrea pulls out a red plastic bag and Matt furrows his eyebrows as Andrea takes out a huge white teddy bear, 'as my form of an apology for acting…um…bitchy…true, I still want Phil around but doesn't give me an excuse to be horrible to my opponent."

Matt nods his head as he takes the huge, fluffy teddy bear, 'thanks. I had being rivals with—pretty much anyone."

Andrea grins as Matt stands up and said something about seeing if Phil's awake before walking to Phil's room, seeing Phil holding up a book of some sort and reading, Matt pushes himself in the door and drops the huge teddy bear, Phil giggles as Matt walks inside and sits by him, looking at the book, _'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows'_. Matt takes the book from Phil's hands after Phil's bookmarked the page, 'so this is the last book in the series?"

Phil nods his head. "Yeah, now, give it back. I wanna read it."

"Are you going to spend the entire day just reading?" Matt asks, and Phil nods his head before snatching the book from Matt's hands and opening to the page he's in, sinking besides the pillow, making Matt laugh. "What? This is the only thing that links me and my mother together."

"She was a Harry Potter geek?"

"She liked reading and she often buys books that she doesn't like so she gave it to me. How'd you think I learned my education? The normal education I took it from the street but I developed it with books so they were a huge part of my childhood. Especially Harry Potter books."

"In other words, you were a geek even if you were homeless."

Phil slaps Matt's cheek lightly, 'well, now, you're together with this 'geek' so joke's on you."

"Touché, 'Matt leans down, cupping Phil's cheek before kissing him lightly on the lips and Phil deepens the kiss more than it already is, both of their bodies pressing against each other gracefully. "Hey, Phil, do you mind if I take you out today? Let's go ice skating! What do you think?"

"Sounds great, just that I don't know how to skate, 'Phil blushes.

"Come on! Just dress up into warm clothes and I'll take you there, and teach you there, fine, darling?"

Phil nods his head as he picks up a few things from his trolley, beige pants, a red belt, red t-shirt with some sort of white writing on it and a beige jacket and red underwear. He steps inside and shuts the door, the sound of water running and Matt shuts the door before he looks down at the white teddy bear, giant, watching with its glassy eyes. "You know how guilty I feel?" he says to the bear, stroking between the bear's ears, feeling as if this is Lucas he's talking to. "I feel so damn guilty. I mean—Phil thinks I like him more than ever, he feels as if my feeling is stronger for him than reality, but in reality, it's all gone after the sex…fuck, what do I do, Luke? I am using him. I used him—and I don't know how I can get out of this habit! Maybe Phil and I aren't meant to be…but if I tell Phil then he'll leave and—I probably won't get Jeff back. I'm going to be living in shambles."

At that moment, he hears the sound of the door opening and he turns around to see that Phil's completely and utterly dressed, before Matt smiles and goes to wear his clothing, a brown and orange lined sweatshirt and a pair of beige cargo pants and black shoes before walking over to Phil and pulling him alongside of him, both of them going downstairs to their destination.

* * *

"Okay, Phil, just take a quick breath and come in."

Matt's hands are grabbing onto Phil's as he takes Phil's hands and pulls him to the ice ring, Phil's hand is on the edge, holding onto it for his dear life while Matt laughs and tries to pull him alongside of him. "Hey, if you fall down, just fall down on me, fine?"

"No. I'm not leaving this place."

"Come on, Phil. Live a little."

"I'm living and I want to be alive by the time I'm out of here."

"You won't kill yourself."

"And how do you know?"

"Phil!"

"Fine, fine," Phil lets Matt grab his hands and skate him towards the center of the ring, Phil holding onto Matt as tight as he can for his dear life and even if Matt finds it hard to skate, he still allows Phil to do so, loving the rush of warmth he feels when Phil's holding him this tightly and as Matt stops at the edge, Phil still grips tightly. "Phil, do you want me to teach you or do you want to hold on to me?"

"Hold on is good."

"Phil…"

"No, I'm serious."

Phil's so quick with his answers that it's cute.

"Come on, Phil. Hand by hand, let's skate."

"In your dreams."

"Fine," Matt says, ready to pull himself out of the ice skating ring and Phil's behind him and Matt turns around and pulls Phil's waist, lifting him up into the air as he starts skating back towards the center.

"Put me down!"

"Fat chance, darling!"

"Put me down this instant, Matthew Moore Hardy!"

"No."

"Come on! Please?"

"No!"

"You are so damn stubborn!"

"That's me alright!"

"Bastard."

"That's me, too!"

With that, Matt goes through the other exit and Phil falls down onto the floor when he tries to walk but takes off his shoes and exchanges his skating shoes for his normal black sneakers and Phil kisses onto his shoes, 'yes, my babies! I am never taking you off to exchange you for those devil shoes ever again."

"It wasn't that bad," Matt says, exchanging his blue ice skating shoes for his black Converse, before sitting down and lacing them down, making Phil sit down beside him and kiss onto his neck, nibbling, making Matt moan. "You hated it that much and you're that happy to be back on the ground?"

"Yes! And don't ever take me here again!"

"Let's go have some dinner, baby."

"Dinner?"

"By the time that we get back there, it'll probably be about dinner time and besides, I need to buy something for Jeff or he'll eat me for 'being selfish and not thinking of him' again. And you know how hard it is for me to find a gift for Jeff. Whatever I buy him, he hates…wait, you're a girl, you can tell me what Jeff will like!"

Phil rolls his eyes. "I'm not a girl, one. Two, I may like wearing skirts and dresses but I hate make up so don't ask me about make up. Three, which store are we going to?"

* * *

Matt looks through the chick clothing, unable to decide which one he should buy before he pulls out a black sweater and a blue one, 'which one?" he asks Phil.

Phil shakes his head and looks at them before shaking his head once more and disappearing while Matt inspects the articles of clothing. The fabric? Cotton, the colors are nice and it covers, besides, he hates all those showing off clothing that Jeff wears. He needs something that covers his body and Phil returns with a tight dress, one with a sleeve and the other with no sleeve at all, and it's cutting off diagonally, a short skirt, and in black, and Matt smirks. "For you? I won't mind spending a little bit…"

"For Jeff."

"Hell no!"

"He adores things like this."

"No! No! No!"

"I'm walking over to the cashier."

"No!"

Phil hands over the article of clothing and pulls out the money for it while Matt's eyes feel as if they're going to pop out of his head, thinking that his brother might wear something like this, that shows off most of his legs and his arm and even a little bit of his chest. 'Hell no.' And Phil moves away, smirking at Matt. "I bought it."

"You're keeping it for you, to excite me."

"No."

"But—"

"No."

"Jeff's too young!"

"Jeff's older than me. And he's thirty two. He can handle it."

"Why do you hate me?"

"'Cause you took me out ice skating when I specifically said that I couldn't skate and you made me love my shoes so much that I kissed them."

Matt sulks as Phil laughs before entering off into the dark night and Matt and him hop off to the café next door to drink and eat something simple since neither of them feel hungry after pausing throughout ice skating and eating chocolate and candy. They order two lattes and a few biscuits, both of them pressing against each other as Matt leans down to bite Phil's ear.

"Stop it, everyone's watching," Phil says.

"It's fine. They're biting biscuits. I bite my Phil."

Phil blushes as the waitress brings them their orders and Phil doesn't even have to wait before drinking the warm latte, drinking the warm liquid and biting through a cold biscuit every few moments. Matt's drinking but his eyes are on Phil's face and then towards his body and he realizes that he finally does feel some sort of spark, a connection, being so warm when he's inches away, his used to be only lust has evolved into something more—Matt sighs a sigh of relief before he leans down to capture Phil's lips into a quick, chaste kiss.

"What was that for?"

"For being you."

Because Phil being Phil is the only thing that sets Phil apart from everyone, Phil isn't the type of person to hide his identity and put on a mask, even if he does occasionally wear his CM Punk mask in the ring, outside, he's just Phil and Matt absolutely adores that about him, that he won't change for anyone and can't stand the fact of changing for anyone. And when they're at home, sleeping in each other's arms, it seems worth it. Completely and utterly worth it.

* * *

**X3.**

**X Sam.**


	20. Chapter Nineteen: The Truth Hurts Dammit

**A lot of events happen here. XD. Enjoy!**

* * *

**ChapterNineteen**:_TheTruthHurtsDammit_

* * *

When Phil is tucked away into the bed, off to his dreams made of fickleness and fantasy, Matt's gone back to his room, unlike him since he just loves holding Phil, to feel the skin underneath the fabric of the clothing but today, all he does want to do is to take his phone and call Jeff, and he sighs into the phone as it dials. "Hey, Jeffro, 'tomorrow—or rather _today_, Matt glances at the clock that reads _1:24_ AM, is the last day before the flight and Matt knows that Phil will have to decide if he's boarding with him or not. "How are you?"

"Fine. Just fine. Great actually! Evan, John and I are giving my Dad's house a makeover."

"Poor guy. He never stood a chance."

Jeff giggles. "Matty! It's not that bad! Besides, it's a beautiful make over. With beige walls and a white marble floor, I just imported tiles, we're going to make this look amazing! How are you and Phil?"

"We're both fine…listen, Jeff…um…Phil might not come along with us. He may choose to stay over an Andrea's."

"But I like Phil!" Jeff exclaims, his high heels clicking, heard even over the phone as Matt sighs and nods, even if Jeff can't see it. Jeff continues to protest, 'Matty, that's not fair! She can't just take him away from us! He has a choice in this!"

"Maybe Phil wants to stay close to his family. We are giving him the choice." Matt looks down at his feet, feeling the guilt overtake him as he walks towards the door of his lover's bedroom, looking at Phil as he sleeps, his chest slowly heaving, his face peaceful, not a care in a world, a child that's just waiting to go outside and play, a hint of ecstasy in his face… Matt could just stare at him forever.

"But maybe just, maybe, he wants his family more than he wants us. Look at him. Hell, if you were going to choose between me or John and Evan, what would you choose?"

"That's easy! John and Evan!"

Matt rolls his eyes before chuckling. "Jeff…"

"You know I'm just joking with you," Jeff lets out a sigh, trying to think of a way out of the situation they're in and realizing that there's definitely no way out, 'just…just be happy for him. Okay, Matt? He may want to stay with you…even if you can be a jerk, you're still sweet at heart."

"The 'jerk' will now go and burn your pink clothes when he gets home."

"Then stay. You stay with Phil there forever, problem solved." Jeff responds, giggling to himself, 'I'll go to bed now, idiot. Dad's been telling me to go to sleep for the past ten minutes. Bye. See you soon."

"Jeff…"

"Yeah?"

"I slept with him."

"W-what?!" that definitely catches Jeff's attention, his eyes now wide away, the green color intensifies, 'how could you, Matt?! I told you not to! You know you've got a problem that you're trying to fix—"

"But Jeff—"

"I have to go now. Goodnight." Jeff's voice is dripping with a bit of edge but only because he hates seeing Matt hurt others just for a few hours of enjoyment, and he puts the phone down, walking over to Phil and slowly touching his face, seeing Phil's lips curve into a smile melts Matt's heart. He lays down beside him, his hand behind Phil's ear, his mind empty as a soft lullaby, something about babies and carriages, replays itself over and over…

Until he's fallen asleep.

* * *

That morning, just as Phil stretches to find Matt next to him, hair wet but clothed and dressed, Phil stands up, walking towards the bathroom but peering over his shoulder, looking at Matt and staring at his black pants and black t-shirt with words written in silver and a weird Batman design embossed in the center.

"Hey, Phil."

A smile spreads onto Phil's face, 'Matt."

Just then, the silence roams as Phil stares into Matt's eyes, that happiness that he doesn't want to break but he just doesn't know what to do and at that moment, Matt holds onto Phil's hands, 'I need to talk to you."

Phil's smile drops as he climbs besides Matt on his bed and both of them look at each other's eyes, Phil probing through Matt's, trying to think of what Matt could've wanted and at that moment, Andrea walks in with the teddy bear that's mysteriously vanished yet Matt hasn't noticed until now.

Andrea pulls out a black tape recorder and Matt's eyes widen.

'_Oh fuck no.'_

"You know how guilty I feel?"

'_Oh hell no. NOT THAT!'_

"_I feel so damn guilty. I mean—Phil thinks I like him more than ever, he feels as if my feeling is stronger for him than reality, but in reality, it's all gone after the sex…fuck, what do I do, Luke? I am using him. I used him—and I don't know how I can get out of this habit! Maybe Phil and I aren't meant to be…but if I tell Phil then he'll leave and—I probably won't get Jeff back. I'm going to be living in shambles."_

"All because of Jeff?" Matt's head twists so that he's looking at Phil who's staring at him with fury burning into his eyes, trying to hide the obvious pain that's plastered underneath it, 'all this be-because you don't want to stop using me and Jeff? Well, then, fuck you. I'm staying and have fun while you burn in Hell, Matthew Moore Hardy. I'm _sick_ and _tired_ of your attitude. I'm _sick_ and _tired_ of _you_. I…I hate you! How could you do this to me?! _**I LOVED YOU!**_"

That last one hits Matt like a smack on the face, realization sinks in as the tears start rolling off Phil's face but it's still hard and rigid with fury as he turns around and holds his head into his head. "Just get out of here. Right now."

"But Phil…"

"GET OUT! I don't want to see your face ever again, understand?!"

"Fine! You're a cheap slut anyways!"

Matt twists around to go to his room and take his things and leave this place, all ready but in the middle of his packing, the guilt burns and he's bitten his lips so hard that they're threatening to tear and bleed, and as soon as he's out of the house, he stops and lets the reality sink in, that surreal dream that seem to happen every night has actually happen…and now, he's left humiliated…what if he needs to use people? It's not like everyone around him doesn't have any flaws.

But standing in the street, Matt feels like the most flawed person in the world.

_His _depression_ is the invisible _jewelry_ he wears to _decorate_ the _corpse_ of his _dead_ soul._

Everyone can see it, those eyes of sorrow that look at him…

'_Fuck them.'_

* * *

He's now home.

But it just doesn't feel like home without Phil around as he puts his suitcases and walks to his father's house, beating himself up, over and over again at the things he'd done and the horror he'd achieved.

'You're so damn selfish, Hardy. I mean…you really hurt him, you know that?!'

Matt turns around, know knowing that he can be hit by a pole as he suddenly sees his father looking down onto the grass of his lawn, a phone in his hand, a look of desperation on his face, 'Dad?"

"M-Matthew…"

"What's wrong?"

Matt's suddenly afraid and he's already in a bad mood so if this is anything as bad as Phil leaving, then he doesn't know how he's going to stay awake, his heart's already bitten into pieces and his brain is threatening to explode.

"It's Jeff."

"He sick?"

Gilbert shakes his head, 'he's missing."

"W-what?!" Matt exclaims, looking up at Gilbert and slaps his hand to the fence, the flesh poking through his skin and tearing it up, thick, hot blood falling from his flesh and he does it again, only to have Gilbert touching Matt's shoulder.

"Matt-"

"Don't talk to me. I'm too disgusting, am I not?! I'm just a stupid excuse for a human being. Am I even alive?! I seriously don't know how I'm going to live with myself. I pressured a boy to have sex with me, I use people just because I can…I can't cope with a death that happened about twenty four fucking years ago! Why…? Why am I like this…?" Matt's eyes are watering with tears. "I hurt a lot of people…a lot of people that I care about…that's why Jeff left."

"Matt, don't think this way."

"It's the truth!"

Matt holds his head in his hands as he lets the tears gets soaked by his flesh. "I'm alone…"

"You're not alone."

Matt shakes his head, tears still spluttering out of his eyes, 'I'm alone. I'm so fucking alone that it hurts! I shouldn't allowed to be happy…I should be one of those emo kids and start cutting my wrists just because that's how pathetic I really am! I know! I know it all, Dad. I have no life. I'm just a bastard. A bitch. A hoe. Nothing more! Phil doesn't deserve this torture that I'm putting him through. Jeff doesn't. No one does! I'm…I'm a monster…"

"Matt…"

Gilbert cups Matt's wet cheek, looking at Matt's eyes who's furiously sobbing as tears still fall from his face, hot tears that are burning down…

"I'm just a monster! Why do you even look at me? I'm disgusting…"

"Look, look at the mirror, Matt…do you really see that?"

Gilbert takes a mirror from the table behind him, probably one of Jeff's and Matt looks at the reflection, his lip quivering as he slams the mirror down onto the floor, seeing it crack, 'yes, that's me. Not that perfect reflection that's looking back at me…that's me. That's my _heart_. That's my _soul_. That's just _me_."

"Matt, calm down."

Matt turns around, not saying another word as he flees, just running off, not wanting to hear the rest of it.

'_Fuck them! FUCK THEM ALL!'_

Matt stops by his house, hyperventilating as he holds his head, 'Jeff! JEFF! I'm sorry! COME BACK TO ME, ANGEL! Come back to me! Come back to me, Phil…my little angels…"

Matt hears a sound of a whimper as he looks down at Lucas who's now looking at him, pleading him and Matt nods his head, leaning down towards Lucas and stroking Lucas's nose, who just whimpers and licks Matt's hand. "I don't deserve this, Luke…he's hurt…they're hurt…and it's all because of me…"

"You're right. You don't deserve this."

Matt turns around to see Verrel holding a crowbar in his hand, a smirk on his face. "You want your precious Jeff?"

"What have you done to him?"

"What haven't I done to him?"

"You sick twisted-"

At that moment, he feels arms grab onto him, Daquan's arms squish the remainders of his soul as his eyes slowly drop…

"I-I…"

Verrel moves towards Matt, face to face with Matt, 'and you want to get hurt because you did what you did, didn't you?"

"Maim me. Mangle me. Butcher me. Slaughter me, 'Matt says, looking down at the floor, 'but if you touch one hair on Jeff's head, then you'll be sorry you ever messed with me."

Verrel laughs as he gestures for Daquan to move towards him and a pair of hard brown eyes are watching all this…

"You're gonna get it this time, creep."

John Morrison turns to his boyfriend, Mark Callaway, and Mark grins as he kisses John, 'oh, yes, they will."

* * *

**I like this chapter! XD!**

**Review lovelies. I don't know. Somehow John Morrison/Matt Hardy are nice now. XP! I dunno. John Morrison/Undertaker...that was random. XP! I like the couples that I always mention a bit in the fics. I dunno why though! XD! I just love those bits & bits of that! XP!  
**

**X Sam.**


	21. Chapter Twenty: Fight For Freedom

**I haven't worked on this story for so damn long that I completely forgot what it was about. What was it about? Seriously, I forgot. XP! I had to reread the last chapter at least twice before I remembered. XD!**

* * *

_**ChapterTwenty**__:FightForFreedom_

* * *

Jeff's fingers are trailing along the bars.

Dry blood coats his hands, as he hears the sound of the entrance being opened as a guard pushes Matt into the cell the opposite of Jeff's, Jeff blushing as the guard rips Matt's clothing into shreds, leaving Matt naked and exposed, his hands onto the bars, looking at the opposite cell, right at Jeff.

"Jeffy…"

"Matt-"

"I'm sorry for being a jerk. I'm sorry for all the wrong I've done. Hell, Jeff, I'm sorry for being a jackass after Mom died-"

"Matt, I don't care about that right now!"

"…then what do you care about, Jeff?"

Jeff thought for a moment. "I care about you."

"Jeff, you can't get hurt. If you care about me, then care about yourself first. When Verrel comes…"

"Matt, 'Jeff shakes his head, 'I'm not gonna let you hurt yourself just so you can save me! Potentially k-kill yourself…"

"It would be the only good thing I've ever done in my life. I don't care about anything else, Jeff. You're not doing this for you, you're doing this for me. Do it for me, Jeffy, don't let them hurt you…let them hurt me…"

"Matt…"

"I'm so sick." Matt shook his head.

"I'm sick too, 'Jeff pitches in, his voice cracking, eyes glittering with tears, 'I'm sick of all this. I'm sick of the pain. I'm sick of the torture. I'm sick of Randy. I'm sick of me. I'm sick of everything."

"And I'm sick inside…I'm poison…I'm no good to you, Jeffy, 'Matt said, holding onto the cold metal bar.

"Matty…"

"Do you love him?"

That was what made Jeff jump. "Who?"

"You know very well who I'm talking about."

"He gave me HIV, Matt, 'Jeff tried to tell him but Matt was still staring at him, his eyes solemn and filled with seriousness.

"But do you love him?"

Jeff swallows the lump in his throat and nods his head, looking down at the floor, 'yes, Matt, I do."

"Then go, Jeff. You and him can have a perfect life with children and it'll be perfect and nice and I'll be watching, Jeff…"

"I want you to be there with me! I'd rather die with you than live without you! We've lost too much, Matt! It's unfair!" Jeff exclaims, his eyes burning with passion as silence roams between the duo. Jeff holds his head into his hands and starts sobbing recklessly and all Matt wants to do was hold him around his arms just one last time, make him feel safe, just one last time…

"W-w-w-what about you, M-M-Matty?" Jeff stutters, looking up at Matt, who just sat down onto a table, just staring at him, 'd-d-do you love him?"

"I'm not allowed to love. I'll just screw it up."

That made Jeff sob all the more as Hunter walks towards him, wrapping his arms around him, and Matt just envies Hunter for that one moment but also is happy that Jeff's being taken care of when Matt couldn't care for him.

"Do you love him, Matty?" Jeff repeats.

"I can't—"

"Do you love him, Matty?" Jeff repeats, his voice louder.

Matt just stares at him for a moment before slowly nodding his head, and taking his head in his hands for a moment, 'and I fucking blew it."

"Okay, let's get the pretty blonde out of here first, 'Verrel says, looking over at Jeff's body, covered by Hunter's arms as Jeff's sobs got even worse, tears cascading, fear burning, nothing but terror resides into his body. "Hunter, let go—"

"Don't you dare, 'Verrel twists his head to meet Matt's face.

"Oh, so you're willing to give yourself up for the blonde? I love the idea. What are you willing to give me?"

"You call have all of me, Verrel. I don't fucking care what you do with me."

"Oh, you're going to care…"

"MATTY!" Hunter's hand cups over Jeff's mouth as Jeff allows tears to fall freely from his face again, sobbing recklessly, his hands embracing the elder male.

"Get him out of there. I'll see as to how I'd break him."

Jeff gasps as Daquan grabs onto Matt's arm and drags him along with Verrel towards the battle area as Jeff continues to gasp and sob, missing his presence already. Hunter trying to cajole the hyperventilating Jeff, 'Jeffery, it's going to be okay. He's going to be fine. He's tough. He'll pull through—"

"Tell me the truth." Jeff says, his voice thick as Hunter looks down at Jeff's face.

"He's gonna die out there."

Jeff nods his head, tears still cascading down his face, 'I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I don't want to move on! I don't want him to die! And what the fuck am I doing while my brother is out there getting butchered?! Crying around like a baby that doesn't know anything!"

Jeff hits his head towards the cold metal, it scratches his skin, forming a cut, blood falls and Hunter takes Jeff's face, looking at him closely, Hunter's breath onto Jeff's face, 'you think killing yourself is going to make him feel happier? It's like he's throwing away his life for nothing, Jeff!"

Jeff just stares at him, Hunter's hot breath near Jeff's face and in moments, Jeff's lips finds its way towards Hunter's lips. Passion and heat transfer, energy particles bounce around in that kiss as Jeff pulls back, looking down at the floor, 'I'm kissing a guy I haven't seen for a year because of fear…I'm fucked up…"

"Jeff…"

"Save it." Jeff simply says, turning around and holding onto the bars, having no tears to shed and nothing to do, his eyes onto the floor of the cell he's in, trying to think, trying to think but his heart's beating so loudly in his ear that all he hears is the uneven rhythm of his heart and he feels as if he's going to die any second.

* * *

Just as Matt's about to face his opponent, he paces around, Verrel allowing him an empty bottle of alcohol during the match but Matt doubts that he's going to kill someone and in that moment, Matt's eyes widen as he realizes who he's going to battle, the very person that could mend and save Jeff's life.

Randy Orton stands there with a look of confusion plastered across his face.

* * *

**I had to cut it there. Sorreh, babehs but it's bedtime here for meh. XD!**

**X Sam. **


	22. Chapter Twenty One: I Was Beautiful

**I am SO evil leaving it off there, I know. XP! Here's my sorta climax of the story. I don't know if there's anything left of this story anyways. I lost all my ideas. I forgot what I was going to do for this story. I knew I was so excited before but now, I don't remember why. That feeling sucks! XP! Anyways, here's what's left of my ideas…X3! **

* * *

**ChapterTwentyOne**:_IWasBeautiful _

* * *

Philip Jack Brooks wakes up that morning to take a quick shower and then he turns around towards his ringing cell phone and with damp hands, he reaches out to take the call, shocked that someone's calling him.

"Phil! Phil!"

John Morrison.

Phil licks his lower lip. "Yes?"

"Phil, Matt…Jeff…Verrel… the Hole."

"W-what?!" Phil exclaims, almost dropping the phone from his hands, his towel clinging to him as he stares down at the floor, 'I'll be right there. I don't know how and I don't know why but I'll be there, John."

With that, Phil shuts his phone.

In moments, he'd taken all his things into his trolley and just as he's about to get out of the house, Andrea's hand grabs onto Phil's wrist, and she looks at him, anger burning and hatred igniting, 'where are you going?"

"Back to Matt!"

"You are not leaving my sight, understand?"

"No! I'm going! I don't care about what you think of me and Matt. Hell, I'm not going back for Matt. I'm going back for Jeff. Jeff doesn't deserve to be hurt just because I have a grudge on Matt."

She stares at him for a moment. "You won't dare step out of the house."

At that moment, she takes out her phone and tightens the grip around Phil's wrist, practically restricting the flow of Phil's blood to his wrist and when Andrea finishes with the call, a smirk finds it way on her pale face. Phil raises his eyebrow but Andrea doesn't care at all as the sound of the door breaking open scares Phil, throwing him off balance so that his ass gets hit by the floor.

"Philip, this is Duncan."

Phil looks up at the large man that takes Phil's body as if it's as light as a feather and he throws him towards a chair, wrapping him around with silicon wires he'd gotten out of his jacket.

"Fuck you, 'Phil snarls towards Duncan. "Why?"

"Don't ask me why, Philip! You're all fucked up and I can fix you…I can make you beautiful again…" Andrea circles around Phil's chair, looking at him, 'don't you want to be beautiful, Philly?"

* * *

Randy Orton.

Matt's eyes were just wide with horror, he has to fight the male that his brother's in love with, he has to fight Randy Orton… Matt closes his eyes and shakes his head, trying to wake up from this nightmare that seems all too terrifying to be real and Verrel's voice snaps him back into trance, Verrel's hands are around Jeff's shackles, Jeff's eyes just staring at Matt and Randy.

"Matty…"

"Jeff," Matt said his name aloud, looking back at Randy. "Go ahead, Randy. Do it. Kill me. G ahead, Randy…"

"What in hell's name are you? Some sort of Romeo?" Randy tries to grin but he can't as he looks down at the floor, taking a busted bottle of alcohol, 'hey, man, I'm sorry…he told me that he'd kill both of us and this…this is the only way out, isn't it, Matt? Just fight back. Kill me. I'll understand. I've been no good to Jeffro and I deserve this. Go ahead, Matt, hurt me."

Matt took his bottle and stares at Randy's face, unable to hit the male that his brother's smitten with. He turns around to face Verrel who smirks, 'either he dies or you both die." He reminds Matt.

It takes all of Matt's energy to run towards Randy and smash the bottle into his side and of course, Randy fights back and Jeff just stares as his lover takes a piece of glass and digging it to the side of Matt's body, while Randy swings his hand onto Matt's stomach, causing him to flip backwards for a moment while Randy takes advantage of the situation and hits his shoulder and with that, Matt falls onto the ground. Randy grabs onto a bottle of alcohol, knowing that just smashing it into Matt's head might be enough to kill him but he simply stares at him, soft breaths falling from his lips…

* * *

"Let go of me, you idiot!"

Duncan tightens the wires around Phil's body so Phil feels like he's choking as Duncan starts laughing and for a moment, Duncan loosens up a wire and Phil sinks down the chair, slipping out of the wires successfully but Duncan grabs onto Phil's hand and throws him backwards onto the glass table and shards of glass dig into Phil's flesh, the feel of the glass digging into him… the blood that pools out of his body, the veins of him contracting pain in every possible way. His arms are battered with scratches of glass and his stomach had caught a nasty large piece of glass in it.

Phil stands up, the desolation of it all a jolt up his spinal cord. "Fuck."

Duncan just stares, grinning to himself. "Run, bitch."

Phil tries to run but he feels as if he'll fall onto the floor and he does, he falls and the glass deepens, leaving Phil feeling the tremendous pain jolting into him as he moans in pain, tears cascading down his cheeks, but he tries to pull himself together as he stands up once more, and walks towards the backdoor, hearing Duncan's laughter. "Now, this is my playground."

With that, Duncan picks up a screwdriver from a table and drives it through Phil's side, pain burning into every fiber of his being as a gasp escapes his lips. He falls onto the floor, Duncan slashing the tip of the screwdriver from his side down his thigh, a thick, deep cut burns into his skin.

"Stop that! That hurts!"

"No." Duncan snaps.

Phil feels tears burn into his eyes, cascading, 'please, please, just stop it. Why do you have to do this to me?"

"Because you're pretty."

Phil gasps and shakes his head, 'she says that I've only once been beautiful. Just please…let me…there's are two guys out there, that are getting hurt bad, and I can't save them…they're so far away…please, I don't want to think that I might be too late…" his throat is dry and his head is spinning. "Please, please…just help me. I know you won't listen to me, I used to be homeless…but-but…"

The male simply takes out a pocket knife from the front of his pants, making Phil gasp once more, 'please! Stop! I don't want the pain…please…"

The knife slices into Phil's shoulder.

"Please…"

Soft breaths fall from Phil's mouth as he reaches in to grab the metal, his hand squeezing onto the metal, cuts through his hand.

"Please…j-j-just stop…"

Duncan simply laughs.

"M-Matt…" Phil whimpers under his breath, curling himself into fetal position, tears burning up into his eyes again as they cascade. "Matty…come back to m-m-me…"

The metal touches his skin again, on his back, slicing through him.

"I'm sorry…M-Matty…I'm so sorry…" Phil simply says before feeling himself pass out.

* * *

Jeff just stares at them, his brother and his lover, fighting, Randy just stops and all of a sudden, Randy leans down towards Matt's face, looking at him, 'do something! Hurt me! I'm not gonna kill Jeff's brother for God's sake! Matt!"

Matt simply shakes his head. "I deserve this. Go ahead. Kill me."

Randy just stares at Matt's face, so emotionless at the face of death, 'please, Matt, Jeff will never forgive me."

"I told him that I wanted this, 'Matt shakes his head, staring at Randy's face, 'I told him that I'd die. I'd die for him, Randy… he's my brother and I want him to be happy…I want him to stay with you and have children with you and I want…he loves you…I don't want anything else to ruin this all. Please, Randy, just smash the bottle and be done with it…the world hates me anyways, so why should you even think twice before killing me?"

Randy looks down at the bottle.

"COME ON!" Verrel's voice burns through the air.

Randy looks down at Matt…the bottle gleaming…Matt closes his eyes, bracing for death…

* * *

Phil forces himself upwards even though he feels as if he's going to fall and crack his head open and he runs back towards the house, taking Andrea's keys and running off, blood seeping from his every wound yet he doesn't care as he slips into his car and looks at the clock. He can't book a flight so he decides that he's going by train and he just hopes it isn't late enough.

After hopping from train to train, Phil finds himself at his destination, just running even though he doesn't know how to run anymore, his feet are painful and feel as if they're going to break off any moment as he disappears into the park and towards the alley. The building. Phil closes his eyes and holds onto a tree, 'don't pass out, bitch." He tells himself as he takes a few breaths to steady himself before he runs towards the arena, his eyes staring at the bloody mess that's Matt and Randy on top of him, the empty bottle of alcohol in his hand, as Jeff stares, tearful, Phil takes a microphone from a male's hands and pushes him off. "Verrel, please, don't fucking do this! I didn't kill my parents! Don't hurt them! Please! Look at me!"

Verrel stands up, walking over to the battered figure of Phil, 'I want you to do it."

Phil looks at him, confused as Verrel lifts his chin, 'you're straightedge, no?"

Phil slowly nods his head. "I want you to do it."

Verrel snaps his fingers and Daquan pulls out a bottle of champagne, Verrel opens the cork and forces Phil to hold it. "Drink it."

"But-but-"Phil stutters.

"Drink it or those midgets—all of them, die."

Phil doesn't say anything else as he brings the bottle to his lips, the sweet acid burning down his throat, his eyes bubbling with tears that cascade down his face quickly, and Phil feels as if he's going to vomit but he doesn't, he clutches onto his stomach as his blood pressure goes lower than normal, his breaths turn shorter and it isn't after a moment that Phil throws up, vomiting violently.

"Drink it."

"Phil…" Jeff's eyes widen.

Phil nods his head as he continues to try and finish up the bottle that makes his body react so violently, allowing the last drops of the liquid to find its way towards his lips as he allows the bottle to crash down, breaking into pieces. Dizziness overwhelming Phil as Verrel laughs, 'alright, get him the others."

"O-others?" Phil repeats, his head spinning violently.

Verrel nods his head as Daquan returns with a syringe and Verrel gives it to Phil. "Heroin." Phil raises his eyebrow, 'I'm going to make you stand against everything you believe in, bitch…I'm going to make you suffer the title that meant so much to you. When you're cold and alone, this is the thing that you mostly take pride in, right? Well, it's broken now and you're left with nothing, bitch."

"J-j-just don't hurt them…" Phil begs, closing his eyes as he allows the needle to find its way towards his arm, the rush of the adrenaline as the shot of heroin fills his body.

"Get him another shot."

Daquan pulls out another syringe and stabs Phil with it, the tired ravenette just sits down, puffy eyes and dry blood clinging to every pore of him, Matt doesn't think he can watch this anymore but he still can't turn his head away and Jeff's frozen in place. "Get him a packet, 'Verrel demands.

Daquan pulls out a packet of cigarette and pulls one out, lighting it up, 'go ahead."

Phil, with a shaky hand, takes the cigarette and inhales a puff, his lungs feel like it's on fire as he pulls his mouth away from the cigarette to vomit once more.

"Stop it!" Matt just can't take it anymore, staring at the image of his affection being hurt so bad. "Come on! Stop it! The poor thing's dying up there!"

"Oh…that's so sweet. Phil and Matt…together forever, is that right?"

Phil just stares at Matt, olive eyes just staring at the thing that would never be his, never again… "Matty…"

"Philly…"

"Aw, so beautiful, a gay romance, 'Verrel snaps. "You two are the worst couple I'd seen in my life."

"Oh, Matt, stand up right now."

Matt slowly stands up from his position as Verrel whispers something into his ear, 'no!" Matt simply responds but Verrel smirks and points towards Jeff then at Randy and Matt sighs, tears burning, batting his eyelashes as he walks towards Phil, looking at him, chastely kissing Phil's dry and chapped lips. "Phil…"

"Matt, 'Phil whimpers.

"I'm sorry."

Matt takes a bottle of alcohol from the ground and turns around to face Phil, tears cascading down Phil's eyes, 'please…p-please…" Phil is unable to finish his pleas as Matt walks towards him, staring deep into those tortured olive eyes.

"I'm sorry, Philly. I really am."

Phil sniffs and sobs.

"I love you."

Phil nods his head as Matt looks at the bottle of alcohol in his hands before closing his eyes and smashing it against Phil's body, Phil's eyes simply shut tight at the pain that's embracing him in every single way.

Matt stares at Phil's emotionless face. "I'm sorry." He says once more to the sedated Phil, kissing onto his cheek and pressing his face towards Phil's cheek, feeling the warmth that's always been there.

The sound of police sirens can be heard as a wave of federal blue and black officers walk into the area.

Matt just doesn't know why everything seems so blurred as he holds onto Phil's body, trying to wonder if he's alive or dead, trying to think about all the wrong he's done, and why this just had to happen…he thinks of the fairytales that used to be…he thinks about it all before he finds paramedics rushing towards his Phil. "He's hurt, we need to take him to the hospital…" Jeff simply says.

"No, don't take him away from me!"

"It's only for a little while, Matty…" Jeff pouts.

"Don't take him away from me! Please!" Matt continues to vent, his eyes scared as he unwillingly lets go of Phil, Jeff's hand grabs onto Matt's wrist as Jeff's head presses onto Matt's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Matty…"

Matt looks down at Jeff, 'I love him, Jeffy. It's unfair."

"Let's go home. I can bake you something and…and it can be like old times then we get to visit Philly…Matty, he can be alive…"

Matt shakes his head, 'he won't want me to see him. I hurt him bad, Jeffy."

"You had to do it, he'll understand-"

"I HURT HIM!" Matt exclaims. "I hurt him again! Don't you understand, Jeff?! I just keep on hurting him and he doesn't deserve that all around! I'm just bad luck to poor Phil. I won't hurt him ever again…I know it's gonna hurt me not to see him again but…Jeffy, you're fine. You can go there and tell me about him… but I can't see him again, Jeffy. I'm nothing but bad luck…"

Jeff just stares at him, 'that's insane, Matty."

"I hurt him, 'Matt shakes his head, a sob falling from his lips, 'I really hurt him…"

* * *

**Review?? X3!**

**X Sam. **


	23. Chapter Twenty Two: The Circles Theory

**O.O. That's all I can say. Read my always long at the end of the story Author's Note. XP! Lyrics curtsey of Hollywood Undead. Can you please read the lyrics? Yeah? XD! I know, I always skip them but if I know the song, I just play it and read. That isn't the case half the time. No one would write a fic with the song '**_**Master of Puppets' **_**but meh. XD!**

* * *

_**ChapterTwentyTwo**_:_TheCirclesTheory_

* * *

"_They say these seven things is what makes us up. C for Crying. I for Irritation. R for Redemption. C for Care. L for Languish. E for Eternity. S for Serenity. The 'Circles' theory. They say that these things make up life…it makes it sad and it makes it good at the same time…the 'Circles' theory."_

"_I don't feel good about anything anymore…" Phil says, looking down at the floor. "I just feel so damn sad."_

Matt twists a thick strand of his hair around his finger. An entire day of no sleeping, no eating, he's mentally and physically exhausted and all he can think about is Phil, about how hurt he may be, the Doctors explaining about Phil's allergic reaction to alcohol, about his physical exhaustion but Matt doesn't care as long as Phil's fine.

"Mr. Hardy?" that snaps Matt out of his trance.

"Are you listening?"

Matt nods his head. "Is he going to be okay?"

The male just stares at him for a few moments, 'he's losing so much blood and so fast…I don't know what we can do about it. We tried patching up his cuts and stitching him but I'm afraid that either we need a donor or—"

"Test me." Matt just stares at him. "Just test me. Please."

"Do you want to look at him?"

"_I HURT HIM! I hurt him again! Don't you understand, Jeff?! I just keep on hurting him and he doesn't deserve that all around! I'm just bad luck to poor Phil. I won't hurt him ever again…I know it's gonna hurt me not to see him again but…Jeffy, you're fine. You can go there and tell me about him… but I can't see him again, Jeffy. I'm nothing but bad luck…"_

Matt simply shakes his head, keeping his face emotionless, 'I don't want to look at him. No. Just test me."

It's only after the test that Matt realizes that they're a perfect match and allows them to take as much blood as they need, and he doesn't really care if they're claiming it unhealthy for Matt to donate so much blood for Phil's sake but Matt allows them to, until he says that he feels dizzy.

"Tell me if he's fine."

"You can look at him, you know."

"No." Matt snaps. "I can't."

Matt returns back to the waiting room, as he opens the radio, just trying to drown out the thoughts that are in his head, of horror of what's going to happen to his loved one, lying right there, in that room, getting hurt, getting worse, by the second and the blood may not be enough to support Phil…

"_Take my hand let's go/Somewhere we can rest our souls./We'll sit where it's warm/You say look we're here alone."_

Matt shakes his head at the cheesy lyrics as Jeff runs towards him, and looks down at him, 'Matty? Are you okay? What happened?"

"He needed blood and I gave it to him."

Jeff just stares at him for a moment as Matt's tears fall from his face, 'it might not be enough, Jeffy. I'm fucking scared and I don't want to see him. I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared…"

"Matt…" Jeff reaches out and Matt embraces his little baby brother, Matt's hand stroking through Jeff's hair. "Shh…Matty…"

It's so weird how the one that comforts is now comforted. Matt takes soft, sharp breaths until the Doctor comes out of the room and looks at both of Matt and Jeff, 'he's stable for now."

"For now?!" Matt exclaims.

"We're going to give him a surgery and as long as he doesn't move enough to open his cuts, he should be fine." The Doctor simply says as Matt nods his head, smiling weakly and Jeff stands up to peek into the room, seeing Phil draped along the bed, his eyes halfway open and looking around the room.

When Jeff looks back, he realizes that Matt's gone.

_"I was running in circles/I hurt myself/Just to find my purpose."_

Jeff steps into the room. Phil staring at him. "Jeff…"

Jeff's about to say something but Phil brings up the subject quicker than Jeff can, 'Jeff…M-Matt…? Where is he?"

"He thinks he's hurting you so he doesn't want you to see him. He thinks he'll cause more drama."

Phil's eyes widen. "Matty…"

Jeff sits down besides Phil, holding onto his hand, 'let's talk about something else, Phil."

"The Circles theory. It's right."

Jeff raises an eyebrow.

"C is for Crying. For all the tears I've shed. I for Irritation. For all the pain and annoyance of this world that's crashing down onto me. R for Redemption. Because there's always a piece of heaven here on Earth, even if I'm clearly going to Hell. C for Care. Because there's always someone that cares. L for Languish. Languish…we're all just puppets in this world that are played together by strings…we ask ourselves who we are and when we figure out who we are, we try to cover our identity with lies and deception because we're afraid… E for Eternity because there's just that one moment that's always in your head, that seemed to last forever…and S for Serenity. The peace that you get when you look outside and you're dying and the skies are all gray but…but you don't want the silence anymore. You just want to stand up and scream…"

Jeff hugs Phil, 'the silence is defeating, Jeffy. I woke up this morning and I thought and it hurts…"

Jeff strokes the back of Phil's hair. "It's gonna be alright, Phil."

"No! It isn't," Phil sobs uncontrollably. "I'm gonna die…I feel it…it's a scary feeling and Matt…I want to see him! Please, let me see him! Or I'll go find him myself! Jeffy…I love him. I love him. I need to see him _now_."

Jeff simply nods his head and kisses Phil's nose. "I'll tell him."

Phil simply lets silent tears fall. "I love him."

"I know you do."

"I love him so much it hurts…" Phil's voice cracks. "It hurts so much."

_"Everything was so worthless/I didn't deserve this/But to me you were perfect."_

That night, Jeff walks inside of the house to find Matt lying down on a couch and Jeff walks towards him, his face plastered with annoyance as Jeff sits down, looking at Matt, 'you know, you hurt him just by not showing up there."

Matt stares at Jeff, 'I'm just scared, Jeffy. Whenever he's around me, he just gets so hurt and I'm scared…I'm scared that he's going to die because of me. I don't know what'll happen but the world is trying to tell me not to come near him, that he'll get hurt, he'll get so damn hurt."

"Matty…"

Matt sniffs out a sob. "Please, Jeff-"

"He tells me that he loves you."

Matt nods his head, 'and I love him too. He's my every star in the sky…how is he?"

"He really loves you, Matty."

Matt ignores that for a moment, 'how is he? Is he really hurt? Did my blood help him any?"

Jeff nods his head, 'your blood helped him. He's doing better now, Matty but he'd be so much happier if you're around. He thinks he's going to die, Matt. Just one minute with him. Just that long. Matty."

"One minute can make or break him, Jeff, 'Matt stares at Jeff, 'one minute is all that it needs for your entire world to shatter and fall. One minute…I can't see him. I told you my reason, Jeff. Honor it."

"Honor what?! That you're going to hide out here like a coward while Phil rots in the hospital?!"

"You don't understand." Matt snaps.

"You don't understand that the guy you love is suffering because you refuse to see him. He feels ugly on the inside, Matty." Jeff retards, looking at Matt's eyes, those hard brown eyes warm into liquid as he looks down.

"I'm scared."

Matt takes Jeff into his embrace, stroking his hair.

"I'm so scared…"

"_I'm scattered through this life./If this is life I'll say good bye."_

Matt takes a deep breath that morning and is about to go towards the hospital to go and see Phil, blinking every few moments as he looks down at the clock and halfway through, he stops the car and puts his head into his hands and lets the painful tears fall from his face, sobs escaping his body.

He's a wreck and he doesn't care.

With that, he turns his car around.

He just can't do it.

"_She's gone like an angel/With wings let me burn tonight."_

He spends his time going around town, as long as he doesn't go home and confront Jeff, he wants to go all around the world, be alone, try to forget everything, try to remember why he's doing this, try to remember the reason for him driving ten fucking hours around the same zone… he stops by a park that's all too familiar. The park that Phil and him had gone in their date and Matt slowly steps inside of the park, the greenness dulled, the sky gray…there's just nothing left there.

Matt turns around and leaves, unable to take it anymore. He goes towards a bunch of shops, just not back towards that place of darkness, of memories of horror. After hours of trying to get what he wanted, Matt takes a white cardboard bag with him and he knows what he's supposed to do now.

"Phil." Matt tells himself.

_  
"I was running in circles/I hurt myself/Just to find my purpose."_

Matt stands by the car, holding onto the car door's handle but he can't do it. He just can't do it. He spends fifteen minutes just standing there, just thinking thoughts of nothingness.

_"Everything was so worthless/I didn't deserve this/But to me you were perfect."_

Jeff stands by the doorway, knowing that he's supposed to bash Matt later on as he looks back at Phil who breaks his heart into pieces, shattering everything. Jeff just stands there, staring at Phil who's playing with the hem of his shirt since Jeff had paid them to let Phil wear his own clothing. Jeff turns around to face the Doctor, 'we need to take Phil in for surgery. If he doesn't do this surgery…"

Jeff nods his head. "Okay." His eyes are tearful as they look back at Phil, whose just simply waiting for Matt.

They wheel him over towards the surgery room and Jeff follows.

"Jeff…" Phil starts, looking up at Jeff's eyes, 'Matty? Matt?"

"He-he's coming." Jeff lies, knowing that Matt couldn't do it, he wants to smash his fist onto the table but Phil shakes his head, tears gathering in his eyes.

"He's not coming." Phil knows, 'he's not coming, is he, Jeff?"

Jeff just stares at him, stares at the pain that's in his face because of the realization and Jeff's silence speaks more than Jeff's words but he nods his head, 'he's not coming." Jeff confirms.

"I'm not doing the surgery."

Jeff's eyes snap open. "You'll die if you don't."

"I don't want to live anymore…" Phil shakes his head, his eyes closing up and Jeff just stares at him. "I really don't want to live anymore…"

"Phil, you've got-"

"Nothing," Phil finishes the sentence for him. "I've got nothing anymore, Jeffy."

Jeff turns around, feeling his stomach churn as his head spins with a thousand thoughts, he turns back to Phil to see his eyes certain as he nods his head, those soft eyes, so in pain, the paleness of his face…

_"I see me writin' on this paper./Prayin' for some savior./Wishin' to intake her and save her."_

Matt decides to go now, he sits down onto his seat, starting up the engine and going by smoothly, past the cars and the shops, his eyes just in front of the road yet a thousand thoughts rush through his head. _Is he alright? How mad is Jeff going to be? …does he even want to see me?_ Matt bites down his lower lip but continues down the path. _I'm sorry…_

_This time I mean it._

Matt's cell phone continues to ring yet Matt doesn't answer.

He won't let anything distract him anymore.

_"In a world so, so godless so thoughtless/I don't know how we wrought this/All the love that you brought us."_

"You are doing this surgery, Philly!" Jeff exclaims.

He turns around to face Randy Orton who's smirking, 'do you want me to hold him down?"

Jeff smiles at the warm face in front of him as Randy leans down and kisses him, soft and quick, before Jeff nods his head and at that, Randy walks towards Phil, pinning him down as softly as he can to not hurt the poor child's muscles.

"He's hurting me!" Phil knows he's lying but he doesn't care. "He's hurting me…" Phil has tiny tears burning at the corners of his eyes.

"Please…"

"_It feels like I'm killin' myself./Just willin' myself./Just to pray for some help."_

Matt realizes the traffic around him and to that, he presses his head down onto the steering wheel, gripping tightly the wheel as if he's holding on for his dear life.

"_All because of Jeff? All this be-because you don't want to stop using me and Jeff? Well, then, fuck you. I'm staying and have fun while you burn in Hell, Matthew Moore Hardy. I'm sick and tired of your attitude. I'm sick and tired of you. I…I hate you! How could you do this to me?! __**I LOVED YOU!**__"_

Matt accidentally hits a metal part of his car, his hand bleeding yet he sinks down and waits for the traffic to slow down.

_"I'd give it all just to have, have your eternity./Cause it's all that assures me./It's worth all that hurts me."_

"HE'S HURTING ME!"

For the past ten minutes, all that Phil looks like is as if he's going through searing pain, he knows that he's faking but part of the pain is real. Phil turns around towards Jeff, sobbing, Jeff looks at Randy and nods his head as Randy takes his hands off, Phil whimpers, pressing his head towards the pillow.

"Phil, are you scared because of the surgery? It's going to go well."

"I'm not scared because of the surgery! I'm not scared of anything. I just want to die in peace, why can't you just accept that?!" Phil exclaims, his throat dry and his head spinning. Now, the pain is completely and utterly real. "He's hurting me…"

"I'm not touching you!" Randy exclaims, raising his arms up.

"Phil?"

"He's hurting me…"

"Phil, take a breath."

"Matty…"

"_I'd give you my heart/and I'd let you just hold it./I'd give you my soul/But I already sold it."_

Matt's fingers trail along his steering wheel.

"_He's got your eyes, Ruby."_

"_He's beautiful."_

Matt cringes at the memory.

'_He's selfish, he's cruel, and he's stupid…'_

Matt senselessly continues to bash himself as he tries to find his destination, but there's no hospital in sight, he's still too far away…

_"On that day/That day I walked away in December./I will always remember./I'll regret it forever."_

"Are we doing this or are we not?" The Doctor simply asks.

Jeff nods his head, 'we're doing this, Phil."

"No, no, no, I don't wanna do this fucking surgery! I don't want to!" Phil's eyes stare at Jeff's face for a while, Jeff's sympathetic face, before Phil's hand weakly reaches out to touch Jeff's, 'why?"

"Why do you want to die?" Jeff asks.

"Because I've got nothing. I'm serious, Jeff, I've got nothing. I've got nothing more than this face that's not even pretty anymore…I'm so ugly on the inside that it's showing on the outside too…I'm nothing now."

"Phil-"

"I used to be beautiful, Jeff. I really did…but now…I'm just not."

With distressed messy jet black hair finding its way to his flesh, his flesh so pale that it seems as if he's a ghost, the stitches, the dark clothing that he's wearing, Phil just stares at Jeff while Jeff just stares back, not knowing what to say at all.

_"I remember brown eyes/So sad and blue skies./Turned to darkness and night./I'm so sick of the fight./I won't breathe unless you breathe/Won't bleed unless you bleed/Won't be unless you be/'Till I'm gone and I can sleep."_

Matt finally finds a clear spot out of the traffic, his heart pounding. He just can't believe that he's going to have to face everything now, to let it all hit him.

_With that, Matt strips Phil down, even tearing off his wet underwear then stepping back to stare at the naked Phil. He knows that he's a heavy sleeper, something that Jeff has told him before. Matt looks through the drawer and pulls out Phil's yellow pajamas before dressing him into the t-shirt and shorts, leaving him in the satin, glowing due to the moonlight escaping from the window._

'_**Dammit, he's so fucking beautiful.'**_

_Matt kisses his lips as lightly as he can before walking out to see Jeff standing there with a scowl on his face._

Matt shakes his head and right now, he sees the hospital in front of him, not long now until he reaches it. A smile plays on his lips, he honestly wants to see Phil but he's too scared of what's going to happen, too scared of the aftermath of all this.

"_I was running in circle/I hurt myself/Just to find my purpose./Everything was so worthless/I didn't deserve this/But to me you were perfect."_

"Phil, are you hungry?"

Phil wants to die and Randy fucking Orton is asking him if he's hungry. Phil slips under his covers, nodding his head. "Yeah…"

"I'll go get some food. Come with me, Jeffy, 'Randy grins, and Jeff nods, taking Randy's hand, both of them walk out of the room, leaving Phil alone with his thoughts for a moment. Matt. Matt. Matt. Phil turns towards his Doctor who seems to be writing things on a clipboard and to that, Phil asks the Doctor for some painkillers. The Doctor nods his head as he walks out of the operation room to find a painkiller for Phil before his operation. Phil lets the silence consume him.

Before he slips out of bed and walks out of the room.

_"I was running in circles/I hurt myself/Just to find my purpose./Everything was so worthless/I didn't deserve this./But to me you were perfect."  
_  
Jeff bites into a cookie as he returns back to Phil's operation room as Randy leans down to kiss him for a moment then he returns the kiss. Jeff walks towards the operation room and gasps when he realizes that Phil isn't here. Jeff turns around to face Matt, '…Phil's missing," Jeff simply says.

"What?!" Matt exclaims, staring at the empty operation room.

"He's missing." Jeff repeats. "Matty?"

"Yeah?"

"I knew you'd come." Jeff smiles warmly.

"Too late." Matt tells him, holding his head in his hands for a moment, 'I'm too late, Jeffro."

"We'll find him." Jeff promises.

"You said it yourself, he needs the surgery or he'll die without it…how long is he going to last out there? Three hours? Two? _One_? For all I could know, he could be _dead_ right now… God, I fucked this up _again_."

"We'll find him, Matt!" Jeff exclaims, his eyes onto Matt's face, 'hey, big brother, I'm not gonna let him get hurt. Okay?"

Matt slowly nods his head. "Okay." His voice is cracked.

"_I've gone away/Seen better times in yesterday (I hurt myself)./It's hard to say/That everything will be okay (I hurt myself)."_

Matt has been circling anywhere and everywhere. He has his cell phone on just in case Jeff calls, Jeff had gone with Randy, leaving him alone for the moment before a thought crosses his head and he finds himself going back to the park where his and Phil's first and only date is at.

He walks out of the car, looking around but unable to find anything or anyone.

A droplet of rain falls.

Oh great. Rain. Just enough to complete this scene out of a horror movie.

Matt goes on, looking around and finds Phil sitting down on a swing, the hard rain falling onto his flesh but he doesn't seem to care. Matt walks towards him, looking at him, 'Phil."

"Matt, 'Phil finally lets out the sob that's been fighting to escape his throat and he doesn't know if he's happy or sad. "Matty…"

Matt picks up Phil from the swing, swinging him so that Phil's in Matt's hands and that Phil's hands are wrapped around Matt's neck. Both of their eyes meeting. "I love you so much, baby…"

"You're an idiot, 'Phil finally says, causing both of them to laugh.

"I swear, we're like kids here…" Matt grins.

"It's almost like I'm not dying and you're not going to get yelled at like Hell by Jeff later, 'Phil's eyes then darken slightly as Matt loses balance and Phil tumbles on top of Matt, laughing and giggling as if it's that date all over again, not a care in the world and Phil finally really care about life or death anymore, the feeling comes naturally around Matt, Matt leans down to kiss Phil's lips.

Phil stands up and Matt follows, helping Phil from falling when he doesn't seem to be balancing out.

Matt sits down onto the swing and Phil sits on top of him, Phil's hand is on the left chain and Matt's hand is on the right chain.

"You are so getting a cold." Phil smiles, resting his head onto Matt's shoulder.

"Look, Phil, you're dying. I'm supposed to take you back to the hospital. Come on, Phil, let's not make this hard on both of us. Let's go back and you can do the surgery and hey, I'm gonna be there with you. I'll hold your hand, Phil, I'm never going to let you go again…"

The sound of lightening and thunder.

Phil just stares up at the sky, 'you swore that we're like kids here, right? Kids don't care about hospitals or surgeries or any of that. I know I'm going to die. I don't want to do it in a hospital. I don't want to spend the last few minutes of my life in a white hospital. Matt…"

Matt nods his head in understanding, 'I love you more than every star in the sky."

Phil giggles. "That's a lot of stars…"

"I know." Matt grins before he kisses onto Phil's forehead, 'and I love you more than every one of them."

"Look at the stars, Matty."

Matt's eyes drift towards the starry black sky. "Yeah. A lot of stars."

Silence roams.

"Hey, Phil?"

Phil's eyes lock with Matt's, 'hmm, love?"

Matt pulls out a black box from his pocket and Phil snatches it before Matt can say anything. "Hey, I didn't even ask the question."

"You don't have to, asshole."

"So now I'm an asshole?"

Phil nods and giggles before he opens the box and pulls out the diamond ring, 'so, you gonna say a 'yes' or a 'no' or a 'what do you think'?"

"Yes. I love you more than every star in the sky." Phil grins, slipping the ring into his finger as he looks down at it. "This is the worst romance book every."

"I know." Matt presses Phil towards his chest. "You're dying. I don't care if it's not a cheesy romance moment."

"I don't either."

"But that is so my line."

"It's a cheesy line."

"And it's true. I really do love you more than every star in the sky." Matt smiles at Phil, as they look up at the sky.

"Yeah and those are a lot of stars…"

"_I've gone away/Seen better times in yesterday (I hurt myself)/It's hard to say/That everything will be okay…"_

Jeff finally thinks that his search is over, he feels devastated, as he looks through the messages he has and he realizes that Matt's at the park, he looks at Randy and tells them of their next destination.

Jeff steps into the park, his heart beating and every step feels like it takes an eternity. A gasp escapes his lips.

Jeff's eyes widen.

Sobs escape Jeff's lips and all that Randy can do is offer support as he holds onto Jeff while he sobs and cries.

The sky's dark.

The rain's gone.

There's more sunshine in the night than it is in the morning for some reason.

There lies onto the floor, Phil and Matt, just an inch away from the swing that they're sitting on and Jeff can't explain it, he thinks there are smiles on their faces…he doesn't really know anymore. He's too busy crying his eyes out to look properly.

_(I HURT MYSELF!)_

* * *

**'_The news had spread worldwide…indeed, both Matt Hardy and Phil Brooks had been sitting on a swing. Both of them were electrocuted by thunder. Rest in peace, Phil and Matt.'_**

* * *

"That's a sad story, Mom."

"Shut up. You wanted me to tell you a real story, didn't you?"

I watch as sixteen year old Luciano nods his head. Luciano looks down at the blue bed covers of his bed, 'wait…those names…Phil and Matt… those names remind me of someone. I dunno. I think I heard of them."

I simply nod my head at Luciano's gesture.

"They're…" Luciano seems to be at thought.

My husband walks inside of the room and leans down towards them. "Yeah, little kiddo, Matt's your Mother's brother."

"Randy!" I exclaim, 'he didn't figure it out himself."

"Let's ground him anyways."

"Hey! I didn't do anything!"

"Luciano…" I start and at that, Randy laughs, taking my arm and kissing my cheek. "Come on, baby doll, let's go towards the bed."

"I do not want to hear Mom's-"

"Luciano!"

"Don't worry. I'm gonna ground him. No TV or going out or anything." I giggle at him but I know he's joking and to that, Randy takes me towards our bedroom and starts kissing me chastely, then he stares down at me. "Hey, you know, Matt and Phil are happy, aren't they? Don't worry…"

"I can hear them…laughing… you know, whenever I walk into the park. It's just hard for me but I gave Matt what he wanted. I know they're happy but still… I know I gave Matt my future, see? I'm married to you. Even though I don't love you."

"Shut up. You know you love me." Randy grins. "You agreed to my proposal. Though I don't think your next husband will appreciate it if you had a wedding in a park when it's pouring rain on the outside… hell, your dress was so wet that we saw that you weren't wearing any underwear down there, Jeffro."

"I don't choose to wear underwear, understand?" I cross my arms.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry, baby. Cody and Ted did the same thing on their wedding, didn't they? It was raining and Cody was wearing the dress and as if that wasn't enough, Ted knocked a bottle of water down onto Cody's dress. The look on Cody's face…now, that's priceless. Hey, 'Randy's eyes glitter, 'how about we go out to a picnic in the park? You, me, Luciano, Cody, Ted and Maverick?"

Maverick is Cody and Ted's little baby boy. He's about two months old. Cody and Ted had gotten married only five months ago. Luciano is my adopted child but my baby had died around two weeks after his birth. Randy suggests that I adopt Luciano as closure and I'd indeed gotten close to him more than I thought I would.

"I'd love that." I grin at him.

"Great. Now entertain me."

"Shut up, Randy."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

_Two children stand around, a ravenette takes a skip rope from the floor and turns to the elder one. The eight year old takes the rope from the ground and walks towards the other thirteen year old._

"_You're 13 and you can't even skip right!"_

"_Excuse me for not being a girl."_

"_Come on, I'll teach you…"_

_They start skipping with the rope, both of their eyes meeting as the elder one holds onto the eight year old's tiny waist, '1, 2, 3, 4…" and with that, the eight year old accidentally falls onto the thirteen year old's body. _

_The elder one bursts with laughter. "And he says that I have two left feet!"_

_The eight year old pouts._

"_**I swear, we're like kids here…"**_

"_I love you more than every star in the sky, Phil." The thirteen year old, Matt, grins. _

"_It's morning, you idiot! And that line will never ever work! Do you want to go back to that fight? There are a lot of stars in the sky! Lots and lots of stars! It's not gonna work, Matty!"_

_Matt pouts._

_Phil gives in. "I love you more than every star in the sky, too, Matt."_

"_Ha! It works!" _

* * *

**It's really over. O.O. In the saddest way I can think of by the way. XP!**

**I can't believe it. I feel like it's yesterday that I wrote the first chapter, XD! But I'm happy that it's over. Sorta. 'Cause now I can pay attention to more things, can't I? XP! A lot of my fics are going to be over soon and I have a ton of new ideas…most of them are Junk and/or Hardycest for some weird reason. **

**??**

**Oh, and **_**I LOVE YOU, KASSY**_**. **

**I must not forget to add that.**

**Publically enhance my love for her. X3!**

**X Sam. **


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